I went to an Ethiopian restaurant with some friends a few years ago. Delicious, but a few hours later all of the chickpeas and beans gathered in my lower intestine and conspired to create some of the biggest and most toxic-smelling farts in all my years on this otherwise-beautiful planet. Fortunately, my wife and kids were out of town at the time, so I suffered in solitude for about two days. Sure felt good, though.
I’ve posted this before, but it’s worth rehashing…
Hard boiled eggs. Ooh, baby. I’ve never distilled any greater stench than from boiled hen fruit.
Anyway, I had earlier consumed an egg salad sandwich. (I love egg salad. I’d eat it from a bowl.) In the afternoon I took the Rykid over to my parents. He was still a little tyke, and he was sitting on the couch in between my mother and me.
Came the time to tap off a few psi, so I snuck a silent one.
For some reason, when the odiferous zephyr wafted up to his nose, he thought it had originated from the direction of my mother. He made a face, both innocent and disgusted at the same time, turned to her and asked, “Bama faht?”
I started pointing and laughing at her and bellowed, “Busted!” She got all flustered and left while my son and I shared a huge belly laugh in her living room.
My husband…
You guys have no idea. Chickpeas aren’t bad, but Sunchokes (also Jerusalem Artichokes) are THE most fart inducing food known to man. They may not be the stinkiest, but they are the most FREQUENT. And OFTEN.
Cites:
http://www.phelios.com/sd/archives/feb05.html
http://homecooking.about.com/od/foodhealthinformation/a/sunchokehealth.htm
For the uninitiated, these are INSTANT fart producers. Don’t believe me? Try them.
In the intervening time while this thread has been brewing, yes I have.
I was sitting on a light wooden Ikea chair at the time. It was awesome! Shame there was no one around to be properly impressed by it.
vvvvrrrrrrttt
The entire time I’ve been reading this, I’ve been dying a laughing-induced death.
I am contemptuously and utterly disapproving of this noxious, puerile thread.
Absolutely disgusting and childish.
Grow up!
oh alright alright it’s cheese-brocolli soup
warmed up, quite hot
it’s like the Exorcist went off in there