The issue isn’t what Mrmanface thinks of women. There very well could be some kind-hearted, cake-making individual out there willing to date him and even marry him. The problem isn’t his attitude towards women. Plus it’s virtually impossible to change his mind at this stage in the game.
The core of the issue is that the effort it takes to wade through rejection after rejection (his attitude towards women factors in here) in order to find that special someone isn’t worth it to find that elusive special someone. So be it.
However, know this Mrmanface, just because there’s one, two, many, and even a majority of women that ostensibly are puppy ogling, ditzy, Cleo reading (kind of out of touch here…) bags of hormones, it doesn’t mean that EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. is. And i’m sure you know that. You’re just:
Not confident in your own attractive qualities that you’ll be able to pull in that diamond in the rough.
Lazy
Emotionally fragile and can’t deal with the requisite rejections in order to find someone compatible
Have a low sex drive
Resigned yourself to the fact that the perpetual loneliness that you’ve known has worked perfectly well up to this point and that any added happiness from a partner would be marginal at best
Which is kind of understandable. Is there something quantitatively wrong with it? No. Is it unusual? Definitely.
You should recognize that your admittedly paltry experience with women could give you the wrong impression. You also give the impression that you hold women in a bit of contempt. Perhaps you don’t actually feel this way, but if you give out the same impression to women you meet than this will be death on your dating life.
Today happens to be my 26th wedding anniversary, so forgive me if I have internalized too much and therefore have difficulty understanding your question.
My Wife and I are equals in our relationship. Our strengths and weaknesses complement each other. Both of us are willing to give 90% to ensure that we continue to communicate and reach our mutual goals. There are no individual goals once you are a couple. What’s mine is hers, what’s hers is mine, and everything is ours (before you get petty, she has never used my aftershave and I never wear her clothes but you know this isn’t about dresser drawer contents). I cannot imagine why anyone would want to be in an unbalanced relationship.
For as long as I’ve been interacting with them (again, this goes for people, not just women), and I’m ten years older than you are.
Note that “equal” doesn’t necessarily mean “identical.” People in relationships arrange themselves into all kinds of different roles, and none of those arrangements is objectively superior or inferior to any other. It’s about what works for the people in the relationship. But what’s important, even in a traditional partnership, is respect for your partner and a willingness to consider his/her needs and wants as important as your own. Maybe I’m reading too much into your posts, but it doesn’t sound to me like that’s what you’re looking for.
There’s nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship. But if you want one thing and go looking for something else, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Think a little more about what you’re really looking for before you start looking for it.
It’s different for different couples. Many actually do have a dominant partner, but this is just as likely to be the woman as the man (for straight couples). Other couples, like my wife and I, share everything and try to make every major decision together. I want a truly equal partnership, and I think I have one.
Get yourself some tattoos, a blue collar job and an addiction or two (betting on sports would be good.) You’ll be stunned at the number of women who’ll then suddenly relate to you. Before you know it you’ll be getting into shoving matches with some other dude in a bar parking lot while your devoted girlfriend tearfully drags you away.
I am just more or less used to the fact that any woman I meet will consider herself to good to date me, so it becomes a habit.
I guess the main barrier for me is finding someone willing to be my girlfriend and then the rest would follow from there.
I do have one requirement which is I’m not dating someone who is obese. Call it what you want it is an illness and in that case I’d rather just remain single.
Maybe the OP just needs to replace his emotion chip?
Let’s not kid ourselves. The way you are coming across on this board can definitely be construed as “weird freak”. Although perhaps not uncommon.
Do you ever just talk to one?
Like women thinking everything wrong with them can be summarized as “I’m too fat”, men seem to channel all their problems as “I’m too nice” (guess what, you’re not), “I’m not rich enough” (so why do so many poor white trash chicks get knocked up by their boyfriends) or “I’m not jacked enough” (you’re gay).
Again, I blame the Internet. Back in the day, you actually had to go out, meet women, be charming and attractive if you wanted to get laid or have a girlfriend. Now people just put all their profile information in some Match.com, JDate, eHarmoney or Tinder database. Of course people are going to develop bizarre views on women and dating if they are spending all their time cross referencing databases.
Huh. Another person that is a bit awestruck by the idea that women are people too (and also not all vapid cash vampires or something), and that relationships are about give and take where both partners form equal shares of responsibilities, burdens, and joys.
I am sorry that you didn’t apparently have many good relationship examples to draw from in your childhood. Most people learn about how to have good relationships by example of family members older than them - parents, uncles, grandparents, etc. That’s how most of us learned what entails a good relationship. Looking at those around us. (And sometimes learning what NOT to do, as well)
And the most important part of a relationship is communicating so that each person can have their needs and wants fulfilled. Even if, for instance, you end up in a stereotypical dom/sub relationship, that doesn’t actually mean that the sub is less important than the dom despite the whole power imbalance thing. It just means they get their emotional fulfillment in specific ways.
You can think of good relationships like yin and yang. What one lacks, the other provides.
my guess is you want the best of both worlds which is possible to achieve I guess. Somewhere you think being in relationship will affect your freedom or the times when you want to be alone without any company. This is whats stopping you from going for it fully.
Am I right?
If you really believe both of those two things to be true, then you are aiming too high and need to lower your standards, so you can be the superior one and find a woman who thinks she is not too good to date you.
If you can’t find any such women where you live, you might have to get in touch with one of those agencies which abound on the internet; selling brides from impoverished countries to men who live in first world countries.