nightrabbit
I am tall (to the point I need to buy special pants as reg pants don’t fit) I cannot change that - I tend to wear flats most of the time to compinsate which is a pain cause most shoes are made with height added. I know the pain of apparel, how often do I complain about it? Um not so much. I take more effort to find the items I need (like formal flat shoes) than most people and I dont really like to shop. so? This is not news to me nor will it change.
When I get along great with a guy and I really start to like him and then find out that he doens’t like my height, duh.
who is so fucking hot as to not know that rejection on a quality of which you cannot change.
I don’t spend any time worrying about these things of which I cannot change.
Same goes when I am told (by other races - cause I am white) that the cowboy I work with is raciest.
I am glad the assholes let us know who they are so I don’t waste any time on them.
Of course no one would suggest the black person go white (ala micheal jackson) and of course most folk would agree that the bigot is the one with the problem.
IMO very few people are born fat, again very few people work at getting fat, I believe that most fat people get fat by not caring enough (cause for some it is an all day effort) to work hard at keeping the weight off.
To this my attitude is very surely, if you make your bed you may have the pleasure of lying in it.
we all have problems, fat, like age, is relative.
The fattest woman in my office would be happy to be midsized like another woman in my office, who wishes she were my size, and of course I am always working on my weight.
I would go back and quote, but the combined slow-boards-ness and my crappy-computer-ness makes that an arduous task for which I have neither the energy nor patience at the moment. 
Someone said something about the “naturally fast metabolisers” also being in constant motion, having lots of energy, being “leg-wigglers” and whatnot … well, that’s not necessarily indicative of anything, I have to say.
As I said before, I’m overweight, been struggling with it for years, been overcoming it recently and I’ve made diet changes that I think I can stick with for the rest of my life with no problem. (Honestly when you’re on a “diet” that “allows” you to eat spicy thai turkey stir-fry, it’s hard to complain grin … it certainly helps that I can cook … but anyway…) Anyway, as I was saying, I’m still fat …
… and I wiggle constantly. Have done so all my life, when skinny and when fat. Can’t sit still. Always jiggling a leg, rocking around in my chair, fidgeting my fingers, tapping my feet, etc. I work an office job and I probably annoy the people next to me to no end with my foot-tapping leg-wiggling finger-twitching antics. Not to mention I have a lot of energy, I am now and have been for 7+ years a medieval dance instructor, I belly-dance and flamenco, we’re talking seriously high-energy stuff; people refer to me as the “perpetual motion machine” because I can outlast just about anyone on the dance floor, even with the excess weight. So it’s certainly not that fast-metabolising people get more “exercise” or are constantly burning off their calories by this fidgeting, because I do it nonstop (wiggling my feet right now in fact) and it don’t work for me 
Seriously, there are just some factors to one’s weight that we cannot currently understand or isolate. There’s a wealth of nutritional information out there, and some of it works for some people, while some of it doesn’t, and some other stuff that sounds inane to others may just work for you. It’s hard - I’d almost say impossible - to wade through all this information alone and know instantaneously what kind of eating plan is going to help you manage your weight. You need someone with serious knowledge to guide you through. I’ve just been guessing, and I’ve been doing well so far (bought a pair of pants 2 sizes smaller than all my others just last week, they fit, they’re comfortable, w00t!), but I don’t have the vaguest idea why it’s working or if there’s a way I can make it more efficient. Though I certainly recommend what’s worked for me - making sure any vegetables in a meal outnumber/outweigh the carbs and proteins in the same meal, and eating lots of fruit. Yummy diet Hell, everyone I know envies the food I eat …
Pardon the ramble, I just crawled out of bed and gotta run to work …
Will all due respect Biggirl to point to a sandwich like this
and complain that dieting is difficult (no question about it) because you would gain weight on just “One a day and nothing else” of these heart clogging monsters is not a revelation. Most female human beings and healthy proportion of males) on the planet would also gain weight snarfing down one of these beasts as the single meal of the day.
I have a somewhat slow metabolism like many overweight people do, and I burn calories at around a base rate of about 10-11 calories per lb of body weight daily and I could support 240-260 lbs of body weight just eating one of those beasts daily and nothing else.
I think part of the problem might be that you are looking at this sandwhich (at least it seems that way) as just a good nosh when in fact it is an Armada of fat and calories. Think about the soups, salads, lean meat and veggies etc .you could cram into 2600 calories.
** It was to WV Woman and red dragon.. WV had a one simuliar one for lunch. Everyone I show my “points” book is absolutely, fucking astonded.
Are you saying it isn’t hard to lose weight? People are getting their stomach stapled because they cannot lose weight. And both the people getting the surgery and those who look down on the overweight seem to think that gastic bypass surgery is the easy way out.
