my cat hates my guy

Ok, more relationship stuff ( I will stop soon, I promise!)

My cat is very friendly, very. Whenever anyone comes over, Murphy hears a new voice, comes out to have his belly rubbed.
He is most insistent that the new arrival worship him.

He hates my man-friend. He came out for one minute the first time he came over… he GLARED at him, then looked from him to me and back a few times, then left in a huff.

My friend has been over lots since then, and murphy wont even come out of the bedroom! I lured him out with lunch meat (his fave) ad gave the meat to my friend to feed Murphy.

Murph chose to leave rather than take the meant from him!!

He loves cats, has one himself, and he feels bad that mine hates him. The cat he has was un-tameable by its previous two owners, then he got the cat, and now its a sweet loving pet.

How do I get Murphy to like my friend?
If he is jealous - how did he know anyhting would even happen? The first time my friend came over, we didnt even touch, let alone kiss!

Cat people! Help me!!

Cats are psychic. Well, not really, but it does seem odd.
He does seem jealous.
Maybe your man friend could bring over HIS cat, to distract and soften up Murph.

His cat is an indoor cat(they both are)…

he might be freaked out by the whole thing…

Maybe if I rubbed Dan with catnip?

Rubbed him with catnip?

I don’t think I’d worry yet. Cats get into a huff easily. Just let it slide for a bit. You can always dump the guy if it doesn’t get better. :slight_smile: If I was him, I’d just worry about being attacked at an inopportune moment, in a vunerable place. :slight_smile:

Leave your man and your cat in a locked room to sort out their differences. When the conflict reaches it’s predictably tragic but necessary conclusion, you get to keep the winner and bury the loser. Problem solved. :smiley:

How well do you know this ‘man-friend’?

Perhaps Murphy smells your man-friend’s cat on his clothing, hands, etc. and is irritated by the scent of the perceived rival cat. Are both cats the same gender?

[SIDEBAR EXAMPLE: One of our cats is TOTALLY freaking out over an outdoor cat that has taken to hanging out on our patio and by our bedroom window…okay, so we MIGHT have left food out for him when we noticed him prowling, but still, my cat is safe and secure inside, but wigs everytime she sees this cat (who incidentally looks just like one of our other cats).]

I wouldn’t worry about it - even if you weren’t doing anything with the guy, you probably were giving him a lot more attention than you would your friends, and so the cat was getting a lot less attention from you than usual. The cat’s just jealous.

At least your guy loves your pus… oh, never mind.

Sometimes it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

Don’t you mean, like drowning kittens?

I’d use the the same method someone once suggested for the Balkans. Build a high wall all around them, and then throw in small arms until the noise stopped.

Or get rid of the boyfriend; much the safer course. If you try it the other way, your cat is liable to hunt you down and kill you.


I don’t remember a prior mention as to whether you can has shown this same behavior toward other men you were romantically involved with.

If the answer is yes, then jelousy’s likely the answer. If the answer is no, then your cat knows something about Dan that you don’t.


Maybe the cat just needs time to adjust. My cat is very hostile to any newcomers, glaring, hissing, paw swiping; however, once the person has been over many times, the cat will sit on the person’s lap and purr. How long has kitty been exposed to your guy?

Throw away the cat.

I’m with obfus on this one. Dump the cat. Cats suck a big, fat, major one. But, you might as well dump the guy too, since everyone knows that any guy who “loves cats” is a fucking liar and is just trying to get into your pants anyway.

I think Peta’s got it. It’s not the man your cat objects to, it’s the smell of the man’s cat.

How can you get Murphy to like New Guy? You can’t - cats are contraries and he’s not about to do anything just to please you. (But you can bet if New Guy hated cats, or had an allergy, Murphy would be constantly trying to get in his lap.) I’d try ignoring the cat’s behavior and let him work it out on his own.

Actually, I think that cats CAN be psychic. Or maybe they just have a sense that we don’t understand. My cats have, over the years, demonstrated several times that THEY know when someone is important enough to me that they should be jealous. Lots of times it has been before even I knew it.

I would just give it time, and keep loving your cat and paying as much attention to him as always. He will come around eventually. Probably. :slight_smile:


I bet you that it just his aura.

  1. He is jealous. My dog mopes everytime I cuddle with my husband. I have to sit her down and gently explain that while I still love her, I love my husband equally.
  2. She senses another cat. Another cat that might move in with her one day. She is wary of attention and territory.
  3. Hi Opal!
    4.Maybe she just isn’t into him. I had a bird that hated me because I was too loud and moved too quickly. She just might not like the way he is.

It is a cat. Sit it down and tell it “Tough Luck, I’m the master, you are the cat. I need a life too”

There are some things that animals know better than people, and sussing the okay folks from the assholes is one of them. I have had many dogs and cats in my life, and it was always true that if they didn’t like one of my friends or romantic contacts, that person turned out to be a big time loser.

Dump the guy. Keep the cat. The cat will be your friend for life. The guy will only be there till the next pussy comes along.