My son has died

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
81

First, let me express my sincerest condolences. I have read your threads about your son’s struggles over the years and I sorry he came to such an end. My sympathies.

Listen to me carefully:

You and your ex need to contact a lawyer ASAP.

Most debt, including medical debt, dies with the person holding it. Especially when the person in question is clearly an adult and NOT on your medical insurance. Creditors will not tell you that. They will imply you are responsible for that debt. You are probably not, and don’t take on debt that isn’t yours. VERY IMPORTANT: do NOTHING to imply you will assume that debt, or that you will arrange payment for it.

This isn’t necessarily an expensive consultation - you want a lawyer knowledgeable about family law and estates. Consult with the lawyer for about a half an hour about what is and isn’t your responsibility. Don’t add to your burdens by assuming debt that isn’t yours.

The fact that he was living with your ex makes no difference - my husband was married to me as well as living with me and the vast majority of his debt died with him. Seriously, she needs to consult with a lawyer to find out what she is and isn’t actually responsible to pay.

82

So sorry to hear of your son’s death, but glad to hear he was feeling your love as he died.

83

I’m sorry for your loss. I sent you a PM, no problem here.

84

I’m so sorry Chefguy.

85

Very sorry for your loss.

Broomstick has a good point.

It’s unlikely that your ex is responsible for your son’s medical bills.

86

I can feel your heartbreaking, I am so sorry, my son is also 42 and I can’t imagine how I would take something like this. My thoughts are with you.

87

To all who wish to donate: I will match all donations dollar for dollar. The site was set up by my daughter, who was desperate to do something to honor his memory. She also wrote the lovely eulogy on that page. Thanks in advance for any donations.

88

I’m so sorry to hear this, and heartbroken for his children and for you and your ex.

Please, please heed what Broomstick has said about his debts dying with him. There’s no obligation, legal or moral, for people to pay his bills.

StG

89

Good info on the debt. Thanks. That means that the largest part of what is donated will go to his son.

90

I’m sorry for your troubles.
:frowning:

91

I am so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine (and never want to) what that must feel like. May you find consolation.

92

So sorry Chefguy. My best to you and your family.

93

Saw the thread title and immediately thought “Poor Chefguy!”.

But while having read what you previously wrote might blunt the shock, it doesn’t make this any easier.

Really hope you keep posting, even if it seems like stuff no one’d want to hear. We want to hear it. And we hope you’ll continue to lean on us.

94

I am extremely sorry for your loss and I’m so sorry you are in such pain. My thoughts are with you and your family. I know it’s not much, but I’m sending you many hugs. Please take care of yourself.

95

I’m sorry for your loss. :frowning:

96

Deepest condolences for your loss. It is heartening to see an outpouring of support and love for a valued community member.

Yet I return from an 8-year posting hiatus to echo Broomstick’s advice - there is absolutely no reason for you or your ex to take on those debts, and plenty of good reason not to.

97

Jesus, Chefguy, I’m so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I don’t know if words can help you right now, but just know people are thinking of you and your family.

98

I am so sorry. This was heartbreaking to read. So very sorry.

99

Sorry to hear this news Chefguy.

100

You have my sincere condolences Chefguy. I hope in time your memories will be good ones.