If you can go to Schlotzsky’s and eat one fucking sandwich that’ll make you fat, then it is my conclusion that it is not too hard to get fat. And the fact that this is a revelation to many brings me to the conclusion that it ain’t that easy to lose weight. In many cases it’s damned near impossible.
CFC wants to blame the rest of the world for his/her crappy decisions on diet?
What a ding-bat/battess.
I’m 6’7". Should a manufacturer be forced to build a vehicle that I “feel comfortable” in? What a crock.
STEP AWAY FROM THE BUFFET! WE"RE ARMED AND slim!
Oh good, and I thought this thread was about to die.
Hate to tell you, but sometimes no matter how much we diet or exercise, some of us will have extra pounds where we don’t want it. My mom, when she left for college, was 5’1" and weighed 85 pounds, which I’m sure doesn’t fit any reasonable person’s standard of fat. She STILL had chunky thighs. I’ve seen pictures of her from that period, and you couuld see her ribs sticking out, but her thighs were probably as big around as her waist.
OK, so she wasn’t much of an athlete. I have a very similar build, though (she is my mom, after all), and though I wouldn’t mind losing 10-15 pounds now, I am by no means obese. Even when I was 21, though, was at ideal weight for my height, and played soccer 3 nights a week for 2-3 hours, plus biking or walking everywhere for transportation, and followed an extremely healthy-nearly vegetarian diet with extremely low blood pressure and cholesterol, I still had big thighs. The jury still may be out in the medical world, but I firmly believe that genetics plays a substantial role in weight.
C4C, if God has told you not to adopt, maybe it’s because He is going to give you a child of your own.
shrug He did it for Sarah And Hannah
symplicity… (don’t you think I’m picking on you, now )
I’m not saying that people are exempt from the reactions of society nor that there shouldn’t be norms of society that might impose some inconvenience on those who differ from those norms (in weight or height, as in your example). Inconvenience, however, does NOT equate to prejudice or stereotype.
But your comment “if you make your bed you may have the pleasure of lying in it” smacks of a “just desserts” sort of rationalization… forgive me to reiterate what I said before, but that sounds just like a dismissal of the problem in favor of a dismissal to the person, similar to a “well, if they were stupid enough to have unprotected sex, they should take anything that comes with it” statement.
Let me say it again- just because someone may have had retroactive control over a situation doesn’t mean that the certain person “deserves” whatever negative results follow. Some people don’t mind being fat, internally- they just dislike the reactions that people have to their weight. “Stop complaining and lose weight” is hardly a suitable response.
(…unless, of course, you don’t think people should be allowed to complain about anything… which is, of course, a different debate.)
Lola wrote:
You know, just because you don’t understand her personal religious reasons, it doesn’t mean it’s polite to do a “rolleyes” at her. It’s pretty impolite. Just don’t understand it. That’s fine. But don’t be rude.
I know this thread is now 5 pages, but really, you have missed a few obvious points.
The OP is female. I think the frequent mention of a husband and also the mention of wanting to get pregnant should have been a tip-off.
I think what the OP wants (and many of us want) is to “feel comfortable” being able to go outside and not get insulted, glared at, sneered at, and treated like shit. We are not asking for “special treatment” here, just the ordinary treatment most other people enjoy—not being insulted by strangers (and sometimes relatives/friends) while we are minding our own business.
And, going back to mouthbreather’s (and other people’s) contention that it is up to us to “do something about it”, because people will be assholes, and we can’t expect them to change their behavior (i.e. refrain from acting like jerks).
This attitude is absurd. The people who are behaving like boors should be expected to change, not their “victims”. An example from my life: since I was 13, I’ve had big boobs. I’ve been leered at, stared at like my breasts are on fire, and even groped once, against my will. Crude comments are made.
Now, I could “do something about” this behavior, by changing myself. I mean, there are a lot of options for me. I guess I could get breast reduction surgery. Or, I could wear huge baggy clothes to cover my breasts, but then I’d look 6 months pregnant all the time. I guess I could bind my breasts so they’d lie flat. So, should it be my obligation to change the way I appear? I mean, I could do that, and then maybe some of the inappropriate treatment could stop. So, I guess because I don’t do any of these things, I should stop bellyaching when I am stared at and treated rudely. Because, you know, I certainly can’t expect other people to behave decently. That’s beyond unreasonable. :rolleyes:
nightrabbit - I don’t feel picked on, you are simply addressing me as I am doing in return. (that is nice that you made it clear as not everything posted is).
