That was magnificent.
When Death said “Hi there,” I completely lost it. Sprayed Coke Zero all over the freaking monitor. Tyler’s eyes were hilarious as well. It also kinda looks like the Darwin fighting the T-Rex might be related to the guy with the spear standing in front of the cross stabbing at Jesus. Perfect!
Easily my favorite part. The implication that the King James Version is the only real version of the Bible is just too funny.
Believe it or not, one issue of Chick’s Crusader Comics is all about that – the KJV is the only True-Word-of-God translation and all others are corruptions inspired by the Gnostic “Alexandria Cult” (and by Satan, of course, who is shown as standing at translators’ shoulders).
Personally, I think Chick is a demon-posessed shill whom Satan is using to make the very idea of Satan look ridiculous. 
With Tyler’s comments about Master Race’s, I’d say Chick is trying to cash in on ‘Expelled’-mania.
Edit: Which Mobo85 pretty much said already…
I’m so ashamed I misspelled “Haw! Haw! Haw!” I must be descended from a monkey.
Regards,
Shodan
I thought the “Ouch!” part came when we lost our tails.
I agree though, a fine Chick effort. Maybe a bit too subtle for Ben Stein, but entertaining nonetheless.
Polywog = ethnic swinger?
Jesus was riding on the back of the T-Rex - you just couldn’t see him.
My favorite part was the “plop” sound made by Tyler, when he “croaked”. Like a frog falling into a toilet.
Ooooh, this one’s suitable for framing. Nice work, Mr. Chick!
I love Tyler’s little leap of logic into eugenics. “My hair is blond and I have blue eyes, so…I’m above all others! I’m part of the master race!” What part of your mom’s hilariously stupid explanation of evolution did you get that from, you little fascist?
You mean HAW HAW HAW!
I love how they define Relative as meaning “whatever you feel” Hilarious in that it assumes its audience is incredibly dense and that it doesn’t even give a correct definition.
I was hoping the story would end with “And that little boy who didn’t know who Jesus was grew up to be the head of the Illanois Nazi Party… and now you know the rest of the story”
Lake of fire suits though… I think this will have to be our next Chick Tract theatre
My favs:
The “Wiggle Wiggle” and “wheeee!”
Tyler’s hypno-eyes when morality dies.
“plop”.
That and the “plop” as Tyler “croaked.”
And science believes man’s greatest achievement is losing our tails? 
What’s sad is that some people do not read these for entertainment.
If you change the word scientist to preacher, then Chick would be happy.
First, to pretty much everybody who responded:
I don’t know whether I have already made this clear in previous Chick rants, but here goes:
I fully appreciate the kind of fannish enthusiasm felt for some of his “better” productions. There’s definitely a kind of guilty pleasure that some of the tracts give me.
Heck, I may someday even develop a site for Chick pubs, similar to Kurt’s site (I promised a link soon) but with a less friendly spirit.
There’s a whole paradoxical feel to it, which reminds me of one of the few bits of dialog from “The Life of Riley.” It concerns a rather spooky single male neighbor named Waldo, played by Sterling Holloway, who was one of the regular cast.
Once someone expressed concern to Riley about Waldo’s appearance, re health. He blandly dismissed this, by observing that the healthier he actually is, the sicker he looks.
Ah, to be new at all this. There was actually a fairly early tract, early 1970’s in spite of the 2002 revision cover date, that is actually titled “Hi There!”
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0076/0076_01.asp
(Not taking any chances on a broken link again.)
Not only does it include perhaps the first expression of the phrase (unless “This was your Life”, one of the very earliest has the death angel saying it) but I think that the peanut butter sandwich metaphor, plus some of the other quirks will send you back in hysterics. Best put away that Coke Zero and any other “sprayable” or “chokable” food items.
Official Warning: MNBFS!
Both tracts are available at Chick’s own site.
[del]JTC[/del]
TBJ
Hey, God had a face back then.
I also learned from this one that you can recognise bad people by their lumpy, scrunched-up faces.
So the ad at the bottom says
I click the link and get
Heh, heh, heh.
My favorite is the other family pet besides the cat. WTF is that!? It looks like a cross between a crocodile, and aardvark, and a giant anteater. And why does it first appear as a picture on the wall?
I’m certain Jack must have done a shitload of acid when he was younger.
Nah, nobody who’s done a bunch of acid could be as unhip as Chick. After all, doing acid teaches you that science is really cool and offers you things like better living through chemistry. Religion just offers you a bunch of uptight people.
I just noticed that. What IS that?
Say what you want about Jack Chick. He is definitely meticulous about the details. Even details that included whatever-the-fuck that animal is supposed to be.