EEK! I’m 76. You could be my kid! (And I’d be proud if you were.)
Yes, if it turns it to be a good situation, you could definitely move in. This is not a bad way to spend your so-called Golden Years.
We don’t have free ice cream, but coffee is always available. I would never come out against free ice cream. If I can’t indulge myself and do what I want now, how the fuck old do I have to be? 96? 106? 
I strongly agree about finding a place that is not part of a large corporate entity looking to maximize profits and minimize services. My facility is owned by a couple of brothers who live in Chicago and the staff here has, for the most part, been here for a long time. They always put the residents first and will accommodate any reasonable requests, whether it’s for different window coverings or a different stove or to have new carpet installed.
As with the OP, this is a 55+ facility, not a full-care facility. Some folks here have personally-hired help, but most get themselves around. Housekeeping comes in weekly. Breakfast is free, although we normally make our own, as I’m not a fan of oatmeal. Other meals are charged to your bill, and many people are on a meal plan, which is cheaper than a la carte. We don’t really engage in activities other than exercise three days a week. Bingo and other games of that sort just don’t appeal to us. We still drive, so that gives us a lot of freedom that others don’t have. They do have a 12 passenger van to take folks to the stores or concerts or out to restaurants on scheduled activities.
Ditto for me.
I wonder if most of us are experiencing this. The weird part is that meaningful conversations have become more rare as I age. I miss the long, late-night discussions in college, and wonder why these disappeared as time went on. Like you mentioned there are 3 people in my world who can have a deep conversation, and I’m related to all of them (wife, son, daughter). FTR: They report the same experience and often come home just for a break from “sound-byte” conversations. Our youngest mentioned yesterday how refreshing it is “just being able to disagree peacefully”.
Glad to hear the move went well and you (mostly) like the new place. I’ve read both threads and appreciate you starting them. We’re late 60s now and are thinking about the next step, but our kids are way ahead of us and cooperating on an addition to one’s house so we can age there.
Thanks for that affirmation about serious conversation. I think also that hanging out here at the SDMB we encounter people who are smart, curious, well read, and articulate, and who could have those conversations if we knew them in person. Like a whirlpool they’ve been pulled into this virtual location. But out in the world they’re scattered very sparsely indeed. I miss long conversation about different subjects just for its own sake.
Yeah, but we are also anonymous. So you can speak your mind, and not worry about consequences
.
In real life, you worry about consequences. Maybe insulting someone, or hurting someone or just accidently leaving a bad feeling, which might affect your friendship.
Think of the classic sit-com scene: a Thanksgiving dinner with all your relatives. Somebody is a Trump supporter, some are not, Somebody is old-fashioned and wants the school system to go back to teaching cursive handwriting or else the world will collapse,etc. In my family, we can have serious discussions around the table. But after 10-15 minutes, we tend to drift. Because, well…life gets in the way.
Ahhh…but here at the Dope! A good thread means the balance of the universe gets re-set.
(This place really does add something positive to my life. I get to use my brain, often in the middle of the night . 
My mother, living in her assisted living facility, tells me she stays away from political discussions with her neighbors, because it creates unnecessary tension.
The facility is a closed environment , like a cruise ship. You want to be able to smile at everybody.
Of course, you are correct. But I wasn’t even thinking of political discussions. The fact that on this board you can ask if somebody knows this movie, or this book, or this philosopher or did they read this article, and you will find several people who did. Even when people ask about highly technical subjects. There are usually several people here who are in that profession, or they are experts, or heck, they’ve even written a book on the subject.
At The Home where I live now few people have the breadth of background that I do in terms of reading and curiosity and just knowing lots of stuff. Well, maybe there are a couple of people who do but in general these are your ordinary run of the mill people that you see at the shopping mall. We don’t have a lot in common. I believe @Chefguy has addressed this subject WRT his residence.
