Should I help these two people?

So I am going though my spam folder and I see these two emails.
First is this one:
**From: Audra P. Clinton
Subject:My boyfriend’s penis keeps slipping out. **

And next we have:
From: Wendy
Subject: My boyfriend’s putz is too big for my mouth.

Should I forward Audra’s e mail to Wendy and vice versa and suggest they switch boyfriends?
Seems like a win-win scenario to me. :smiley:

Hey! They write me all the time too! I also get one from “Robert” who says I can please her with my new Mega Dik.


Sounds like the wisdom of Solomn to me.

Rick, is there anyone you’re not a friend to?


I have never “slipped out” nor has any woman lacked sufficient oral volume (aka: headspace) to accommodate me to our mutual satisfaction.

Give these ladies my contact information.

Anaamika If you respond to that ad, it will mean you can never be my girlfriend. See I responded to a Gigantic Dik ad, and I refuse to have a girlfriend that has a dik bigger than my gigantic dik.

Lieu That reminds me of the story a coworker of mine told at my retirement party.
Two nuns died and went to heaven. When they got to the pearly gates, St Peter told them that due to construction, it would be 3 days before they could come in. As a consolation, he offered them a chance to go back to earth and do anything they wanted to for the 3 days. Any type of sin would be perfectly fine, and not held against them.
The first nun said that she had heard many people talk about getting drunk and using drugs, and she would like to experience that. St. Peter says “OK” and poof she is gone.
The second nun says that she wants to go back and experience sex. St. Peter asks “With who would you like to experience it with?”
“Rick from the Straight Dope Message Board” was her reply
Puzzled, St. Peter says "Are you sure? I would have thought you would have picked Brad Pitt, or Daniel Craig, why this Rick guy?
“Well”, the nun replied, “I’m not sure. It’s like this, I had several members of my church that belonged to the SDMB and whenever they spoke about Rick they always said “FUCK Rick” so I am guessing he must be a great lover.”

Inigo be very careful what you ask for my friend, be very careful.

Is that like a Water Pik?

You guys are making me <snerk> at work and my coworker is asking me what’s so funny?

Rick, a girlfriend with a dik smaller than your gigantic dik would be OK, though?

No, no! Water Piks are to prevent cavities.

I tried the Meg a dik “and now my tool is badly preponderant than civil.”
Ain’t Spam a hoot!?

Don’t you mean mecha-dick?

She said she wouldn’t tell!!

Would you like Wendy’s e mail? :smiley:

How **you **doin’? :wink:

That did so not go where I thought it was going. I thought it was going to be a variation of the joke where the punchline is “There is no way I’m gargling with that holy water after Sister Theresa has been sitting in it!”

Imagine my surprise when I was repeatedly informed that I could only (and I’m paraphrasing because spamfilter destroyed them :frowning: ) please my woman by increasing my ejakulate. I’ve gone so long without knowing that “ladies want it by the bucket”

Alas, woe is me. Why wasn’t this covered in school?

What, no love for my gigantic dik? :frowning:

I get those too. Here are some funny ones from today. Also, one of these e-mails is not like the other ones. Can you spot which one?

From: “Tamika M. Haywood”
Subject: My boyfriend’s shaft is too big for my mouth.
Date: Wed, 22 Aug 2007 22:12:33 -0400
To: “Glenna H. Feldman” “my email”

Chicks always hee-hawed at me and even men did in the urban lavatory!
Well, now I laugh at them, because I took M_E_G. ADI. K
for 3 months and now my peter is extremely longer than world.
shop (link deleted)

West Indies’ innings therefore was delayed until today.
1896 - Ethiopia defeated Italy in the Battle of Adowa,

  1. Bragging or boasting, especially in a false manner
    and students sent home.
    of events happening."

From: “Lola I. Donnelly”
Subject: My boyfriend’s shaft keeps slipping out.
Date: Wed, 22 Aug 2007 19:15:24 +0400
To: “Chelsea V. Burrell”

Ladies always whizgiggled at me and even boys did in the not private WC!
Well, now I whizgiggle at them, because I took Me - ga - Di k
for 7 months and now my shaft is indeed weightier than world.
take up (link deleted)

up the ambivalent feelings many had toward Soros that summer:
market to determine if it is possible for an individual actor such as Mr.
Soros warmed up to the media. He sat down for more interviews after
he gave them permission to film in his investment offices in New York
Gladstein, turning to the reporter, smiled apologetically and

From: “Julian K. George”
Subject: My boyfriend’s dick keeps slipping out.
Date: Wed, 22 Aug 2007 10:42:04 +0700
To: “Hubert J. Jacobs”

Ladies always smiled at me and even bucks did in the civil john!
Well, now I smil at them, because I took Meg, a dik.
for 7 months and now my shaft is excessively preponderant than world.
attain (link deleted)

But while classical economics taught the concept of equilibrium,
These far-from-equilibrium situations took one of two forms. At
And markets that feed on their own frenzy always overreact,
Market prices were always going to be wrong because they
biases of investors and what

From: Colon Cleanse Support
Subject: Flush up to 20 Excess Pounds out of your Colon! You will see and feel the difference
Date: Tue, 21 Aug 2007 15:58:21 PST

Did you know the average American has 6-10 undigested meals resting in the colon???

(link baleted)

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From: “Freddie D. Carlson”
Subject: My boyfriend’s phallus keeps slipping out.
Date: Mon, 20 Aug 2007 08:16:32 -0400
To: “Willis U. Silva”

Princesses always whizgiggled at me and even boys did in the unrestricted WC!
Well, now I giggl at them, because I took M E G_A_D IK
for 3 months and now my dick is greatly more than national.
earn (d3l3t3d)

rescuers at 11:00 a.m. EST.
Yahoo also promised to help advertisers gain phone
company is now working on putting search on every phone
nuclear reactor was unaffected. HMS Tireless is a
The Greek ministries of Public Order and Economy

From: “Guadalupe Z. Vigil”
Subject: I just started dating a guy I like, but his member is on the small side and doesn’t really satisfy me
Date: Mon, 20 Aug 2007 15:10:25 +0900
To: “Flora N. Tapia”

Dames always giggled at me and even gentlemans did in the public toilet!
Well, now I whoop at them, because I took M_E_G. ADI. K
for 6 months and now my member is dreadfully largest than usual.
acquire (poof)

As for favored status symbols, the luxury hotel suite, the yacht, and
the wrong move in the market. For another, I did not really want to
the wealthy was mobility. Aspiring to something beyond a life of leisure,
and his investment strategies between August 1985 and November
the process that is occurring, this revolutionary process, better than

I’m interested, but there are so many different brand names. Oh woe is me; which should I choose?!

You guys get all these emails? Wow, my spam filter must be better than I thought. Oh well, I guess I don’t mind having a slightly* less interesting life.
*The use of the adverb “slightly” may be more than a slight exaggeration.

Result is most better when included brand have convenient shaped ladle for bum shoving into!