My friend is convinced that...

It’s entirely possible - common, even - for teenagers to have intense feelings. The problem is, they don’t know how to manage them. The feelings are new to them; therefore, no one in the history of the world has ever been as much in love as they are.

That said, your friend sounds like a staggeringly self-centered, willfully ignorant piece of work. Why are you friends with her?

Och, she’s just a kid. Most kids are willfully ignorant and self-centered. She still has a lot of growing up to do.

Ten years from now, she’ll look back and shake her head with a laugh at how stupid she was. She’ll have trouble remembering Captian America’s name.

Kids have trouble seeing a future different from the present. Right now, she’s picturing always being friends with the girls around her, and growing up to marry one of the boys she knows. She has no idea that her entire world will change once she graduates.

Somebody remind me again of how girls mature so much faster than boys :rolleyes: .

Well, I found out that he’s got a semi-girlfriend in Hong Kong, where he’s spending his summer. The deal with him and her is that he likes her and she’s got a little crush on him so he said that he’s just going to let nature take its course with this relationship-that-might-be. And my friend, “Susie”, is fully aware of this because he told her about it.

And to answer Licentious Ectomorph’s question about why I’m her friend, it’s because she has no other friends. My other friends talk to her, but they really don’t like her. And Susie follows me around like a lost puppy all the time. It’s like a younger teen desperately trying too hard to be an older teen that he/she admires, if you know what I mean. Sometimes, I feel like Susie is trying to be herself and trying to be me at the same time. It’s just really bizarre. But, Susie is a really nice girl. It’s all this stuff about “being in love and he’s the one for me and God wants us to be together” stuff that makes me uneasy.

In most of my IM conversations with her, she says stuff like, “When I think about John, I can’t help but smile through my tears.” Yes, she really said that, too. And also “He makes me feel so complete.” I mean, yes, that’s very nice to know, but my other friend has been with her boyfriend for nearly 9 months (an awesome feat in my school) and I’m very good friends with both of them and they’ve never said anything like that to me.

And with Susie, she’s so strong in her faith that God is the only one that’s really making her stand her ground on this.

dd007, you’re 15, too, right? And you’re already getting annoyed with the drama queens around you? For what it’s worth, thanks for apparently having your head screwed on the right way. You seem like good people.

In case you missed it, our own dare_devil007_ is a pro at this sort of thing.

… Even if her spelling is too good for a 15-year-old.

(you’re still my hero, d)

As a Christian former crushified teenager, I can say that this girl is in a stage.

I hope.

Some people don’t really grow out of being shallow, but the odds are that you’ll laugh with her about this in, oh, 8-10 years. I know that seems like a very long time right now, but it should happen, and sometimes very quickly.

My brother was slowly becoming someone I didn’t want to smack all the time, and then he almost completely changed that part inside a year. Of course, going into the army helped a lot.

I really hope she’s in a stage. I am aware that some teenagers do fall in love, like John Carter said. But she seriously thinks John is the one for her. I’ve never heard of a teenager saying that about somebody else, that God has “ordained it for them to be together forever, marry and procreate.” That’s just…unsettling…The guy is starting a relationship with another girl half-way across the world right now.

Oh, I should also mention that Susie told me about this online quiz thingy. Apparently, you were given a bunch of colours and then you had to write the name of a person that each colour reminded you of. So, for one of them, she wrote John and at the end, it said, “The person you chose for this colour is your soulmate.” Then, she proceeded to cry and tell me how John will never notice her, but she still loves him and God wants them to be together. :dubious:

Yeah, that sounds like 15 all right. Kudos to you for sticking by her even though she annoys the heck out of you. Dunno what I can suggest for getting her to shut up, so I’m just going to second (or third or fourth) Susan’s idea. Plus it sounds like so much fun. Your friend will grow out of this eventually. Between your friends and your friends’ friends, it sounds like you have a drama overload. If only you were an self-absorbed drama-queen of a teenager too, you wouldn’t find it nearly so annoying. So really it’s your own fault for being more mature than any 15-year-old has a right to be. :wink:

My experience is on the male side of things, so take this with a grain of salt: tunnel-vision crushes like these often crash and burn. Even if John likes your friend at this point, the whole “God has ordained it” thing is going to drive him away very, very quickly once your friend tells him this. And from the look of things, she will.

I’ve seen more than a couple of people latch on to anyone who pays them any attention at all - the way she appears to have latched on to you, and now to this John fellow.

Want to help her? Use your social leverage. Introduce her to other friends, and through them she’ll hopefully meet other guys and be rid of this silly infatuation.

Weird One, I can be a drama queen sometimes…I think. Stark, I tried getting her to talk to other people (especially other guys I know), but it doesn’t seem to be working. But I’ll keep trying. I told her to tell John about it, but she wants him to “fall in love with her so he can make the first move because that’s how it’s supposed to be.” Again: :dubious: :confused: Huh??

Susan, you’re my hero, too. I love you. In a purely platonic way, of course. :smiley:

Cardinal, do you think I should convince Susie’s parents to send her to the army then?!

I know you didn’t ask me but…see if you can get her to become a nun. Tell her she should fall in love with Jesus instead.

It appears we know the same people, dare_devil007_. About five months ago this one girl named Christina was “seriously dating” a boy named Ben. She went on and on about how she would just die without him and how he’s the only one for her.
Fast forward five months.
Now it’s this boy named Ricky. She goes on and on about how she would just die without him and how he’s the only one for her.
Thank Og she’s not my friend anymore.

Just hang in there, dare_devil007_. She’ll get over him eventually, sob on your shoulder for a month or so, talk about how she’ll die, then find another guy.
If you’re lucky.

Well, she’s already so hung up on God, anyways, I don’t think there’s much effort involved in getting that arranged.

Hah. I don’t think I ever attributed it to God or offered my list to God, but I did make a list of everything I wanted in a guy. And when I was 16 (17?), I got it. I mean, the perfect guy and I started dating. He was everything a girl could want, and it was as if someone took that list and made him just for me. To teach me a lesson. That lesson being, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

Your friend sounds perfectly normal to me; that is, she sounds like me and my friends when we were that age (except for the religiosity). So hang in there; she may shape up to be a good friend when she grows into herself.

“You know, God made you just for me. I know because of the bird seed.”
“Interesting. I’ll just be over here where it’s not so weird.”

Tell me, how does your friend feel about God’s will being thwarted by some chippy in Hong Kong? Isn’t she worried about John getting smited? What if he kisses this girl? THERE COULD BE SERIOUS RELIGIOUS REPERCUSSIONS!! You should warn him. Seriously.

Ha ha ha! If he did say that, I’d love him too. :smiley:

Well, when he first told me about his girlfriend (then he told Susie), I asked her how she felt about it. And of course, her reply was, “Oh, I know him. He’ll break up with her when he leaves Hong Kong to come back to school and then everything will be back to normal.” Then, I said, “Um…well, how do you know they’re going to break up? I mean, high school long-distance relationships have a minimal chance of working, but what if he still has feelings for her after?” And it took her a bit to think about that. Then she said, “Well, God wants us to be together, so this is just a lesson teaching me to be patient.”


Well, of course. Makes perfect sense now.

Y’know, I have a standard reply when people like this start blathering on. I flail my arms a little bit, and look as if I’m about to fall. When they give me a look, I just say “Sorry, had to catch my balance while the world started to revolve around you.”