If I were dating an attractive 19 year old woman I wasn’t sure I wanted to be with in the long term, I’d at least have the decency and the good sense to say anything to keep it going until you found out I was a 51 year old man and you came to your senses. I might not climb any mountain, cross any river, etc. but I would at least have the good manners to lie my ass off to myself and to you. Finally, after you came to your senses, I would not be sad it was over (outwardly), but happy it happened.
I think saying something like that is great, and I’ve said as much many times in my life. However, I always express optimism at the same time, saying things like “I really like how things are going and can easily see them lasting for a long time and leading to something long term and serious,” alongside things like “things may not work out for the long haul.”
When I started dating my current boyfriend we agreed to take it as a sort of experiment and see how things went. We didn’t commit to eachother “forever and ever” from day one, but we both went into it hoping that’s what would happen.
Basically, I think it’s very healthy to say something like “I’m looking for a long term committed relationship, but I know things are really new between us so we’ll take each day at a time and see how it goes.”
I think I may have an answer. People from some foreign countries are just really really blunt about certain things. I have noticed this amongst some Middle Easterners of various stripes and Indians as well. And Germans. It’s just a cultural difference, and I’m sure those same people think Americans are blunt to the point of rudeness about other things. I wouldn’t read anything into what he said, especially since it was factually correct. I just hope he is more sensitive in the future.
Much more importantly, didnyou take your username from the ink?
In Korean culture people make a difference between people you would date and people you would marry. I have friends who dated guys long-term but from the very beginning knew they did not want to marry these guys. So they dated them with a kind of deadline in mind from the start. They liked these guys, they were attracted to them, but they were not “marriage material” for whatever reason and that was that. I don’t know much about Iranian culture, but maybe the OP’s boyfriend is thinking along similar lines.
That is true. He is very blunt.
Maybe it has something to do with it.
And - yes!
I refuse to use any other blue. Only the best and brightest for me. 
It was going so great until you started liking him.
I honestly feel that way.
It was more fun before emotions got involved!
I think it’s important to point out, since this is your first relationship, that real relationships are nothing like what you see on TV or what they look like from the outside. Part of the process of maturing is learning about how relationships work by being in them.You learn that they are messy, complicated things and it’s pointless to try and force them to conform to some neat, clean fable.
He’s been through it before and realizes it’s unlikely to end in “happily ever after” married.
You can either accept his wise point of view or go through the whole “puppy love even his farts smell like roses” thing and when you’re his age you’ll understand.
Why? What’s the point? It seems like at least one or both of you have determined that this relationship isn’t going anywhere. Also keep in mind that at 26 he is definitely at “closer to 30 than 20, should be thinking about the future” age while you can’t legally drink in bars.
Bottom line is if the relationship isn’t going anywhere, why waste time on it?
Never ask a question you’re not prepared to hear the answer to.
Good lord, woman! Are you insane? That stuff is terrifying. 
What do you run it in? I haven’t been willing to use it in anything other than a refilled Pilot Varsity.
I bet Blue is a lot more mature than her 19 year old peers. Not unlike a certain 16 year old dating a 22 year old.
My gut reaction is that it doesn’t have any awful subtext. Reading the OP, I didn’t necessarily see what he said unusual, especially since English is not his first language. The vast majority of my EFL friends and acquaintances have times where they don’t quite know how to say something in English that conveys the precise meaning they intend. Either they blank on/don’t know a specific word, it’s an idiom in either their first language or in English, they’re really tired, or things like that. The overall gist of what they want to say or ask is communicated, but it will sound a bit odd or off.* Combine this with perhaps being from a much blunter culture and likely being more a pragmatist than a romantic, and there you go.
I would take it as he’s enjoying dating you but it’s still really early on, so it’s not a full-blown passionate luuurrrve fest. But he’s simply talking about how it IS and does NOT mean to imply anything about the future (like that it’s pretty casual … And will never develop more. Or that it’s pretty casual … But he definitely sees it intensifying). He’s enjoying your relationship in the moment and not worrying about the future.
- Like a reverse example, when a friend of mine was dating a German guy. Both of us had been taking German at uni (before they even met) and she liked trying to speak in German with him when possible. She wanted to describe some awesome couch she had seen and asked, “wie sagt man ‘fluffy’?” He had a hell of a time figuring out what word she should use, with him asking questions about the specific qualities of ‘fluffy’ - and even then the closest he could think of actually was closer to meaning ‘squishy’.
Honestly, he’s not saying the relationship is doomed to failure, he’s saying it’s likely to end. And of course it is! Most early relationships end, which doesn’t mean they’re failures or pointless to engage in. There’s a huge swath of relationship territory between fuckbuddies and committed couple headed towards a permanent commitment.
If you were a good deal older and very much interested in marriage, then there wouldn’t be much point in a relationship that seemed unlikely to lead to marriage. But you’re in your first relationship at 19! Not to mention only a week into more-than-fuckbuddy feelings yourself. Enjoy yourself and learn what it’s like to be in a relationship.
Just curious, why philosophical? He sounds honest and practical.
I need more details on the sex before giving an answer.
He is a 26 year old Iranian grad student and you are a 19 year old American in 1.5 month old relationship. The real world chances of this hookup lasting are infinitesimal. Regardless of how liberal his parents are his non-western social context and background is far different than you imagine re how he truly sees the proper roles of men and women no matter how deferential he is being right now. It is extremely unlikely he considers you someone he is going to marry and he is telling you this in an oblique way.
Many American women are shocked and disappointed to find their polite, deferential and attentive foreign boyfriends have a very different idea about what they want in a wife vs a fuck buddy girlfriend. You need to understand this sooner and not later.
That is an interesting way to look at it, thanks. You may well be right.
I don’t have any enormous problem with that. I wish I could ask about it without seeming insane though. I mean, it’s definitely not the time to ask about marriage. I’m just curious if he does indeed view it that way.
Well, I’ll just leave it for now.
Try a Pilot Metropolitan! It’s the perfect solution.
Not too expensive, yet still really nice.
Astro has nailed it.
He’s 26 and like you, he’s also having fun. I’m not sure he’s strongly motivated to be that honest with you right now. But if he were to say as much, would that change things?
I dated a girl from work many years ago. Two months into the relationship had you asked where it was going, the best I could have given as honestly as I might have tried would have been 
25 years later, here she and I still are. Nobody knows where anything that new is going.
The best answer is enjoy the ride and relax; it will go where it goes.