I sure hope that I understand your points cause if you are repeating you must feel I am not getting them, sorry for this.
just desserts, people being dismissed because their problem seems dismissive. I think you are taking the dismissal too far? It is the problem, not the person. There are very few human mifits/mistakes and I have faith in our media that most people hear about them. I don’t dismiss people, but some complaints and problems - uh huh.
retroactive control, because someone has (some) control over themselves and they don’t (wear a condom?) use it effectively and become fat (comparable to stds?) they didn’t Deserve the negative result. hmm, didn’t deserve the fat or the negative feedback from society (though hardly all of society)? I am not sure of this one.
I hope I haven’t said lose the weight and stop complaining cause I don’t think complaining is reserved for fat people. I think more on the lines of stop complaining OR lose the weight.
There really isn’t a subject that can be substituted for a discussion of obesity. Surely you cannot say race, clothing style, smoking, or even being big chested are comparable to being obese.
So it is hard for me to understand the condom point, I am the first one to be aware that I can be slow at times but most who know me do consider me smart. Sorry if I am missing your points.
YosemiteBabe - I do think anyone who makes rude comments/gestures/or dares to touch you for any reason is totally wrong. I feel very strongly about that. However, I do think that your situation is different from someone who is just obese as the type of attention/feedback/feelings you get from people may also have a negative connotation to them (guys loving them, maybe even assuming you wish for some attention because of them, women thinking less of you because you have this obvious quality that men respond to, you know the responses much better than I), it is still not the same as obesity.
TV just now was showing an informercial of fat people who had lost weight thanks to some miracle patch. The now thin people were SO freaking happy to have gotten this much weight off SO easily!!
One of the biggest points Each person seemed to make when discussing how the patch worked for them was how much this patch surpressed their appitite. What a difference it made to be able to eat one piece of pizza instead of four!!!
There people who are fat that parade around telling the world they are happy being fat.
There are people who are fat that tell others the pain of being fat and why people should lose their extra weight.
Now if someone who is not fat tells someone who is that they should lose weight, there is no patience for this as skinny has No Idea of what they are speaking of. Skinny person is stupid.
Hypocritical, only the obese is allowed to say lose weight, it is so much better to be skinny. The obese or former obese are the only ones allowed to make such statements because they truly know how hard the weight (loss) is.
I say be upset that there are fat people that talk up how glorious it is too lose so much weight.
my final point is that yes, I do believe spending time complaining and hating something is wasted.
Then we are in total agreement then.
Oh dear, there’s always a “however”, isn’t there?
No, it’s not the SAME, because it’s…NOT THE SAME. I mean, nothing is exactly SAME, is it? But it is similar enough. My breast size may not be my exact choice, but how I show my breasts to the world sure is. I haven’t had breast reduction surgery, and that clearly is an option open to me. While I don’t wear low-cut revealing clothes, I don’t hide under voluminous clothing either. That is a conscious choice. I don’t wear a “minimizer” bra either, which would reduce the appearance of my breasts (I don’t think such bras are comfortable).
When I was slimmer (I’m about a size 18-20 now) I wore my shirts tucked in, showing off my waistline, and therefore, my boobs. (I felt that I looked slimmer with my shirts tucked in.) I was in a Catch-22: Wear baggier clothes, and look fatter (and get more shit for that) or wear more slimming clothing styles, (which will also not hide my boobs), and get more shit for having big boobs. Which do you think I should have done? No matter what, I’m going to get unappreciated and inappropriate treatment.
As has already been established, not all fat people are fat because they sit around eating all day, they may have a medical reason for being fat. They are not that much different than me and my big breasts—I didn’t create my big breasts at will, they just came with my body. Same with a lot of fat people. But, I CAN do something about my big breasts. I can have them reduced through surgery. I can strap them down. I CAN do something (usually invasive or uncomfortable) and yet I don’t. Same with some fat people. They can have surgery and lose weight that way. They can almost starve themselves, be miserable all the time, and lose weight that way. But they choose not to, just like I choose not to have surgery on my breasts.
So, I think there are a lot of similarities between the two things. We both can do something to change our situation, to change ourselves. And then maybe the inappropriate treatment will stop. But the question is, why SHOULD we have to be the ones to change? We are not the ones going out of our way to be rude, offensive and insulting. We are not behaving like jackasses. The other people are. Easier for them to grow up and learn how to behave like decent human beings, than for us to have surgery. Don’t you think?
And you believe every line you ever heard on infomercials? That’s scary.
There’s always value in hearing from someone who has “been there, done that”. It’s fine for a former fat person to say how they feel better/can run longer/go up stairs/etc. now that they’ve lost weight. These are actually good reasons to lose weight. And it is human nature to be receptive to this kind of information from someone who has “been there, done that”, as opposed to someone who really has no clue as to what a struggle it all can be.
It’s NOT OK for a fat or skinny person to act as if being fat is something the deserves cruel treatment. It is NOT OK for anyone to imply that if you are fat, you are less worthy, weak, stupid, lazy. It is NOT OK to be “holier than thou” with anyone else like that. It is NOT OK to go up to a fat person on the street and insult them.
