I don’t think anyone believes that sex is inherently bad. But there are lots of things that are inherently “not bad” that children shouldn’t be doing. Children shouldn’t be living by themselves, they shouldn’t drive til they reach a certain age, they shouldn’t be able to recklessly drug their bodies until they reach a certain age.
Parenting isn’t just about being a teacher. It’s also about stepping in to make the right decision for the little one if they just refuse to do it themselves. If I have a son that I’ve taught extensively about the risks of heroin, and he decides to use it habitually, I’m going to use my parental authority to stop him. There are certain decisions that a good parent cannot give their child the right to make themselves, because you can’t reasonably assume the child is old enough to make that decision yet.
There’s also the whole, “Junior High” factor. Sometimes I read posts here and I think you guys all grew up in different worlds that I did.
When I went to junior high a girl that gave BJs at age 13 was called a slut and a whore behind her back. She got attention from the dirtbag guys that just want BJs and more. After getting used by a few guys like that, the girl is completely perceived as a whore and that’s the end of it for her, she’s a whore until she graduates high school and she’ll only attract the dregs of the school population when it comes to guys. Not to mention she’ll be socially outcast from many school groups.
That’s not necessarily fair or right but that’s just how it was where I went to school. I mean, the girls that started openly having sex in HS, that was one thing (although in HS well over 50% of the guys I knew were virgins, and trust me, a guy isn’t going to say he’s a virgin to another guy unless he really is) but the girls that slept around in junior high were socially ostracized.
And since everyone here lives in the real world, the behavior of junior high society is relevant to this parenting decision. In junior high you sexual partners are like the clothing you wear in “adult” society, or the car you drive, or the house you own.
You have a dirtbag partner, you’re considered a dirtbag. Just like if you live in a run down decrepit house you’re considered “lower class.” Life isn’t built on being fair, and I think we all have to recognize how much perception really means in the day to day life of people, and it means more to teenagers than most.
Too many people in recent years have become far too reckless with their opinions on sex and sexuality. We all have sex or at least we all have sex drives. Just like almost all of us (if we’re American) have cars and drive them. Just like the fact that we all drive doesn’t mean we should all drive recklessly, the fact that we are all sexually able animals doesn’t mean we need to engage in sex recklessly.