My mayor wants me to be nice when I insult people

The mayor of my city wants me to be nice to people now, even when I’m insulting them. Oh well, here goes:

David B, you are a practicing homo sapiens!!

For most of you guys: may you turn gynosexual!!

for most of you women: may you…may all of you become like your mothers!!

Oh, this is so lame…

I think capacitor’s just a pussy. (No offense to the female body)

Sorry, but it is the pit after all. (I would do a smiley here, but again, it is the pit)

Why in the hell do you say that, you, you ice-cream licker!!

Oh no, not again.

You’re all a bunch of pheasant-plucking dirhinous bipeds who wouldn’t know an access conduit from a hole in the ground.

To you matt, you were born because, because your mother had sex!!

Aww man…

capacitor said:

Well, capacitor, I heard your mother was a thesbian. People who live in stone house shouldn’t throw glasses.

And you, MysterEcks, are poorly trained in grammatical skills.

Someone please shoot me, I insulted based on grammatical errors.

:: Shick, Shick - takes careful aim ::

BOOM!

May all your neighbors one day admire your lush, carefully groomed lawn that was grown 100% organically (without use of harsh chemicals and pesticides).

This reminds me of my youth, when I and my two older brothers would tease my baby brother with the sing-songy:

“Brian’s got a brai-n,
Brian’s got a brai-n.”

We’d do it till he’d run to my Mom crying and say, “Mom, tell them I don’t have a brain.”

Ah, brotherly love.

ahhh. San Francisco. We never have to worry about our Mayor urging people to be nicer. This is the man who called Elvis Grbac a “disgrace to humanity” the day after Elvis’ father died. He’s also far more entertaining than most mayors.

**Oldscratch ** please don’t take offense, but your post was so off target I feel a compulsion to insult you.

You are so intellectually challenged that you missed one or two of the logical inconsistencies in Plato’s Republic !!

I hope that didn’t harm your self-esteem too greatly. If it did, I apologize.

V.

How dare you Suasponte. You have me so livid I can’t even be bothered to capitalize the second S in your name. May your mother be an old woman who has had sex with one or more men, and may your father have been the man who impregnated your mother.

oldscratch!

Such language! I’ll be your mother bakes excellent cookies.

Monster104 said:

Ha! You got it wrong, you doofus! I’m not poorly trained in grammatical skills; I’m a poor typist! I’ll bet you feel dumb now!

Happy to. <pulls out .45> Stand still for a second.

BigJoe said (to oldscratch):

{Major insult coming}

You don’t type any better than I do!

(It’s gettin’ vicious in here.)

Uuuuuugh! I’m so mad I could just spit.

:: yanks off boxing gloves ::

MysterEcks, your father was a fine upstanding professional, respected by the community, who always made time for your little league games.

So there! :stuck_out_tongue:

Capacitor… you wouldn’t happen to live in the Quad-Cities, would you?

Hey Capacitor! Are you the same “Capacitor” that posts to the Peavey Electronics MB? From Johnboy (has a Rickenbacher
and an Alembic (but doesn’t play them anymore [no one want’s to hear])

BigJoe said:

Grrr…ruin my family’s reputation, will you…that’s it, no more Myster Nyce Guy…

I have it on good authority that you’ve been caught CONTRIBUTING TO CHARITY!

You people better be more careful with what you say. Somebody might have misplaced his dictionary and be offended. Not that there is anything wrong with misplacing one’s dictionary. And I certainly would not consider it a character flaw nor an indication of low intelligence. Not like, say, bad typing.

Booting dropzone’s ass into Ci-Jovian orbit.

MR ECKS! I’ve ALWAYS wasted my funds on strong drink and loose women, and I dare you to prove otherwise, Sir!

:: huffing and puffing and generally tired ::