WOW Dirk, how fascinating! I am going to save your “instructions” and give them to the next guy I date. I am one of those people who thought I couldn’t orgasm with oral sex. Not like my past partners didn’t try. We tried A LOT, to no avail. But NONE of them ever did it like you described! Now I really think it IS possible to do it!! Thanks for enlightening us! BTW, where did you learn that? Did you just develop the technique on your own?
Also, I think people need to lighten us and no be so uptight about this subject. I think Dirk’s post was totally valid because it has given us a lot to think about, raised some interesting moral/ethical questions, and is just plain interesting, not to mention educational! I thank Dirk for sharing this very personal story with us! Personally, I don’t think I would like my husband doing that, BUT I think it’s applaudable that the husbands and wives here are secure enough in their relationships to let this happen. And the friend’s wife is now better off because her husband now knows the technique. So what’s the big deal?
This may sound incredibly geeky, but in 1976 I was on Plato, an instructional computer system with plasma touch screens. One lesson (that’s what programs were called) was a picture of a woman’s naughty bit. Touching the appropriate parts in the appropriate ways raised an intensity meter, and eventually shattered the picture.
Amazingly enough, it was anatomically accurate. I think Dirk should make some shareware on this …
Are you saying that married people should refrain from sex or sexual activity when their children are in the house*?
No wonder you’re grouchy, if you’ve had 27 years of trying to find a time when all 3 kids are gone to have sex. Must be miserable. I don’t see any way for a married couple to maintain a normal sex life with that rule in effect. As long as they can’t see or hear it, what does it matter if you’re in the other room naked, hanging from the ceiling fan with a bottle in your ass, or performing the act stated in the OP?
*in the same house being distinctly different from in the same room. Nobody’s arguing that that would be inappropriate, as well as any situation where they could possibly become aware of the festivities or stumble upon them.
Well, I could no more speak for all straight guys than you could speak for all lesbians, but you would really eat pussy all day if it did absolutely nothing sexually for the pussy’s owner? I mean, I like doing it too, but only so far as I like making her feel good (which is pretty dang far). But my original statement stands, if we were transported to a world where no one got any pleasure from recieving cunnilingus, there would be a whole lot less pussy licking going on. Making no judgements on the superiority liking the taste of vagina to the point of making it a 9 to 5 activity versus wishing to bring pleasure to another human being, I feel confident that is how things would be.
I’m with Dirk on this one. I recently ended a 7 year marriage, in which the last 4 years or so were open. I had no problem with sex, as some people are able to enjoy sex without a lot of emotional baggage. Some can’t.
Even now, in my currently monogamous relationship, I have certain physical acts I am allowed to do with others. If my girl called me and said that there was an emergency situation similar to the one described by Dirk, and she had been asked to demonstrate her oral techinique on a friend, I would have no problem with it. I love her, I love my friends. Why would I want to deprive them of learning something that could be a great boon to their sexlife?
I’m confident enough in her and I’s relationship that I know she’s not going to dump me because of this.
Coda- Morals are not an absolute. They never have been. Some people have different moral standards… personally, for me, you’re in violation of one of mine (trying to put my own morals on someone else) but that’s all you. It takes all kinds.
And I would be willing to bet that this sort of behavior is more common then you think.
At the risk of enraging my IMHO colleagues, I’ll ask this anyway: HUH?
Surely, it is not the norm that a woman climaxes after a mere minute of oral sex? Admittedly, I’ve never brought a stopwatch, but I can assure you my experiences have led me to believe the time span is usually somewhere in the 5 to 10 minute range.
Granted, my sample size is hardly of statistic significance, and maybe I ought to follow the DrkGently School of Cunnilingus to hone my skills, but I haven’t had any complaints as to my abilities, either.
“Hi babe, how’s it going? Good day? We’re out of what…yeah…oh…sure, I can pick that up on my way home. Anyway, I’m just at Jim and Jane’s, and I was wondering if I can go down on Jane?”
Doper; Hi honey how are u doing?
wifey: hi, where are you? When are you coming home?
doper: Im at a friends house and he WANTS ME TO GIVE HIS WIFE ORAL SEX RIGHT NOW.
