My self-loathing! Your self-loathing! Everyone's self-loathing!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

[ul]

[li]I’m neurotic as hell and narcissistic, too[/li]
[li]I have no focus and can’t finish anything[/li]
[li]I speak without thinking sometimes…[/li]
[li]…And when I do think, I don’t speak, so nobody knows how I’m really feeling[/li]
[li]I hate cats, and I’m starting to dislike dogs, too[/li]
[li]I can be very demanding[/li]
[li]I like cheesy music and am not ashamed[/li]
[li]Once, I accidently killed a frog by putting it in hot water[/li]
[li]I whine and pout a lot[/li]
[li]I have no sense of perspective[/li]
[li]I am the worst driver in the world, I try but it takes too much concentration[/li]
[li]Spelling and grammar is beyond me[/li]
[li]I suck at foreign languages, too, not just English[/li]
[li]I rely on other people too much[/li]
[li]Secretly, I think the world does owe me something[/li]
[/ul]

22

[Daria voice]: “I don’t have low self-esteem. I have low esteem for everyone else.”

23

Main problem: I can’t connect with people. Even when I’m trying to be open, more often than not they’ll say something like “I never know how you feel”, or “you’re just such an unknown”

Sub-problems: I can’t make the first move. I have no idea how to start a friendly conversation.

I don’t do small-talk very well.

I’m trapped here behind my eyes. I’d like to meet people, make dates, etc. But I don’t know how, and nothing I’ve tried so far has been very successful.

24

[li] Too little self-confidence.[/li][li] But when I try to be self-confident, I come off as arrogant.[/li][li] I don’t like to fail, but manage to set my goals too high and ta-dah, can’t reach 'em.[/li][li] Can’t let go of the past (well, I’m better than before, but still have a stranglehold on somethings that are long-gone)[/li][li] Body parts are sagging.[/li][li] I spend too much money and don’t save enough.[/li][li] Annoying little lump in my right breast is on my mind every waking moment (yes, I’m getting that taken care of).[/li][li] Don’t know when to say ‘no’ someone’s request for help, even when my own schedule is full.[/li][li] I get over-enthusiastic at the beginning of a project to the point of annoying everyone around me.[/li][li] I get bored easily and leave things half-done.[/li][li] Teeth aren’t as white as they could be (thank you, tetracycline).[/li][li] When I talk, I take 20 minutes to say what could be said in 3 (by way of 4 topic diversions, 2 unrelated topics and 6 tangents, but I do manage to come back to the original topic).[/li][li] Complete lack of intimacy/sex over the last several years (even when (former)Roommate was around); I’m to the point of desperation [I’ve never been like that].[/li][li] I like John Tesh’s music.[/li][li] I’ve forgotten how to flirt.[/li] I’m a know-it-all.

25

I never finish what I

26

I yell when I’m angry.
I have a hard time paying attention when it matters the most.
I am not good at reading other people.
I deliberately keep my distance, and it’s hard to get to know me.
I can’t flirt worth a damn.
I could stand to lose fifty pounds.
I am full of unfulfilled good intentions.
I am surrounded by unfinished projects.
My posts are inane.

27

I need to lose weight.
I’m not completely honest about how I feel with anyone.
I can be very aloof in group situations; I’m only at my best one-on-one, and sometimes not even that.
I care too much, too fast, and I forgive so easily that’s common for me to get hurt time and time again by the same person.
I have a very bad temper.
I can’t play guitar. I’ve tried. I can’t do it.

