Now I have orange crap all over my 360 controller and my keyboard and mouse. That stuff is hard to clean off. Damnit!
Baby wipes will clean that up.
(says the mother of a Cheetos addict)
A couple of years ago, I bought ketchup potato chips to try them out. My husband tried them too.
A little while later, I saw Albert, one of our white cats. Albert’s head was pink. Apparently, my husband had petted Albert before he washed his hands of the red powder.
Albert had a pink smudge on his head for a while. 
Yeah, sometimes I have to take some rubbing alcohol and cotton balls and clean my mouse because I eat that kind of junk while programming. But I do love cheesy poofs.
I miss Cheetos. But more than Cheetos, I miss Planter’s Cheez Balls. Why, Planter’s? Why Kraft? Why would you discontinue the only cheese poof in ball form that doesn’t suck horribly? Why?
Guys: Especially not while watching a porno flick! 
Q
You sure wouldn’t want to have to go to the doctor for an orange penis.
Girls either, for that matter. There are some parts of the body where whey, cheese, lactic acid, and Yellow 6 belong, but that’s not one of them.
I almost got a job at the Cheetos factory a few years ago. As part of the interview I got a tour of the place and it was quite interesting. Cheetos are made from corn that is run through a 20 ft long stainless steel auger. The auger smooshes the corn, and the heat of friction cooks it. When the corn meal comes out of the auger, the moisture flashes to steam and that’s what pops the cheetos. From there it falls into a rotary oven where it is tumbled with cheese, which I was told is mostly real cheddar and vegetable oil. Then it is lightly salted and bagged for sale.
So what, you ask? Well I didn’t get the job but I did get a big bag of cheetos out of the auger without the cheese flavoring. And damn, they are really good without all that cheese, fat, and salt slathered all over them. Think nice light crispy-fresh corn flavor. And it was just corn and air so it wasn’t even bad for you! I asked the guy if they ever considered offering it al fresco. But he said people would think it was cattle feed and it would never sell. Well I don’t know about cows, but I’d buy a bag a day if they would offer it that way.
Planters Cheese Balls in the blue cylinder were the absolute best of the puffed cheese snacks ever made.
I didn’t realize that the were gone till you mentioned it but, I haven’t seen them in a long time.
I’m hungry for them now…MMMMMMMMM Cheez Balls.
A quick googling finds the following petition;
http://www.petitiononline.com/cheez123/
Bring Back “Planter’s Cheez Balls”
View Current Signatures - Sign the Petition
To: Planters Foods ©
We, The Undersigned, are outraged and frustrated at the news of the discontinuation of Planter's "Cheez Balls". We have been forced to buy from your competitors, who cheese balls aren't nearly as delicious!
We miss the days of our childhood when we could curl up with a nice large blue tub of cheese balls and eat until we fell asleep. We know that you have moved onto a healthier route, and we respect that, but you can't take away something that so many people know and love! We insist that Planters' bring back the Cheesy goodness that was once "Planter's Cheez Balls" at high demand!
Sincerely,
The Undersigned
View Current Signatures
I think you can get the things w/o flavourings, but they’re sold as packing peanuts, not food. We got some with a shipment of servers or something at the office, and the IT guy said you could eat them. I was doubtful, but lo and behold they looked like Cheetos, had the same crunchy->pasty consistency of Cheetos, just with a much more muted taste.
I bet they’d have fewer calories than rice cakes even, on a per-hour consumption basis.
Wouldn’t those things attract rats? I thought that was why the popcorn idea for packing was abandoned?
Thanks
Q
That would be cool! And I bet they’re cheap by the bushel. But I would reeeally need to see something that says “Food grade” before I’d eat them. Otherwise the stuff they might be adding could be awful. Interesting idea tho.
Or, I could just duct tape an auger to the lawn mower… Hmmm…
If you spear the cheetos with a toothpick you can keep the orange gunk off of your keyboard and mouse. I just had a bowl.
Along the same lines:
My mother used to yell at me when I was a wee little thing because, not wanting to get my hands greasy and salt-covered, I would eat my bowl of popcorn using my tongue. I would hold the bowl up at chin height and touch a piece with my tongue, to which the popcorn would instantly adhere. Then I could just bring it into my mouth, like a frog catching a fly. A buttery, salty, delicious fly. 
I was quite the strange youth. But then we all were, weren’t we.
XKCD webcomic image.
Another Cheetos-eating tip - use chopsticks instead of your fingers (I know I’ve brought this tip up before - but, IMHO, it’s good enough to bear repeating).
Do you often think of novel snack applications while you’re high?
I had a roommate at university who insisted on eating everything, and I mean everything, with chopsticks. I came home one night to find him and another roommate drunk off their asses, trying (pretty unsuccessfully) to eat my peanut butter out of the jar with chopsticks.
I got one hell of a cut on my thumb as a wee sprog at a summer pool party from one of those cans. Aaah, memories. Bloody cheese balls and chlorine.