There are a lot of very educated folks in this facility. Not well-traveled, for the most part, but lots of book-larnin’. They’re generally politically aware and left-leaning and happy to engage in political discussion. In fact, there’s a weekly “in-the-news” forum, but we don’t go because it’s basically an echo chamber of Democratic views. My career was largely hands-on work, whereas most of these folks are from academia or other closed off careers.
Am I remembering incorrectly that you said you didn’t like going to the dining room because there were no (or few) like-minded people for y’all to converse with? Am I getting you mixed up with someone else?
I see what you’re getting at now. It’s not that we’re not politically like-minded; rather it’s that the scope of the conversations is painfully narrow. Most of these people have not traveled extensively or even lived anywhere other than MN or WI. We just have little in common with most of them in either backgrounds or in life journeys. Also, there is one guy who repeats the same things every time we chat and asks the same questions he always asks. He’s nice enough, but I try to avoid him. Unfortunately, if we go to the dining room, he homes in on us and invites himself to our table.
Yes, thank you. That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. I haven’t traveled all that much myself, but I will ask people if they’ve read this book, or heard of this writer, or saw this article in this publication, or even ever heard of this popular idea, and they just stare at me blankly.
I’m amazed at how many things that I consider to be common knowledge, people around here have never heard of. Or they’re surprised when I tell them something. I hear a lot, “I never thought of that,” or “I’ve never heard of that.” Someone that I really like here said to me one day, “I just don’t analyze things the way you do.” Good grief, I’m not a mental giant, but I do think about things and turn them around and I would like to have somebody to talk to about that.
People are certainly nice enough here, but their inner worlds are pretty narrow.
One friend, in a place down south about 400 miles away, started a discussion group that meets every 2 weeks to talk about current events. That sounded like a great idea to me but he has since stopped doing it because he’s the only leader who investigates the topics and it ended up being too much work. Which is unfortunate because I think it’s a great idea.
I think the concept can be successful without it being too burdensome on anyone. The group can decide which topics they want to discuss, and each meeting can stay focused on that topic. You’d need a moderator or two to help keep people on point, but it also wouldn’t require one or a few people doing all the research — everyone brings and contributes their thoughts on the topic.
But you’d have to sniff out the BS, too. Maybe the first 15 minutes of each session would be dedicated to fact checking the prior session. That would be a little more work for someone, to keep notes of a meeting, but everyone in the group can do their fact checking and bring their results to the next session.
Hmmm, this idea might be workable. A lot depends on the people involved. Any participants who are loud and domineering would need to be reigned in a bit, if that can be done, and you’d need people with good moderating skills.
But the idea could also go south if a discussion topic gets heated and becomes divisive, and if people become too angry. That would not be good.
Some ground rules might be in order. Anyway, my .02.
Many people here are better educated than I am, but I read a lot and my minor was in history, so I can discuss a variety of topics. People are nice, but most are tied to one religion or another, while I’m a non-believer. “I don’t attend church” is a conversation killer in this part of the country. On the plus side, I’m very well-liked by the staff folks. It’s probably because I engage with them, joke with them, etc. In other words I treat them like fellow humans.
hey, I’m nowhere near retirement-home-age and have the same problem situation … Hearing other person’s POV and reasoning, challenging ones believes, being made aware of ones blind spots and every now and then getting kicked at the shin,
… and learn/benefit from much of the technical knowledge the collective members have here (aviation, EVs, dodecahedrons 
).
which - of course - is one of the reasons why I am here at SDMB !!! … a non-trivial part of my entire adult life (w/ different intensities) …
Sing it, baby! 
How much differently do you stock your kitchen? I think I will get tired of going out to dinner every day. (that usually means lunch to me) I am afraid I will get into a rut-having the same thing every day. The restaurant looks good enough but I want to be able to try new things there.
There is always take out/delivery these days of course.
TL;DR. Having someone else plan and prepare meals is nice. If you don’t feel like being social you can eat in your apartment, either a meal brought from the dining room, something you have cooked for yourself, or restaurant take-out. I am thoroughly satisfied with the food situation here.
