I’ve been in a relationship with J for a little under 2 months now, and I totally fell for the guy. I thought everything was going great. As of tomorrow, I’m not going to see him for 11 weeks (my trip to Spain + bootcamp for him), but I was willing to wait for him.
Well, today he told me that he thought we should just be friends, that the feelings weren’t strong enough. It makes me wonder why he waited until the day before I left to do it, though- did he just want fucking privileges until I left? I mean, that’s not the kind of thing I would expect from him, but what do I know? This is what I get for sleeping with the guy so early in the relationship, I guess. But I just totally fell for him, and I thought that those feelings were returned.
We hadn’t exchanged those three little words yet- I know that both of us are a little cautious before saying them. But I was planning on telling him that I loved him tonight- since I wasn’t going to be seeing him for 11 weeks, I wanted to make my feelings known before I left. I guess I’m just kind of glad he broke up with me before I embarassed myself.
This is the first serious relationship I’d had in a year- after my last boyfriend and I broke up, I was kind of in the “I just want to have fun” mindset, as opposed to wanting an actual relationship. My mind changed with J. Now, I’m not even in that “I just want to have fun” mindset- I have no desire to mess around with anyone else. I just want to be with J.
I’m normally the one donig the breaking up, not the other way around. I suppose karmicly, it has to be my turn. But it hurts. This is my first real, major heart break. I’m not so young (17) and naive that I don’t think it will ever happen again, but this really fucking hurts.
To make matters worse, normally when I’m upset, the best people to comfort me were either J or my dog. J is obviously not an option, and my dog is currently in the kennel (we’re going on a family trip to Spain tomorrow). I also don’t know how I’m going to get through this trip.
J and I were friends before this relationship, and I hope maybe we eventually still can be. But I’m not so sure about that.