Yes, it is the Randy Mantooth for Emergency, he was on Street Smarts the night before last (I don’t know why I like Street Smarts so much, but I do).
Puggy, I think I had the same thought as you when reading Sean’s weiner post–great mind think alike.
If you are in an accident and your underwear is both clean and sans holes (as your mother always advised), but is on inside out, will you still make Baby Jesus cry?
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?”
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, “Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?”
Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. “You really ARE Einstein!” he says.
“Welcome to heaven!”
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, “Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?” Saint Peter says, “Go ahead.”
Picasso erases Einstein’s equations and sketches a truly stunning mural
with just a few strokes of chalk. Saint Peter claps. “Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!” he says. “Come on in!”
Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, “Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity.
How can you prove yours?”
George W. looks bewildered and says, “Who are Einstein and Picasso?”
Saint Peter sighs and says, “Come on in, George.”
Zen Wisdom for the Cynic
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. And stay away from scuba diving as well.
We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our butts. Then things get worse.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. (for Sean)
There is a fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness”.
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Kallessa (aka the “Why Be Normal” Kid)
