Okay, Hamadryad’s got a day-and-a-half head start here, but I’m sure we can catch up in no time… let’s go, all you losers! I know there’s plenty of depression and neuroses to go around.
Why are YOU useless? What makes you so goddamned idiotic? Openly, honestly, none of this “Well, I guess if I HAD to admit” or “my bitch of an ex-wife used to say…” Why are you absolutely 100% a free-loading oxygen-breather?
I’ll start it off:
• My short-term memory sucks. Python routines I memorized in high school? No problem. Grocery list so I won’t go hungry tomorrow? What that?
• I absolutely cannot make small talk. Especially with guys. Women I can sometimes handle, but not in a way that makes them think I’m attractive or intriguing. I’m neither a “man’s man” nor a “ladies’ man.”
• I have a really nice car that I like, finally, and I’m constantly doing stupid shit like running over curb corners or into the wall at the head of a parking space. Nothing drastic, just STUPID!
• Two words: Quick. Trigger.
• I’m an absolute coward when it comes to confronting people. I’ll walk to the other end of the room and wait ten minutes to order a drink instead of excusing myself and squeezing up to the bar.
[li] I drink too much.[/li][li] I bite my nails and peel my cuticles til they bleed, yuck.[/li][li] I am a lousy driver.[/li][li] I procrastinate.[/li][li] I am always late.[/li][li] I smoke too much.[/li][li] I don’t care about politics or current events.[/li][li] I am really vain.[/li][li] I don’t like babies or toddlers.[/li][li] I am afraid of the dark.[/li][li] I don’t eat my vegetables.[/li][li] I don’t like love stories or comedies.[/li] I think Regis Philbin is a great guy.
[ul]
[li] I drink a lot.[/li][li] I ain’t got no lady.[/li][li] I have a short temper for stupid people[/li][li] I don’t flirt[/li][li] I don’t get many dates[/li][li] I have no problem killing Communists or their sympathizers.[/li][li] I am very whimsical with my money.[/li][/ul]
I have a fiery temper
I drive too fast
I do not suffer fools gladly
I don’t like other people’s kids
I don’t like pets much
I like to watch VeggieTales
I don’t watch the news
I can’t put up with idiots re my job.
I hog all the covers. This is not a problem lately.
I’m occasionally boastful
I can’t be bothered to learn the correct coding to post in list format
I get pissed off very easily.
I whine when I don’t get my way.
I refuse to believe there’s anyone smarter than I.
I don’t look good in shorts.
I’m loud and annoying.
I complain all of the time.
I brag all of the time.
I procrastinate.
I hate most of the movies I’ve seen (Although with the crap that’s passing for entertainment now, how could anyone blame me?)
I don’t like chocolate.
I don’t like ice cream.
I don’t like cookies.
I don’t like cake.
I don’t like milk.
Oh God, this may not have been a good idea. I’m sitting here reading you people’s lists, and going “Uh-huh… yup… that’s me…” Apparently, I’m also feeble enough to associate with others’ failures, on top of everything else I listed. :rolleyes:
Oh, and Ginger? I wouldn’t worry about the coding. I’m with you, I created my list by inserting each bullet individually.
Fire…, you don’t like cake, cookies, ice cream, or chocolate… ? You need to add to your list, “I am completely mental.”
I drink till I black out
I don’t watch my diet
I never eat enought fruits and veggies
I chase a man who has a girlfriend
I tryed to get a friend to cheat on his girlfriend
I seem to be pmsing for the past 2 weeks
I live in the past/future
I drink out of the bottle/carton
I almost ran over an animal last night
I tell “white” lies all to often
I cry way to often
Yes i’ve only posted a few times but I figure why not let you know my “bad” side before you decide your opinion on me.