Wifey: Ok, can you pick the carrots on your way back? Can’t bloody well cook supper without them.
doper: I’ll do that RIGHT AFTER I GIVE ORAL SEX TO MY FRIENDS WIDE WITH YOUR CONSENT.
Wifey: can’t talk now. See you in a couple of minutes baby and show her the good old tongue tornado…
Hmm… disclaimer I don’t want to restart the is this morally ok holy wars… I’m merely stating how this would be in my marriage. …
Sex with my husband is very emotionally involved and oral sex is even more intimate to me/us than generic intercourse. I also do not like to share… so if he ever gave me that call the doors would all have new locks on them before he could hang up the phone!
That aside… I was wondering how awesome his technique could possibly be to get that reaction. Frankly the description in the OP read a bit like stereo instructions for me. Not a twinge of oooh at all. I figure it is all in how happy you are with your partner’s current skills. I can not possibly imagine how my hubby could improve his technique without rendering me some kind of vegetable for life Therefore no big deal for me… for someone who had never gotten to orgasm this way I can see why they’d want to learn how!
In response to the minute question. It takes me a bit longer than a couple minutes but that takes into account his ability to sense what’s happening and switch techniques to make me happier longer I am a very lucky lady.
tanookie,
I’m actually glad the description read like “stereo instructions.” I was trying to keep it more or less “clinical,” since the purpose was not to be vulgar or overly titilating.
For those who MUST know, the conversation with my wife went more-or-less thusly:
(after some general chit-chat)
Me: Hey, you know that thing we were talking about the other day?
Her: Yes…
Me: Well, I’m and John and Sarah’s, and we’re discussing that right now! hahah!
Her: Oh, really?? (a verbal “wink” can be heard)
Me: Yes…and do you remember how we talked about this a while back and you said, “I can’t imagine why I would NOT want another woman to feel this way”
Her: Yes…why?
Me: Well, John and Sarah think it might be a good idea for me to demonstrate it! Sarah thinks she might not even be able to orgasm from it, so it would be an interesting experiment…
Her: Oh, that poor thing! (laughing) Let me talk to Sarah…
some conversation went on between them for a few minutes, mostly just them confirming that they were both okay with it, with a lot of laughing/giggling
Me: So, you’re really okay with this?
Her: Yes, we’re all consenting adults…
Etc., more-or-less like what I stated previously in the thread.
I know some folks will get it, some won’t…there is a LOT of history behind this conversation, stretching back YEARS…
We are in IMHO right? I am not pushing my morals on anyone else. I am stating my opinion, last I knew I could do that in this forum.
I am in agreement with those who feel the act described in the OP is an intimate one. And if I happen to believe sharing intimacy with others wives other than your own is not morally right, then I exercise my right to say so.
Dirk - Look, I am sorry this thread went somewhere you did not want it to go. And I must take some responsibility for that. But if you opened this thread thinking someone would not wander in with a conflicting viewpoint, then I am sorry to be conflicting.
I grew up in the 60’s. I got married in 1976. I don’t want to sound cliché but I experienced the free love associated with the revolutionary times of the mid and late 60’s. I loved it. But the point was I was not married.
If I happen to think the act described in the OP is not something I would do as a married man, I am intitled to think that way. Some who have posted agree that the act is too intimate for a married man, others think the OP is a complete fabrication, and still others want to know more, and others still agree completely with you. Fact is we are all allowed to express our feeling regarding your OP. If I sounded like I was putting my morals on you I appologize, you are a grown man and able to do what ever you want, with out being judged by others.
I stand by my assertion that as a married man I could not bring myself to be that intimate with another mans wife. Especially another mans wife who has children. And as another poster said, the act you describe could lead to other things with your friends wife. Imagine if she went behind his back and asked you to have sex with her - granted on a limited description you already did - I’d think after the intimacy you two have already shared you may have a difficult time saying no to that proposition.
Plainly, I consider it unfaithful to a moral obligation.
Therefore no big deal for me… for someone who had never gotten to orgasm this way I can see why they’d want to learn how!