Which apparently is a channel, but not one I am authorized to view. I have yet to catch it in the act, because I often use it like a radio from the other room. I just keep hearing it go silent, and when I investigate…Channel 666. Three times now, in a couple hours.
I just figured I’d get the word out before IT BEGINS.
We are right to be afraid. Just a few minutes ago in GQ, I figured out that small led lights use about .15 watts which is the equivalent of 666.666 one hundred watt light-bulbs. I have no idea if that is right or not but that is what the calculator said more than once as I watched in terror repeating the calculation hoping to get a different result. I have a Bible here and emergency supplies. Try to keep a pure heart no matter what lustful things he says and you will be Ok except for the lingering smell which I am told you can never get rid of. A Bible dunked in the toilet makes passable Holy water in a pinch.
But to state the obvious, your six button is stuck. Probably by demonic ectoplasmic slime.
Actually, I have now determined the problem, and it wasn’t that. It was pretty funny, though, so I’m curious if anyone can guess. It does involve me failing to observe something crucial, of course.
The greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing Ensign Edison he didn’t exist?
Obviously you’ve never seen what he can do with a couple of cherry stems.
Was it your cat stepping on the remote?
Mine are always changing the channel on me and recording things over my videos. I bet if I had a channel 666 they would be watching it.
Oooh, the Rapture can’t happen tomorrow. Two people at work already have taken the morning off, so if my boss gets raptured, too, we’ll be severely understaffed.
When I was a mischievous teen of about 14, I used to play a game much like this with some of our neighbors. I would take our cable remote outside, find a house that had a TV and cable box visible from the window, and start fooling around with the channels. I have to admit that it was quite amusing, because they could never figure out what was going on. Is it possible you have your TV near a window and a jokester in your neightborhood?
Unless it’s something more mundane like a recording timer or the like.
Does your Tivo think you like Mexican Porn .
If so, why fight it?
The dark side is calling…and they have cookies.
Thanks, that’s a great tip! (The stuff you get out of the stoup burns horribly when I pass it.)
My cable remote has default “return to channel xx” that I didn’t know about for a while. Finally read the instructions and found out I can re-set the defaults to whatever I want. I also set a timer accidently a few times. Now weird cable problem lately is channels I got yesterday (not premium) are missing from my living room but still appear in my bedroom, calling again tonight.
That’s most amusing to play in motels, where everyone has the same TV you have, and you can switch it through the window by the door. 
I’ll bet Ensign Edison has a window with some hanging glass gewgaws or mirrored-things that sunlight is bouncing off of. That kind of thing can change TV channels, and it would make sense it was hitting the same number each time.
I don’t think you’re supposed to drink it.
looks around
Well, so far, no Rapture. Did we get lucky this time?
Dude, the devil is fucking with your math skills. 666.666 100 watt bulbs would burn 66666.6 watts, not 0.15 watts.
Thanks for the tip about the bible though. I’ll move my Gideon’s bible to the top of my toilet tank, just in case. My toilet does smell like it’s possessed, though.
I don’t have to worry about that problem where I work. We’re all staying right where we are… :dubious:
“666? Aaaaah!”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t get cable.”
What, no manger scenes among your office holiday decorations?
It wouldn’t have mattered if she had been raptured after all…it was a very slow day. Hmmm…maybe the rapture only affected the other departments… 
You will need an old priest and a young priest.