28

[ul]
[li]I cannot become an expert in one thing cuz I get bored as hell with it after a few months.[/li][li]I am too big (6’ and 220 lbs) and don’t give a damn about my appearance beyond being dressed.[/li][li]I don’t have any fashion sense or care about makeup.[/li][li]The only thing I love is being online and sleeping.[/li][li]I eat out all the time when I should be saving money.[/li][li]I always start something do about half of it then never finish it or I finish it years later (ie I have 3 Cross-stitch projects in various stages of completion and I haven’t touched any of them in about a year)[/li][li]I take too much shit from people[/li][li]When you get me angry I get very angry and afterwards I cry.[/li][li]I love my extended family but most of them I avoid whenever possible.[/li][li]I hate waking up in the mornings. If I could I would sleep all day and be up all night.[/li][li]I goof off in my class most of the time even if I need them to pass. (Seems to bug the math teacher that my mark is in the 80’s and I rarely do anything… which is funny cuz I hate math and this is the best mark I’ve ever gotten.)[/li][li]I read too much (In my Grandparents opinion)[/li][li]I spend the money I have on frivolous things (I’m not gonna get a credit card for awhile. I don’t want to be in debt that badly)[/li][/ul]

Blah I can’t think of anything more but that should be enough.

29

Im too kind - sometimes people get put off because they assume I have an ulterior motive, or they abuse my kindness.

I drive too fast.

I’m way to anal about keeping the house tidy.

I always match.

I have a short attention span when it comes to the opposite sex.

I’m VERY demanding.

Sometimes I force-cuddle my bunnies.

I have trouble with romantic relationships.

30

Im too kind - sometimes people get put off because they assume I have an ulterior motive, or they abuse my kindness.

I drive too fast.

I’m way to anal about keeping the house tidy.

I always match.

I have a short attention span when it comes to the opposite sex.

I’m VERY demanding.

Sometimes I force-cuddle my bunnies.

I have trouble with romantic relationships.

I listen to Patsy Cline, and sing along really loudly and off-key.

31

…The greatest ofthe sadists and the masochists too,
Screaming “please hit me!” and “I’ll hit you!”

32

But you have the coolest handle!

My biggest problem is that I’m a 22 year-old closet nerd and because of this driving passion I don’t have any normal interests I can talk to normal people about. I have absolutely no interest in pro sports, fashion models, television, popular music or cars. Instead I further isolate myself from the normal veins of thought by reading buddhist literature and classics, writing articles on the metaphysical highlands of the mind, composing electronica in my little home studio and trying to figure out how to make my programs learn from their mistakes. Not a great set of hobbies for small talk, and I know it.

Me: “Hey wazzup! Do you think there’s any quality in the world without pain?!”
Co-worker: “What the fuck?!”
Me: “Uh, see that game last week?”
Co-worker: “What sport?”
Me: “uh… uh… um… Kings?”

Secondly, I’m irresponsible as hell. Don’t ask me how late my bills are. Do I have money to pay them? Yes. Do I have stamps? Maybe. Can I bother myself to open an envelope and write a check? No. But can I spend an hour on webvan.com ordering groceries click-by-click for my girlfriend at four in the morning knowing I’ll only get two hours of sleep before work? Yes.

(sigh)

iNFp all the way, everyday.

33

I trust nobody.

I do/say stupid things.

I ignore my friends for months at a time.

I’m often arrogant, sometimes pompous.

I have a terrible memory, but I always win at trivia games, go figure.

I sound mean/angry even when I’m not.

I correct people.

I’m way overweight and can’t seem to lose it.

I think the Democratic Party has been taken over by idiots and Republican Party by assholes. No wait, that’s why other people loathe me.

I think I’ve said enough.

34

Why thank you…

Actually I like to read lots of books… mainly fantasy and such but also some weird things. And I can barely do small talk with others because Sports don’t interest me beyond ‘Is the home team winning?’ and Music is whatever sounds good to the mood I’m in (which means I listen to just about anything and know next to nothing about certain groups and such which seperates me from my peers who sing all these weird songs that I like but don’t know the lyrics to)

And the thing I said about being up all night? I forgot to mention that it would be spent mostly online then watching the sunrise and reading a few chapters of a book before falling asleep. I’m a pretty solitary creature which bugs the hell out of relatives who think I need to get out more.

