Name my pathetic patch of chest hair

I am not a manly man. I bench press roughly twelve pounds and drink crystal light. My favorite new artist is Justin Timberlake. Until I waas sixteen, I was often greeted on the phone as “oh, you must be ____'s daughter.”

I have chest hair. But it’s blonde. And starts at my breastbone and extends outwards in a diamond roughly 1.5" in diameter. Here is a picture. I have dubbed this picture “Elliot Aaronson: Boating Enthusiast, Millionaire Extaordinaire”, but that isn’t really relevant.

Currently, the patch is named “The Lion’s Mane”, but I need something more ferocious sounding to pump up my ego. Other options entertained have included “the soul patch” and “Steve.”

Have a go at it.

We can name our chest hair?

That’s great! Now that I’m too old for my penis to have a name (or so I’m told), I can still indulge my desire to name body parts.

As to the OP, I think “Steve” is a fine name. Just not “Steven;” you don’t want people to think your chest hair is gay.

Short, blonde, curly and kinda cute? I’d call it Charlene, after Kylie Minogue’s character in Neighbours! :wink:

Tough: Brillo

Manly: Steele Woolfe

Other: The Love Nest. Forest of Man. Orson.

I formerly called mine “The Picnic Area”, as in “c’mon sweetie, and have a seat on The Picnic Area” (accompanied be a come hither leer). This name is currently up for grabs if you’re interested.

I would call it the “man patch”. I dunno, just sounds good.




No names for for your chest hair but nice nipples.

you can call them Thor’s Pubes. (you need to jump onto a table with your fists at your hips by the way, then yell “ha HA!” in the manliest voice you can muster.)

My chest hair connects to my back hair. I think I’ll name it “Cardigan”.


Longrod von Hugenstein, in case you were wondering.

Omegaman, I believe that is the first time I have been complimented on my nipples. I am simultaneously astounded as to how ignorant I am of the qualities of a good nipple but somehow sure that, yes, they are particularly fine. Thanks.

So it’s not Princess Sophia, then?

That picture looks like a scene out of The Talented Mr Ripley.

Mine is Jennifer Aniston’s Comfy Chair, but she said that was for me only.


Is your chest hair up for grabs?

How about “(I’ve got the) Golden Thicket”?

Good one. Mine was named (not by me, I must point out) “Goliath.”

“This space for rent”.