My personality shall be reflected by the smell of my armpits for the next 2 months

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

That is to say I am a “Cyclone”

Yep, that is what is says on my new Speed Stick. I had other options but the other name such as “Green Lightning”, “Aqua Blue Rain” or “Icy Frost” just didn’t seem to reflect my personality.

Before I was “Cyclone” I was “Wild Rain” (in gel form) but after a few weeks I realized I wasn’t really “Wild Rain”. I can’t remember who I was before that, but I have yet to find a deodorant that jumps out of the shelf and says “Hey you bastard! where the hell have you been all of my life?”

So every couple of months I have to try and decide who I will be for a while. It is not like buying toothpaste where you get mint, minty, icy mint, 3 colors of mint etc. Or clothes, clothes can reflect your mood every day and can be changed. This is a big comintment here, there is no way that I am going up to the cashier with an armload of deodorant just so I can match my mood to my smell, you pick one and you have to stay with it.

The names are the worst, you can’t tell how you will smell, for all I know “Cyclone” will make me smell like bananas for the next few months. They should just have names like “Cool single guy”, “I make more money than you”, “Dry shower”, I still live with mom",“Garbage man” etc.

Now at least if I tell my friends to call me “Mr. Cyclone” it sounds a lot better than “Mr. Wild Rain” almost dare I say, dangerous?

2

That makes my husband a Brut.

3

Since I was out of deorderant this morning and had to borrow the wife’s, does that make me Powder Fresh?

I don’t feel Powder Fresh. Not even a little bit.

4

I smell of soggy leaves, but then again I have been stood in the rain for the past 3 hours.
All I can say is “Bring the Funk”.

egg

5

Well, that’s the last time I buy “Brown Crust”.

6

Right Guard will not help you here.

7

Secret does the “define yourself by your armpits” one better. today, I smell like ambition.

I woke up today and was feeling pretty lazy, and not really motivated to get any work done. Then, I smelled my armpits!

…well, I still haven’t gotten any work done. But at least one part of me is ambitious.

8

I’m “Fresh Cotton” by Ban.

9

Right Guard is fine, but what are you suppused to use on the other arm?

10

Secret’s scent names are odd. The one I’m using lately is called “Genuine.” Who thought of that? Isn’t not having “genuine”-smelling armpits kind of the whole point? 'S okay, though. Secret Platinum is “eerily effective,” as I once heard someone put it.

11

Then I guess I’m “Sensitive Skin Formula.” What kind of mood am I supposed to be in for that?

12

I am Unscented. A blank. A tabula rasa if you will. Unsettling, now that I think about it.

13

I’m cool rain then. I should switch. I’ve been hot all day. O yeah some days i’m sport talc. Doesn’t make me feel very athletic though.

14

Green Lightning?

No, seriously, I do use that one, but mine just says ‘Speed Stick Lightning’. ‘Lightning Gel’, if you’re a stickler for accuracy.

15

I’ve been “Fresh” for thirteen years. I found a smell I liked and I stuck with it.

And yes, I still like it, although for about a year they only made it in that awful gel stuff, which was truly horrifying in a cold house; like putting freezer-fresh ice cream in the pits before work.

16

Update.

I am no longer “Powder Fresh.”

I am, oddly enough Briminator now “Wild Rain.”

Which I guess means I’m wet and a little loony.

17

Yes, I have also had genuine armpits. You’re right about the eerie effectiveness of Secret Platinum. My underarms used to always sweat quite a bit, even if I wasn’t hot. When I started using Secret Platinum, it stopped. Completely. I can be running a marathon in 110 degrees and soaking wet from sweat, but not my armpits, they are completely dry . Very effective, but it does make you wonder, a little.