Me, straight Tall (6’3") male
Him scruffy skinny kid about 5’7"
Him “You’re like a giant Jesus, I wanna take you home and Impale you”
I told him that probably would have worked if I only swung that way. It was really funny regardless.
It’s better when it’s delivered properly.
“Hey gurl, my d*ck just died, can I bury it in your ass?”
There we go.
I’ve heard of deep-fried Mars bars but wow has carnival food gotten decadent!
I’ve always been a fan of “does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”
I just, today, watched Patton Oswalt’s use of this joke in My Weakness is Strong.
In the context of Uncle Touchy’s Naked Puzzle Basement.
So, I’m voting not sexy. Hilarious, but not sexy.
There’s a Brendan Fraser movie where he uses a line like, “Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me… I seem to have lost my Congressional Medal of Honor around here somewhere.” I’ve always wanted to use that.
One young lady approached me and said her friend offered to give me one of her shoes if I gave young lady my number. It was so random that it would have worked even if I hadn’t been checking her out a few minutes prior. I didn’t accept the shoe.
A friend went up to a woman in a dating bar in Boston and said “I’m an economist, and this looks like a marketplace to me.”
I rather doubt it worked.
He is an economist though.
C’mon, Voyager can’t ya remember what you posted 7 years ago?
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice…hi I’m…
One I still remember was on Friends. Someone told Phoebe she had a nice name and she replied “Thank you! You should hear my phone number.”
I actually read through the thread looking for that, but missed it!
Not sure if this really counts but here goes:
About 15 years ago me and a buddy of mine were hanging out at a beach bar and a girl and her friend came up,to me and said that I looked like the ‘pool boy’ from the resort in St Bart’s that they just got back from.
Well, for some reason (I think I,must have recently watched Mel Brooks History of the World) my smart ass response was ‘well, you look like a bucket of shit!’ Both my friend (who got the reference) and I promptly broke into hysterical laughter - nothing better than cracking your own self up!
The girls definitely did not get the reference - but our cracking up must have done something right because we spent the rest of the week showing the two cuties around and hooking up. Loved being a bartender in a beach town for the summer!
My friend always remembers that story as the one I picked up a girl telling her she looked like a bucket of shit!
While trash talking about how small a town she lives in: Maybe I could come there some time & you could show me all of the attractions in town, if you have 20 or 30 seconds to spare. :dubious:
Reply: I’m free on Sunday.
A guy saddles up to me at the bar and says, “I’M HERE!! … so, what are your next two wishes?”
That’s a shame - I bet you would have made a wonderfully cute couple
As we’re going through the checkout at the grocery store where I work, Zyada tells the cute young cashier “Watch out! He’s a terrible flirt!” I reply “She always says that! I thought I was pretty good.” (Cashier laughs a little. …beat…beat…) “So, how you doin’?” The cashier cracked up, and would probably have gone out with me if I were single and forty years younger.
Ah, if I’d known then what I know now…
I have a nine-inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears.
Blast from the past.
He, I’m not that fat!
I said A polar bear, not THE Polar Bear. For I was referencing one of your bretheran and not the esteemed member you are
Yeah I like that line a lot too, it’s pretty slick. I’ve never used it, but it’s one of my greatest aspirations.
Just so you know Fraser’s character in Blast From the Past is repeating a line originating from a comedian named Jackie Vernon who was active beginning in the 50s. It goes along with how Fraser’s character has only been exposed to pop culture up to the early 60s.
As for myself, I saw it’s already been posted (most good pick up lines have been well-traveled anyway, right?) but I’ve always liked “Well here I am, what are your other two wishes?”