…your eyeballs WILL pop out if you sneeze with them wide open, despite me showing her this article, written by of course, our Perfect Master, Cecil Adams.
…her parents are the stupidest and naive people in the world.
…she’s the only one who’s right about everything.
…she’s in love. And she’s 15 years old.
Okay, maybe she is in love. I don’t know. I’m not her. But the way she talks about “being in love” with this guy in 11th grade (we’ll call him John) who she’s only known for less than a year is a bit unnerving for me. And my friend isn’t the kind of girl who “falls in love” with any ol’ guy. In fact, she thinks its “so evil and disgusting” that my other girl friends and I call random guys we see on the street “hot” (we don’t go up to the guy and say, “Hey you’re hot” or anything, but you know…). In fact, my friend doesn’t even drool over hot male celebrities! She thinks that’s disgusting, too. And over the four years that I’ve known her, she’s had a crush on a guy exactly twice.
It’s so uncomfortable for me to sit there and listen to her gush over John and be all melodramatic about him not showing any interest in her and how she used to think he liked her, but then she found out he was formerly interested in me, but not anymore and now she thinks that the world is a “cruel, painful and cold” place. I mean, yes, the world can be painful, but…we’re only 15. And she’s a Christian, so she drags God into a lot of things we talk about. This is what she said about God and how He’s concerned with John: “When I was a little girl, I made a list of all the qualities I wanted to see in the one for me. And now I realize that it’s like God took that list and made [John] just for me.” Then there was the time where she asked God to give her a sign with birdseeds…she asked him that if she had already found the one for her, then the seeds will be eaten before winter starts and they were eaten before winter started. Then there was that time where she told me, “I can’t imagine how I’ve lived my whole life without him. I don’t know how I managed to get this far in life without him.” (Yes, she really said. Those exact words.) Oh, and also? She’s soooo convinced that she knows him soooo well. He would say something in a conversation and she’d say, “I knew he’d say that! I know him soooo well.” And this has happened multiple times. And finally, there was the time last week when she told me she saw two girls in ninth grade saying goodbye to him (he was leaving for Hong Kong after exams) after our last exam was over. Then she proceeded to tell me that the two girls gave him a hug. So I said, “Why didn’t you give him a hug when you were saying goodbye?” And she replied, “Because I don’t think I would ever let go…” (Yes, those were her exact words, too.)
This is the kind of stuff she’d tell me about in every single conversation I have with her. And yes, she’s said, “I love him. He’s the one for me” in multiple conversations with me.
I hope I don’t seem insensitive. If she really is in love, then that’s great! She’s lucky to have found the guy so early in life. But, the way she talks about him is so uncomfortable for me. So, um, I kind of need your help, Dopers, in learning how to deal with this and keeping my sanity because this ranks up there right beside the whole Katie Holmes-Tom Cruise thing in my Uncomfort-O-Meter.