[ul][li]I don’t do small talk either.[/li][li]My face is turning into a giant scab.[/li][li]I’m failing English because I forgot to ask my teacher about quizzes I missed while I was out, and it’s ALL MY FAULT!!! AAARGGHHH!!! :mad: (FTR, I’d have a solid B if this hadn’t happened)[/li][li]Similar situation in Chem. I have a D+, but my teacher is letting me make the stuff up. [sub][sup]Psst… you’re being too positive.[/sup][/sub][/li][li]I say stupid, stupid things much more often than not[/li][li]I lose friends much faster than I make them.[/li][li]My friend, who I used to talk to on the phone every night, suddenly stopped calling me and I’m afriad to call her again because she also stopped acknowledging me when she sees me in public.[/li][li]No matter how much weight I lose, I still look fat in a t-shirt.[/li][li]My personality is like… unflavored cotton candy.[/li][li]I’ve been putting this list together for the last 10 minutes when I really should have been asleep four hours ago.[/ul][/li]I’ll think of more later. There’s always more.
I’ve really only got one thing: I have absolutely no self-confidence. In spite of myself, I just started seeing this girl, and I’m totally convinced that any day she’s going to tell me she doesn’t want to see me anymore. Dammit, why can’t I quit being like this, convinced I suck and am a loser. Who knows?
I cant budget to save my life.
I take terrible care of my car/apartment/belongings.
I never balance my checkbook.
I have a severe intolerance for things that I dont understand.
I have the worst possible taste in boys.
I hate crowds.
I never remember to send thank you/Christmas/Birthday cards.
My bottom teeth are crooked.
I secretly care what other people think of me.
I havent gotten my oil changed in prolly 10k miles.
I sleep too much.
I waste money on completely idiotic things. I have a dormant $10 month Compuserve account that I’ve been meaning to cancel for MONTHS. I just never get around to it. I’m a terribly procrastinator about such things.
I didn’t learn to drive until I was in my mid-20s. This doesn’t bother me so much now (I have made up for it since by driving cross-country a lot. I love driving. I once drove to from L.A. to Sequoia and back in one day, just on a whim.) But I am embarassed that it took me that long to learn how to drive, and I rarely admit it.
I’m a fat hideous toad! (Well, that’s what my mirror tells me some mornings.)
I am the Queen of Dead-End Jobs.
I hate calling people on the phone. (I think this is why I haven’t called Compuserve yet.) I am not phone-phobic really, I don’t have a problem yakking on the phone. But I just hate making that call. I can’t explain it.
I don’t like dwelling on all my faults, because it’s taken me so long to try to STOP thinking about them. I sometimes think there is a certain vanity involved with self-loathing. It’s like it’s all about ME, ME, ME all the time, and how worthless I am. I just want to forget about it sometimes. I have wasted too much time obsessing about what a loser I am, and I’m sick of it!
(What? What was that? Was that some glimmer of common sense and a healthy attitude? Certainly not! Can’t be! Not from me!}
I feel like a baby Beluga whale.
I absolutely can not navigate to save my life.
I think I’m too selfish.
I know I’m too petty sometimes.
I have zero tolerance for incompetence.
Ditto for morons.
I’m not doing as good a job at work as I should be because of an incompetent moron.
My grammar sucks.
I can’t spell to save my life.
I am completely clueless when it comes to flirting.
I eat McDonalds all the time.
I’ve got eyebrows like you wouldn’t believe.
I genuinely think the Bangles were a great band.
[li]I have a quick temper[/li][li]I’m sometimes really conceited[/li][li]I’m rarely on time[/li][li]I hate confrontation[/li][li]I’m a clothes and make-up snob[/li][li]My room is messy[/li][li]I can be a bitch[/li]I start assignments too late
[sub][sup]Psst… you’re being too positive.[/sup][/sub][/li][li]I say stupid, stupid things much more often than not[/li][li]I lose friends much faster than I make them.[/li][li]My friend, who I used to talk to on the phone every night, suddenly stopped calling me and I’m afriad to call her again because she also stopped acknowledging me when she sees me in public.[/li][li]No matter how much weight I lose, I still look fat in a t-shirt.[/li][li]My personality is like… unflavored cotton candy.[/li][li]I’ve been putting this list together for the last 10 minutes when I really should have been asleep four hours ago.[/ul][/li]I’ll think of more later. There’s always more.