We get one meal a day in the dining room. It’s things like Cobb salad, lasagna, taco salad, shrimp skewers, meatloaf, pizza, sort of like the rotation in a school cafeteria. There is always a salad and a cup of soup. Lunch is $6.00 and there are desserts for $3.00-- the desserts are outstanding. If you don’t want the main dish of the day, you can get a hamburger, grilled cheese, or cold sandwiches with regular fries, sweet potato fries, potato salad, macaroni salad. The alternative lunches might be more than $6.00-- I can’t remember. These charges are drawn against a $150/month allowance. At the end of the month the funds do not carry over, but you can donate to the homeless meal program at a nearby church. This isn’t actual money, so you can’t get refunds or anything. The meals are ample, generous, even. Many people halve the lunch and save the overage for dinner. No one goes hungry here.
Technically, we get breakfast every day, but it’s really just bagels/rolls or cereal and coffee and juice. (There’s a group of extroverts that meets for breakfast every day-- not my cup of tea.) On Fridays we do get a lovely, cooked breakfast, served buffet style, with several (not all) of the following: scrambled eggs or omelets, bacon, sausage, fried potatoes, pancakes, waffles, plain toast, cinnamon toast, hot cereal, mufffins. Juice, of course. And coffee is available at all times.
For the first few months I lived here, I didn’t buy any groceries at allto speak of. I bought coffee, milk/cream, bread for toast, but I didn’t keep a fully stocked kitchen (as “fully-stocked” as a kitchen can be for a household of one). I was dazzled by the novelty of somebody else having to plan, shop for, prepare, and clean up after my daily meal. Although I love to cook, it was a chore to come up with something every day.
But in the last six months, that novelty has kind of faded and I started to miss some of the things I used to cook for myself. I’ve used my Instant Pot a lot recently, and I keep my air fryer out on the counter and use it a lot, too. So to answer your question, lately I’ve been stocking my kitchen much the same way I did before I moved here.
There are no dining room meals on weekends. So I’ve been making something on Friday that I can eat over the weekend, soup or pot roast, or some kind of “hot dish” (hehe). That arrangement suits me.
Not sure what you mean by this. If by “going out” you mean having to put on clothes, go to a dining room, and eat with other people, you can get your meal to go and take it back to your apartment. Although you do have to put on clothes-- no pajamas or bathrobes out in public. At some residences, you can get the meal delivered to your room, but here we’re independent, so that’s not an option. You can ask a neighbor to pick up your lunch and bring it to you. Someone is always willing to do that. Some people do order Door Dash and other deliveries. One woman in my building in particular seems to get a lot of restaurant food delivered.
I’m not sure what you mean by this either. The main meal in the dining room changes every day, but there isn’t infinite variety, just like there isn’t in your own kitchen.
Happy to answer other questions. 
Blockquote
if given (miraculously) the chance to go back to your former living arrangement or staying where you are right now … which would you choose (and why) …
ps: thx for the follow up thread - always nice to read follow ups beyond the honeymoon-phase!
I know weekly exercise is mentioned in the OP.
Are you doing water aerobics? Weights? Physical Therapy bike?
I talk frequently with my friends about exercise and aging. It’s so crucial to keep core strength and walk frequently. Older people typically fall because they’ve gradually gotten weaker. Their core strength isn’t supporting their body.
I saw that happen with my mom. She never liked exercise. Her busy working life kept her reasonably fit. Her retirement years were much different. She rarely went out. Before long she got tired just walking around Sams Club. We kept her out of a nursing home for almost 15 years. It wasn’t easy keeping her from falling. She would lean on the walls instead of using a walker. She couldn’t walk to the bathroom the last year.
It’s not easy exercising anymore. More things hurt. I get frustrated at the cramping afterwards. I don’t lift heavy weights anymore. I focus on using exercise machines at the gym. Cardio.
I still hike, but only for a day. I wouldn’t risk another long backpacking trip. Eventually my hikes will be walking around the block.
I’ll exercise at some capacity for as long as I can. I guess water aerobics is in my future.