He said to check the freezer and the oven. I said “they’re alright” and he asked again. I said “they’re alright” and he said “ok”. So I was able to avoid checking without being very confrontational like saying “no” would be.
Several things you wrote stand out but this one especially; this man should not be in this home w/ this baby. He knows others won’t think he’s fit to be around the baby and that’s why he didn’t want his pending fatherhood mentioned. The mom won’t be able to defend the baby for the next month or so due to the restrictions of recovering from a cesarean (her obesity aside) so it’s a good thing the baby’s staying in the hospital for the next while and out of his reach. Between his heavy smoking, mentally unhealthy behaviors and physical intimidation your house is not a safe place for a baby. I don’t know what a happy solution is for all these factors coming together but your enjoyment of others’ secrets is not as high a priority as the health of this baby. You can defend yourself in an argument w/ this man but a baby can’t do anything against an angry adult who shakes them out of frustration.
The mother is more responsible for the baby’s safety than me and she knows the flatmate better than I do. BTW a few years ago I suggested she break up with him. I also said that apparently women can be attracted to men that remind them of their father. She said “no my father is much worse”. Recently her father said in a phonecall to my flatmate that he’s had a disability all of his life but me and the flatmate don’t know what it is.
BTW I’ve never remembered the flatmate react physically (pushing or breaking objects) ever…
Or even waving a fist, or banging a table, etc, in frustration. He just swears. He used to take drugs and maybe he was on drugs when he got charged with assault.
edit: I talked to my wife… he’s been in the lockup overnight for being drunk. I know he’s broken into someone’s house but I’m not sure if it involved assault. Maybe I got mixed up. It is hard to ask about it because people get curious about why I want to know.
Well I talked to my wife again…
“…did he break into somewhere?”
“yeah”
“did he beat up someone?”
“yeah”
If you’re not reporting any of this to the doctor, especially about the baby, simply because your enjoyment of hearing his secrets is more important to you than a child’s safety, you’re just as guilty. Ever heard of something called “enabling?”
I have never considered touching a male though unfortunately I’ve been touched or nearly touched by them a few times against my will.
What, you only consider sexually touching female babies?
It seems other people only matter to you in relation to how they entertain you, JohnClay. What may go on in your home b/c you think the reward outweighs the risks is practically unthinkable. Are Social Services aware of who lives in your home and that an infant is going to be entering it?
Or would that take your potential fun away?
The last assault my flatmate did would have been about 15 years ago. I doubt that would cause the government to put some kind of restraining order on him regarding the baby.
If you allow that baby to come to harm due to any action or inaction on your part or because you feel that it is the baby’s mother’s job to protect him or because you feel it’s none of your business, you are just as guilty as the perpetrator.
Also, having a baby in the house is going to be a major change in your life as well. I’d get prepared for that, if I were you.
When they get home the mother would be constantly with or near the baby. He doesn’t touch ordinary objects when frustrated so it seems unlikely he would harm or kill the baby out of frustration. He just swears.
Ordinary objects don’t make noise in the middle of the night when they want to be fed, burped, or changed. Ordinary objects don’t throw up on you. Ever.
At some point, Mom will need more than an hour of sleep, a bathroom or shower break.
Newborns can be stressful, VERY stressful; a lamp, not so much.
When my flatmate gets stressed he asks for help… Also he knows the baby is very precious to his wife - she’s had 4 miscarriages.
Forget it people, he just doesn’t care. It’s in one ear and out the other.
Mark my words – this isn’t going to end well.
So people want me to tell his doctor that he shouldn’t be allowed to be alone with his son because he assaulted someone (perhaps while on drugs) about 15 years ago… Ok I could say that a message board told me…
I don’t think you should be left alone near the baby.
That’s ok I don’t really like babies anyway
You said, and I quote:
He can be “pretty scary”. He doesn’t want the doctor to know. You admitted he hears voices. None of which make him a good candidate to be a father.
All you have to do is repeat what you said here. Something like, “Hey, you know Dr., X told me not to say this, but his wife is going to have a baby. And it kinda worries me, since he gets really scary when he’s pissed off, plus all the voices he hears. I know it’s none of my business, but I just thought you should know.”
There. You don’t have to mention the dope. Or if you feel you HAVE to be honest, or whatever, just say, “I mentioned this about him to some people I know, and they suggested I tell you about it.”
That’s all. End of story. Otherwise, there’s no point to you starting these threads of your’s – people give you advice, and you ignore it because it’s not what you want to hear.