I’ve got these few pages on the web about romance novels. The Harlequinny type. I usually get about 2 to 5 hits a day, unless I mention it here at the Dope, then the hits quadruple.
I noticed that my site had 12 hits last night. I check the site tracker and notice I’ve been googled. Cool, right? The search phrase that bought 95.6% of Goolers to my site? “masterbation method.” I kinda feel sorry for those people. They must have been so disappointed when they opened the page.
I know I was. Not even one pic of you! 
Was the phrase misspelled like that, too? And how many people really need instruction on methods of masturbation? I don’t remember it being part of the “birds and bees” talk my old man gave me, but I seemed to figure it out just fine. Weird.
Yeup, misspelled just like that. Makes me wanna go and do a spell check on the whole site. I did a google search with “masterbation method” and got a good 8 pages, but I didn’t see my page.
And pezpunk, if I put a picture of me then the search would rightly be called “method of masterbation cessation”
Reminds me of this funny bit I saw a comedian do once. Went something like this:
When I was a little kid an older kid (who was big and bad) said meet me after school in the alley. I’ll show ya something cool I learned. I at first thought he was gonna beat me up, but when we got back there, he started descrbing the principals of masturbation. He said “Give it a try.” Then he left me with these words: “Enjoy, but remember, you only get to do it 99 times. If you try to go for a hundred your heart will instantly stop and you’ll die.”
I tell ya, I’ve never been as nervous as I was when I went for my hundredth round. . . . .The next day.
[/someone elses joke]
DaLovin’ Dj
You didn’t get the manual?
I love search strings!!
I run an online comic with some magic and some demons, so most of the ones I get are of the “picture of hell” variety. Probably the most interesting one I’ve ever gotten was “picture of a naked succubi.” Dude, dude. I am the one that writes the plot lines!
I seem to recall Billy Connolly telling this joke.
Tor
While people don’t generally need instructions, I have seen sites on various techniques. Like most other aspects of sexuality, it’s possible to learn new things.
I have one web page my Vast and Informative Web-Presence that mentions redheads.
More than 50% of hits to my site come from Google seraches on “redheads.”
I can only think of one reason why that many people would be searching for “redheads.”