35

These are all just off the top of my head…

I have a bad personality.
I’m a slob.
My hair is perpetually unkepmt looking.
And I’m overweight and lumpy in all the wrong places.
I am shy, which comes across as self absorbed and snotty.
I have respiratory issues.
I cringe at the thought or presence of babies and small children.
I have no ambition.
I waste the company’s bandwidth posting my personal angst online.
I have no memory - if it was more than five minutes ago, I don’t have a clue.
I can’t balance my checkbook.
I have orgiastic fits of shopping from time to time to puff up my deflated ego.
I’m someone’s mistress.
I can’t please my family, and I’ve given up trying.
I secretly (sometimes not so secretly) think most everyone I know is dumber than me.
I am being made redundant by the Multinational Omnicorp that just swallowed up my Respected Regional Employer, so obviously I hold a position of little or no importance. No, wait, that’s why I loathe them.

Yup. I am unworthy to have been granted the gift of existance.

36

Wow, I’m suffering from just about everything mentioned above. Just change “Bad taste in boys” to “Bad taste in girls” (and Screech Owl’s John Tesh thing… freak!).

Also:

I surgically dissect conversations I have days and weeks afterwards searching for stupid things I might have said.

37

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by TwistofFate *
**I just offended someone I admire.

No you didn’t ToF-I couldn’t figure out the Hotmail wasn’t working until the last message you sent there…but it’s all good now. No Swanton for you:)

Where do I start?

-I attack viciously when I feel cornered.
-I say things that I think are funny that come across as bitchy and/or egotistical.
-Deep down I do care what poeple think and have gotten very upset over something said in passing
-I still need to lose weight-I’m down six sizes and I’m still flabby:(
-I lose my paience easily
-I fall for men who show me the slightest sign of affection
-I usually fall for men I can’t be with.
-I think I’m the ugliest person on earth.
-I don’t trust many people.
-I’m always questioning people’s motives/feelings and pushing them away as a result.
-Years of smoking have done a number on my teeth and right now I can’t afford the bleaching procedure.

38

and I can’t code to save my life :frowning:

39

I’m lazy.

I bitch about everything. A lot.

I’m sarcastic 99% of the time.

I don’t like small children.

I hate people in general.

I get mad really easily.

I get annoyed really easily.

I’m crabby all the time.

I’m mean to people.

I take my frustrations out on everybody else rather than focusing on the problem.

I dwell on every little bad thing that’s ever happened in my life.

I hate the way I think.

I hate the way I act.

In order to prevent people from getting too close to me, I push them away.

I refuse help with just about everything.

I have zero self-confidence.

I hate my body and refuse to wear anything less than long sleeves and pants.

I feel sorry for myself.

I don’t know what I want out of life.

Everyday I wake up disappointed because I woke up.

I refuse to do anything about my depression.

I don’t trust anyone.

I don’t feel like anyone should trust me.

I have social anxiety disorder.

I get nervous when I have to use knives.

Sudden, loud noises scare me to tears.

I can’t be anywhere alone. Especially at night.

I’m paranoid.

I dropped out of high school.

I don’t try hard enough to get anything accomplished.

I can’t save money.

I constantly buy things that I don’t need and will probably never use.

I’m impatient.

I don’t eat or sleep as much as I probably should.

In general, I don’t care about anything.

I smoke a lot.

I have no decision making skills.

I’m convinced that those around me would be better off if I were no longer around.

Instead of trying to make things better, I whine and complain about how bad life sucks.

I give bad advice.

I pretend to know a lot about everything when I’m actually pretty stupid.

I lie to myself about how I feel so that I don’t have to confront my issues.

I hate it when people worry about me and strongly discourage it.

I’m too busy being pissed off to enjoy anything.

I repeat myself.

I do not welcome change.

I hate meeting new people and avoid doing so as often as possible.

I hate my job and I don’t make nearly enough money.

I have to go to work now.

40

I bite my nails

Whenever someone forces me into a confrontation (argument with friends, scary tangle with strangers), my heart starts thudding, I lose any wit and grace I might otherwise have possessed, and I go a big cold one and chicken out usually.

It never fails: it’s after 1 AM, I lie in bed and open a book. I awaken at 5:30 AM, light in my face, dry mouth, sore muscles (???), drooled-on book, unrested!!

I get tongue-tied like Hugh Grant. Or Woody Allen. Less whiny though.

That’ll do for a start :slight_smile: