Once at an SF convention, I attended a panel on flirting. (Yeah, like SF fans need any help with that! Studly bunch that we are. 
) One panelist mentioned several pickup lines used by acquaintances of his who actually, really, thought they would work. My favorite example:
“Come over here, little girl, and I’ll show you what I learned in prison!”
Overweight middleaged man: “Would you come out to the car and put makeup on me?”
I politely declined.
My boyfriend a few years ago picked me up with, “So if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no-one there to hear it, does it make a sound?”
I answered with something along the lines of, “Well, if you consider “sound” to be a subjective thing to be heard by eardrums, then no. If you consider “sound” to be vibrations off the other trees in the forest, then yes.”
Thus followed a long and weird relationship (previous to the one alluded to in my last thread on relationships, just in case anyone is following).
A few years ago I walked into a pub that I didnt normally use and was served by one of the most beautiful women Ive ever met .
I got chatting with a couple of the regulars in there who both had asked this girl out many times without success and expressed my “admiration” for her to them in no uncertain terms counting on the unspoken “mans code of conduct” from them .
But one of them acted like a total asshole and told her that I fancied her something rotten in an effort I think to make me embarassed and leave, or to embarrass her and “scare her off”.
Her response was to say “Well if he were to ask me out Id accept”.
Which I promptly did .
I actually wouldnt have had the nerve to ask her out in normal circumstances so it was an unexpected gift for me plus I enjoyed the jealousy of the saddo who tried to "stitch me up "
Its here that Im supposed to say that she later became my wife and so on but we slept together a few times and then went our own seperate ways .
Gorgeous thogh she was we had absaloutly nothing in common.
But it still makes for a very pleasant memory.
Not the most original, perhaps, but the most effective: at a party, a gorgeous 16-year-old sidled up to me and whispered in my ear: “I want you to help me lose my virginity tonight.”
(For the overly sensitive, a] I was 18 at the time, b] it’s legal here at that age anyway, and c] I didn’t because I didn’t have a condom.)
I laughed for a very long time at this.
“Hey gurl, there’s only going to be seven planets left after I destroy Uranus.”
Now that is funny!
A friend once said “Girl, if I could change the alphabet I would put U and I together.”
“How would you like your eggs in the morning…scrambled or fertilized?”
Thus happened to my cousin, but it’s too funny not to to share.
There was a chat up line going round her school; hand the object of desire 10p, and say “Here, call your Mum, tell her you’re not coming home tonight.” Bad enough anyway, really, but what my cousin got was a guy walking up to her, silently handing her 10p, staring, frozen and wordless at her for 30 seconds then running away.
It didn’t work.
I have a thing for shy/awkward guys. Pretty sure it would have worked for me *only if he failed.
*
So how’re you… oh, who am I kidding, it’s years too late for me. 
“You look really familiar-- you ever done Internet porn?”
Simple. I don’t believe you… any of you… if only because I’ve never seen it or heard it happen. Ever.
But if you want a good line, I’ll happily steal from Raymond Chandler:
“I don’t like your manners.”
“And I’m not crazy about yours. I didn’t ask to see you. I don’t mind if you don’t like my manners, I don’t like them myself. They are pretty bad.
I grieve over them on long winter evenings.”
Good start. Try stuttering more. Don’t worry, I’m patient.
“Hey gurl, I got the STD and all I need is U”
Not original, but there’s always “That shirt (dress whatever) looks becoming on you. Of course if I were on you, I’d be cumming too.” Pure class.
“I’m normally up for anal with strangers, but I just can’t with a Pluto hater!”
That song is weird.
“Hey gurl, my d*ck just died, can I bury it is your ass?”
Had a carny come up to me and ask if I wanted to go in halves on a baby. Didn’t work on me, but it must have worked sometime.
Was sitting with some girl friends at a military club and this half drunk guy staggered up and asked if any of us beautiful ladies wanted to have a cheap, sleazy one night stand with a drunk Master Sgt. Two of us were ready to toss our drinks in his face when the third one grabbed her purse, said “I’d love to” and left with him.
That’s why I know those lame lines must work once in a while. 99 drinks in the face and 1 OK, lets go.