What is a FWB (friend with benefits) to you? Do you currently have a FWB?
Describe your ideal FWB and common problems that arise in such a relationship?
Do you think having a FWB between committed relationships is healthy?
Do you think one would lose motivation towards seeking out their soul mate if they have a FWB?
FWB from a guy’s perspective = why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
My wife of nearly 20 years now started as a friend with benefits where we both agreed that was the extent of the relationship. I guess it didn’t work out that way.
Or, test driving a car before you buy it.
Or, test driving a bunch of cars you don’t intend to buy because cars are expensive to own but free to test drive.
Oh I thought you got your username from lurking on this message board for 5 years. Turns out you were lurking around a relationship 
I totally get the savings associated with free milk and not wanting to take on all the responsibilities that a new vehicle encompasses… Especially if variety is your spice of life.
Some guys actually DO want to have their cow on the premises for always and ever.
I know of some guys who want that new car but with intentions of keeping it. They want to put all those miles on it but they plan on taking good care of it so that it lasts the test of time… with them. But, eh… that’s another post for another time.
Okay, so it’s just sex. Wham, Bam, thank you ma’am. Women want sex too, without the burden of having to maintain a relationship.
What I want to know is, how do you keep it without allowing it to develop into something more. Evidently, it DOES happen… and 20 years of marriage sometimes follows.
For you others, are you saying that there’s never been a desire to know the woman more? You’ve never carried on a sexual relationship with a woman for whom you sincerly cared for and maybe even considered the possibility of loving?
I assume age plays a role because when you’re younger, and especially if you’re attractive, the more sexual encounters, the better but as you get older and less desirable, it becomes painfully clear that your options have dwindled down to those kinds of options that were once ignored, possibly.
I’m not really asking advice from online strangers, I promise…
Okay, here’s something I wonder about. In a FWB type relationship, what does the woman have to benefit? I’ve always perceived that it was much more difficult for guys to get laid than it is for woman. I’ve talked to guys at dating sites who claim they feel lucky if they receive three(3) responses out of the fifty (50) email messages they sent out. I also know from experience that the only attribute necessary to become popular at these dating sites is to be a woman. Ugly, fat, hooked on crack, no worries… all they want is a hole and maybe someone to accompany them so they aren’t attenting public events alone.
Am I wrong, please correct me if I’m wrong. I don’t understand all the posts at dating sites, craigslist, etc. from men who are seeking a FWB. I look at thier pictures and I wonder if they have something to offer… besides their “huge endowment and skilled tongue skills.” Have I missed something? Don’t get me wrong, there are all kinds of men and women out there and they range from one end of the spectrum to the other but seriously, wtf does a guy have to offer? Unattractive, uneducated, sloppy type women can leave their homes and chances are that they will be picked up on. It’s not very difficult… for any women. So why should women choose one guy over another for which to maintain a sexual relationship? Or is that what I’m not considering? Do people have more than one FWB?
“Soulmate” is an overused, overrated term. If you were interested for a long term relationship, you would not struggle with this question. Don’t overthink this shit…life has a way of throwing you bones that are sometimes worth picking up an smelling.
Billy Graham has an interesting insight into long term relationships. He was married for like 60 years to the same woman.
I suppose the tough part here is when one the “friends” becomes “committed”. The other friend may not have expected this or is otherwise unwilling to accept the amendment to the contract.
I’m not a woman, but the obvious answer is quality no-strings sex. Sure, it’s much easier for a woman to get “just sex” if that’s* all* she wants, but that’s not what many women want.
In a FWB relationship she has a partner who is a known quality, and who has incentive to give pleasure as well as take it. To continue with the food metaphors, why search through a bargain-basement bin for something edible when you know a guy who can cook you a nice steak the way you like it?
Sex is not an entitlement.
And frankly, it’s not all that important in life.
Holy Smokes!
Say, you’re not going to recklessly drive one head-on into a tree & then complain about how your insurance rates went up or how you didn’t have a “full replacement guarantee” are you?
…Are we still talking about cars…?
Well, if nobody had it, that would be kind of detrimental to life. 
Sex is very important to life, it creates life.
Where do you live that women routinely get hit on every time they leave the house? I sure don’t.
Sex is only “hard” to get as man if you are not well off, not particularly charismatic or not all that good looking or unfit. If a man has any of these attributes (money, charm, attractiveness/fitness) finding available sex partners is relatively easy. Super easy.
Beyond this not to get all Mars and Venus about it but women and men are wired somewhat differently with respect to the end goals involved in seeking connections. There is certainly a minority cohort of women who are all about sexual freedom and a minority cohort of men who want commitment, but in the main men primarily want sex first and connections second and women want connections first and sex second.
IMO 99% of the time an FWB relationship is agreed to by the woman as a last ditch method of control. If a woman identifies a desirable (sexually, emotionally, security-wise etc) they will go to some lengths to secure and obtain an emotional commitment from him including offering the option of a FWB relationship especially if they sense he is tentative or withdrawing and they really want to keep him in play. Getting pregnant accidently on purpose falls into the same category.
Is just a tool in the relationship toolbox to secure, however tentatively, a man you want to keep around.
I can attest to that.
By which, of course, I meant that sex is not an essential in an individual’s life. Noone has ever died from lack of sex. And too many people (including, I suspect, our OP) place an elevated importance on sex for sex’s sake, and seem to think they’re somehow inferior or failures in life because they’re not achieving the level of sex to which they believe they’re entitled.
…or are unwilling to have realistic expectations re the physical attractiveness of potential partners.
I don’t agree with your assessment that 99% of women use FWB as a method of control. I can only speak anecdotally of course but out of the handful of women I’ve spoken to on the matter, including some I have been FWB, they tend to go for men they think won’t get all googly eyes after the FWB deal is made. According to them, this can be a challenge too. Which is why some of them tend to go for the bad boy/asshole type, and one girl I talked to told me she only dates married men exclusively. Because she knows, the guy isn’t going to get emotionally invested in her.
I’m in Las Vegas, Nevada. I do tend to exaggerate a bit… maybe it just happens to some women and I’m assuming that it happens to all women because maybe I’m under the assumption that real life is like virtual life. I’ve checked out so many profiles and no matter how the woman looks or what kind of sketchy story she has describing herself, there are tons of men posting the same comments as the kind of comments seen posted for pictures of models.
Is it obvious that I don’t get out much?