Let me give you fine folks a quick run down of why this young fellow needs a nick name.
Yesterday our company moved to a brand new building a few miles away from the building we’d called home for as many years as I can remember. This new building is swanky and Starbucksian, with oliveberry and drewdrop tan walls, ice machines in stainless steel refrigerators and even a small room off of the restroom containing lockers and a shower!
So this afternoon my esteemed coworker Scott is telling our mutual teammate, Angela about how awesome the men’s room is.
“Our shower has it’s own toilet! I feel kinda bad though, because I’ve kinda made it my personal bathroom. I just like having that big door that goes all the way to the floor so other people can’t see my shoes, ya know?!”
Angela and I were, of course, beside ourselves. “Why don’t WE have an extra toilet?!” “Go take a picture!”
So off Scott goes to snap a pic of his newfound glory.
Fast forward 10 mins, Scott is back at his desk and intentionally not making eye contact with me.
“Where’s our picture!?”
“Uh, so funny story…”
There is no toilet.
“But Scott, you said you’d made it your own personal toilet…”
“Yes, I know. I coulda sworn it had a toilet.”
“What, uh, what was where you thought the toilet was?”
“…a low sink.”
My sides STILL ache from laughing. So I must ask you, the brightest lot of folks I know, what colorful nickname should we call my poor, mistaken co-worker?
I’ve already come up with 1guy0toilets, but I think we can do better than that.