I’ll never stop complaining about how people treat other people like SHIT. No, I’ll never let that roll off my back as if it is nothing.
I’d like to note something about the way we fat folks are treated.
I am presently almost 100 pounds heavier now and in the past 5 years than I was for most of my life. I used to range between 50 and 100 pounds overweight (190-240). In the past 5 years I’ve weight 295 - 330.
However, in the past 5 years, actually more like 8 or so, I’ve also experienced a near total lack of fat-related rudeness, whereas I used to get it all the time when I was younger. I honestly cannot remember the last time someone made a rude remark to me, yet I fatter than ever before. Why would this be?
In the same period of time that I have both become even fatter and experienced less derision and rudeness, one other thing has also changed: the way I feel about myself. Via age, life changes, and therapy, I’ve gotten very comfortable with who I am. I’m not proud or thrilled with how fat I am, but neither have I let it define me. I have internalized completely the fact (and it is a fact) that anyone who thinks less of me because of my weight challenges is the one with the problem, not me.
I believe that I radiate this confidence and self-worth, and as a result, I present less of a target.
It is subliminal, but I think we communicate how we feel about ourselves in non-verbal ways, and the sort of assholes that would be mean to anyone for theri weight are going to target the weak, the way all bullies do. So if one feels less than, unworthy, ashamed, it’s not hard to tell. And it is like hanging a “kick me” sign around your neck. People will.
Love yourself. Disconnect from the judgment of people who don’t deserve to have their judgment respected. And I think you’ll find yourself less abused.
You’re right about that. One of the good things about being exiled in Hooterville is that there are a lot of fatter people here. (It’s a “fat” city.) I have decided that I am not going to take it anymore. And it’s not as bad as it used to be.
But that doesn’t mean that people aren’t shitheads, and that doesn’t mean that the assholes should get a free pass, and be allowed to feel justified in their attitudes.
I don’t want to talk about your breasts, that just isn’t the subject. It seems to be hard enough to discuss obesity and I have no desires to put another subject within.
No one should attempt to make another person feel bad.
The reason I got in this topic is cause I thought that people wanted to complain about life as a fat person. Really I am not sure what strikes a nerve with me there cause I am not sure if it is about one simple thing, rude people, being fat, complaining, or if it is something more, or all of the above.
Rude people - again, don’t care for them but I will listen to their opinions.
being fat - physical trait and sometimes it can be a physical handicap and even a mental one at times for some.
complaining - best stated by yosemitebabe
by all means, have at it and I will attempt to not get into that.
It’s simple. It’s mostly about the rude people. Trust me on this one. It’s hard enough dealing with your own issues, without having strangers (and friends) shitting on you all the time.
It’s not just a fat issue, it’s a human nature thing, I guess. Some people are bullies, or they can only feel good about themselves at the expense of someone else. It shouldn’t be tolerated. We WILL complain about it.
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Why was this marketed as a children’s book? I read all of Montgomery’s books, at least those that the library had which was about 90% of her works, when I was twelve or so, and remember being puzzled by the book. The story I understood, but it’s placement in the children’s section I didn’t get.
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Geez, Elfkin, you bumped this just so you could ask that? You couldn’t maybe, like, I dunno, here’s a crazy idea, start a new thread in Cafe Society? No, that would have been too obvious…
And it’s a hijack, too, it’s not even on topic. This must win some kind of prize for “Most Pointless Bump”, I dunno what, maybe a Sigmund Freud Action Figure…
<< hands over prize and wanders off >>
Not to mention that being fat is its own medical condition. When I was thin I could ride my bike for 2 hours no problem. Now I’m out of breath at the top of the stairs. My knees hurt so bad that I sometimes have to use the scooter at the grocery store.
I belong to a gym, but most of the things to do there cause so much pain that I can’t do them. I do 20 minutes on the eliptical thingie, which is supposed to be good for your knees, then I’m in bed for 3 days with knees the size of watermelons.
And those fit people who say “just exercise” … I challenge you to strap on 130lbs and do your exercise routine. Now commit to doing that every day. Now consider that you’re ALREADY IN SHAPE and imagine starting there froms scratch. It isn’t as easy as people seem to think.
About the only thing I can do at the gym is yoga and water aerobics. Neither of which are big fat burners.
Opalcat, you are being a whineypants. My obese boyfriend, who had never exercised in his life, started Weight Watchers and began walking. From walking, he went to running. From running, he went to weights. In 6 months, he has lost 55 pounds. If he would just reduce his alcohol intake, his weight loss curve would increase.
Doing anything is better than doing nothing. And ANYTHING is better than whining.