Me: Hey Peter, I bet when you go to the beach people kick sand on you. (Peter’s really skinny)
Peter: Yeah, but at least they don’t keep trying to push me back into the water.
Marc
An homage, probably. Check out their website Not for the faint of heart…
They’re hilarious, actually. They all look like villians from Power Rangers.
Me to my buddy: You know they say great minds think alike.
Some lady: Idiots probably think alike too.
Well, we knew who they were, but this was, like, 1997. A bit after what I think of as GWAR’s peak years.
I had something similar happen in college. I lived in a coed (mixed floors, separate wings) dorm, and some of the women apparently were whispering that I was a lesbian because I hung out in the guys’ wing of our floor all the time. Yeeeaaah, that’d be productive for a lesbian to do. Besides having made good friends with some of the guys down there (having similar geeky interests), I was hot after one guy who ended up becoming my husband. 
How about…
“I put the Gwen in EXSANGUINATE! DIE, Mutha!”
count me in.
Pffft. Hardly worthy of your user name, then, aren’t you?
We Denizens of the Tower d’Ivorie don’t get out much… especiallly to that part of town
But, ask me what lophotricous flagella means- go ahead, ask me! 
What a tasteless and Takei thing to say!
Sailboat
Is that a double entendre, or do “Trek” and “gay” count one each making it a triple?
My girlfriend had one the other day at the bar.
She was standing at the bar talking to a friend and did not notice a guy walk up behind her. in the middle of her conversation this idiot interrupst her saying:
“You wanna touch my what?”
My girlfriend with out missing a beat:
“Your Vagina F*#% off”
and went back to her conversation the bartender was so impressed he bought her a beer.
A number of years ago on my staff there was a very funny woman who reported to me. Problem was, we both would often forget who the authority figure in the relationship was supposed to be. For example, on numerous occasions, I would intentionally get her so annoyed that she would yell at me but she would accidentally call me by her husband’s name (you can’t get a woman much more annoyed than that).
One day she was doing some proofreading but I had to ask her a question so I politely interrupted and asked the question. About 10 seconds after she went back to her proofing, I realized I had another question. Politely excusing myself again, I asked the question. She answered it and went back to her work. Another 10 seconds go by and I say to her, “Sharon?” She turns to me with that “I-don’t-care-if-you’re-my-boss-I-want-you-to-just-leave-me-alone” look I learned to know so well and says, “Another question?” I said, “No, I just want to see if I can get you to read that same sentence over and over.” She closed her eyes and took a sharp, deep breath. Opening her eyes she very calmly said, “You’re the older brother I never wanted.” Then she picked up her papers and went back to work.
I laughed so hard I fell off my chair.
What does lophotricous flagella mean? Or do you mean “lophotrichous flagella”?
Yeah, I had to look on Wiki… 
Uh, it was trick question, yeah that 's it, and you passed! Good job!
Damn “h”.
I’ve got one from two days ago. A friend and I got out of English to work on a music composition assessment that was due in yesterday. The only other people who were in the music suite at the time were these two guys in the year above us who had music studies that period. They’re the only people in our school who take the subject. It’s different from normal music, which they also take. We share a class with them, but the total number of 6th & 7th formers taking music still adds up to only 12. Anyway, those two guys were just bumming around, one of them was fiddling around with the piano and the other one (a close friend of mine, but we get on each others’ nerves SO much) came and sat at the computer between the ones we were on. I’m a dog person all through (see my sig!) which is what inspired this guy to open up paint and draw a stick figure cat with an angry frowning face and a speech bubble coming out of it that said “I like cat food.” I was too busy stressing about getting my assignment done on time to notice that until he showed me the picture and said it was me. He made me laugh and lose my focus so I had to forfeit my lunchtime to finish my work.
Aside from this, my wonderful friends are guilty of the whole “Your FACE …” thing. We can’t seem to go a day without using it at least 3 times. Always with the same structure:
Friend: You’re _____!
Me: Your FACE is _____!
Friend: Your face is even more _____!
Me: Your face is the _____est!
Friend: Your face is _____er than that!
Me: You smell!
<cue creative name-calling>
…yeah, we have fun with that
In China, some dude muttered something that ended in “houzi” as he passed by me, my wife, and kids. Being a big fan of apes and monkeys, I recognized the word for monkey and asked my wife what he had said. She said he had called me a golden-haired monkey. I loved it and did my best howler monkey imitation for him. Then my wife told me that it was supposed to be an insult as it was derogatory slang for Caucasians who date/marry “their” women.
Here in the US I’ve just been called a “rice chaser”, which is too damn silly to be offensive to me.
At a waterslide park, some teens called me “Sasquatch”. OK, I’ve got chest hair, but not that much!! Again, the primate lover in me was more amused than offended.
Okay, what’s the story for this one? I’m guessing it had to do with the fact that you’re a Mormon?
And in regards to GWAR, aren’t they sort of a joke/parody group? They’re mostly a comedy sort of thing?
I needed a date to a function, so I was pretty much asking everyone I had ever wanted to take out to go with me, not fairing so well.
after about the 5th rejection
and my friend yells “Jesus Christ man, You ARE Kyrptonite to women” across the room
The following story is brought to mind by the stories of people being called the “G” word and the “R” word, but does not in fact meet the title criteria.
A few years back, I served on a jury. It was a rape case. She said her live-in boyfriend (of four weeks) raped her. He said “Nuh-uh! She didn’t fight me or nothin’, I don’t know why she’s calling it rape now” (not his exact words).
So the lawyers do their thing, which included a description of how, earlier in the day of the sex acts in question, he had a fight with a friend. Either accused rapist or his friend had yelled the “M-F word” and the “M-H word” at each other.
Accused rapist refused to tell the judge or the jury what the MF and MH words were. Eventually he consented to reveal one of them–the MF word, which is exactly what you probably think it is. He never did tell us what the MH word was, and so we spent time in the Jury room discussing the matter inconclusively.
Incidently, we decided that it was rape, even if there wasn’t any physical evidence for it–she was lucky she had a two year old in the house, the percieved threat to her child made her claims credible. And once we heard his priors, we were glad to be getting him off the street.