Is “45 Year Old 8 Year Old” too long? I think it sounds good.
f/won’t stop
f/can’t stop 'til I Get Enough
Also covers the legal starting point for some of your political concerns.
That 70s Chick
Ban The DH
Granola Zombie
Groove Thang
Nolan Ryan Groupie
Julia Is A Child
Based on the thread title, the only suggestion I have to offer is: faithfool’s Friend.
While I totally sympathize with the sentiment, I fail to see how that name would suggest itself from the list of attributes she gave us (especially considering that she roots for an AL team).
:smack:
Too late to edit now. Make that faithfool’s “Friend”.
Egads! Whatever you don’t take advice from me.
Because I kind of like “Egads!” although the modern spelling for that name would be “eGads.”
The DH started in the 70s. Dat’s it.
dancingonrainbowswearinggreencoloredlenses - short and sweet.
All of these are absolutely great, and for some, I’m laughing my head off. I’ll give it some more time, then I’ll figure out which one is the absolutest most me. 
But I do wonder how it got around that I’m an Alice Cooper fan? And here I thought I kept that on the down low. 
PS. John, no worries, hon. I’ll always be a fool at heart.
Pet Rock Whisperer
Zombies in the Mist
Brain Eater
Brain Gourmet
Towering Inferno
Fidel Jestro
Dammit Janet.
Platform Shoe
High Hard One
Chin Music
Verde
Line Drive
Pixels
Green Chili
YGroUp
Green Curry
Grass Stain
Glibbit
Pickoff
Jimmy Carter’s Rabbit
Sorry, it may have been just me, you did tell me that you’re an Alice fan. 
Alice in Daisy Chains
Faithing to black
Burroughs Pops to Short.