My moral dilemma

Yes, I know that I have a girlfriend. Yes, I know that Stephanie has a boyfriend. Yes, I know I’m old enough to be her, uh, somewhat older brother. But she’s just so darn sexy! I mean, total babe! I’d like to think that in some bizarro universe, I could, you know… What’s the romantic word for it? Oh yeah–boink her like a pincushion.

So in the interests of assisting the damn near impossible, I try to be nice to her. I don’t want to piss her off or humiliate her.

What makes this difficult is that now she has discovered the joys of using work e-mail to send the entire department forwarded urban legends. The urge to “reply to all” with a bunch of snopes links is overwhelming. She just sent one that must have at least 30 seperate legends, beginning with the Rule of Thumb one and including such winners as the origins of “honeymoon” and “P’s and Q’s.” Here’s one that I’d never heard before, but it’s so stupid it’s not even worth looking up on snopes:


Stephanie, you have beautiful blonde hair. Really, really blonde.

Why don’t you go try, anyway? I didn’t have any luck with it.

Oh, and what’s your moral dilemma?

Hit it, Sancho! And just delete the emails.

Taking advantage of the feeble minded.

Interesting way of looking at it, but no.

The dilemma is whether the pleasure of thinking I stand a snowball’s chance in hell with this girl outweighs the pleasure of debunking a moronic e-mail. And alienating her in the process.

  1. you’ve got a girlfriend.
  2. she has a boyfriend.
  3. the fantasy is all in your own head.
  4. unless you are going to try to make it a reality, what is the point of deluding yourself?
  5. I believe your membership here requires you to fight ignorance. Sometimes at high personal cost and self sacrifice. Teaming Millions are counting on you.

{bolding mine}
:smiley: - as a matter of fact, there is a DoperBall game going on.

Interesting moral dilemma. So, you point out that she’s stupid, and you’re out of the running completely, whereas you’re just mostly out of the running now. On the other hand, do you really want to sleep with a stupid person just because she has pretty blonde hair? How will you respect yourself in the morning?

Yeah, honestly, if she’s sending these emails and that bothers you, then I don’t think you should think of her as desireable.

Things might be different if the facts QuickSilver lists were different. You are both attached. This is not necessarily an impediment in my opinion, but given that she diplays a level of ignorance that you find grating, I think your attraction is probably unrealistic fantasy.

Just my 2 cents.

Is this a trick question?

Does the Pope shit in the woods? Is a bear Catholic?

Of COURSE I want to sleep with with her! And I don’t care if she’s stupid. I’m not shallow. I don’t judge women by their brains. I judge them by important things. Like boobies. :smiley:

Actually, she doesn’t strike me as stupid at all. Which is why I’m a little surpised she forwarding these things.

Well, let’s see, she’s 20 years younger than me, a blonde bombshell, and attached. What do you mean “unrealistic”? :dubious:

But, but…what about faraway people who only know you from the internet and are engaged anyway and that will never meet you, but kind of like you? How can you do this to them?

Not that I, er, ah, know of any. What I mean to say is…be nice to the girl. Maybe somebody else’ll Snopes her.

Debunk, I say!

So, debunking it is.

How you doin’?

:o <-----------me getting ready to kiss you

How about this:
List the spurious points in the e-mail in this thread. We’ll do the debunking, item for item. Set yourself up a nice anonymous Hotmail account, and mail the compiled debunking to everyone that received the original list. Everyone gets an edamucation, you appear to be in the clear, the girl gets the idea that maybe these e-mails don’t contain all the knowledge in the universe, and life goes on as before. Maybe.

Debunking is way more gratifying than boinking someone you have to debunk, in my opinion.

Boink, then debunk. Best of both worlds, and if she gets offended at being debunked, at least you got the boink out of the way first.

There’s probably some kind of witty rejoinder to be made here, but damned if I can think of it. I’m just sitting here grinning like a fool! :o ahem Debunking, you say?

Stephanie who? :wink:

Here’s the text of the e-mail, if y’all want to take potshots at it:

In the 1400’s a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have “the rule of thumb”

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled “Gentlemen Only…Ladies Forbidden”…and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this…)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration ofIndependenceon July 4th, John Hancock andCharlesThomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter “A”?

A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?

A. Honey

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father’s Day

In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase… “goodnight, sleep tight.”

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month . which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them “Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.”

It’s where we get the phrase “mind your P’s and Q’s”

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the phrase inspired

by this practice.

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow 

Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can
read it. 
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty 
waht I was 
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to
rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the
ltteers in a wrod are, 
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat
ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can
sitll raed it wouthit a
porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not
raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh

No it’s not, I just did it.