For those of you who remember my ex, and its good that I’m not with him anymore, well, I have found someone.
I had been in a class of his when we went to school. Been talking to him, by phone and messaging throughout the years.
My son and I stayed at his house about 8 years ago.
Something had glitched online, and I thought he blocked me. Then he told me he would never block me, which turned my feelings toward him.
He kept calling me sweetie, but I figured that was because we were friends.
It took a few months, but my feelings grew and I finally let him know, as he was hesitant.
So now I’m spending the weekend at his house.
Hes quite happy, as he’d been alone a long time after his last girlfriend died.
He rents a house, has income, isn’t handicapped, not an addict; not my type.
But after my ex, I decided I wouldn’t put up with being treated badly again.
He asked what I drank, went and got that, and more.
He has a wonderful christmas planned, and I’m feeling like Quinta Brunsons girl who can’t get a good date-hes doing This for me?
Yes, hes my age. Took me a bit to get past that, but my ex was young and how’d that work out?
So, wish me well.
Any advice is welcomed. I’m taking it slow, we shall see how it goes.
Good luck !
Good for you! Definitely take it slow and don’t overcommit; if the relationship has real potential, it won’t need to be rushed.
Sometimes, people who are used to toxic relationships may feel unsettled if they get into something healthy and peaceful, and they may subconsciously start to create drama. I hope this doesn’t befall you, but I personally recognize that a positive coupling feels different than a bad situation, and might even seem strange if you aren’t used to it.
So enjoy yourself, but be mindful of any feelings of weirdness. Don’t let insecurity take root, although it’s okay to call him out on any bullshit you encounter. But, mainly, feel free to take it slow (if not physically, then at least emotionally), so you feel assured that your expectations will be reciprocated.
Best of luck! And enjoy!
What Moriarty says is really, really good advice. May all be good for the two of you.
Thank you. So far, hes very nice. He made me spaghetti! Who else has cooked for me or taken me out? Been too long.
He seems to like me more than I like him. Not used to that.
His good friend is coming to lake county in 2 weeks to pick me up for us to a music event. I am 30 miles away.
Very pleased for you, SunLo. Hope you both fall deeper, and even more happily, in love!
Hes said he loves me already. Of course, we’ve known and talked to each other for years.
I have made a mistake here.
This was too much too early. I spent the last two weekends there, taking a couple buses. First night, he tells me he loves me. My ex did at 6 weeks in, but we’d been together almost every day so.
We had sex.
I had told my ex I wasn’t going to anymore unless I was married, and here I am doing it?
I won’t marry a non christian, and he definitely isn’t.
He even has (in my opinion only) demonic statuettes around.
He told me Our hearts are one.
He’d been alone for 20 years, which made me wonder why.
Hes social, knows people, goes to music events. He said women tell him they just want to be friends.
The sex was not good. There was no compatibility, rhythm was off.
I said we fucked. He said, no, it was making love.
I felt like I was with a woman.
Last weekend when we parted, he said he loved me, I didn’t say it back, as I was starting to realize this may not work.
Later he asked what was wrong, cause I didn’t say it back!
Admittedly, I was distracted about my finances that morning anyway.
I think he was/is needy, maybe desperate.
We mesh well as friends, hes nice and caring.
I dread telling him, as he will take it hard.
I need to work on starting each paragraph, and using paragraphs, with an indent.
Visually, my post looks busy. Sorry bout that.
Oof. 
Stage 5 clinger. This reminds me of what a friend of mine went through. She was just coming off of a divorce so she was briefly caught up in the romance but quickly realized how bad it was getting. When I read your post I just saw the giagantic red flag waving.
I somehow knew I wasn’t going to regret clicking this thread. Lmao 
What is funny?
Thanks for the update, SunLo, and I’m so sorry things aren’t going as well as you’d hoped. Is it worth salvaging and/or slowing down the relationship, or maybe not?
Not. A relationship, to me, is evaluating whether you would be compatible for long term; in my case, marriage.
I won’t marry someone who isn’t on the same page with me spiritually.
I guess I got caught up in the fact he cared So much for me, but theres a point where it crosses over into caring Too much, making it feel unequal.
I figure that may be the reason no one else has wanted him. Hes said women aren’t used to guys being that nice, and wondering whats the catch.
Also his bizarre fashion sense doesnt help either.
I will tell him tonight, maybe give him some advice on how to woo better.
SunLo sounds like an ancient philosopher, heh.
He sounds like a real oddball. You must have seen all the red flags immediately.
So break it off. You don’t owe him anything. You can use the excuse that a lot of women use with me: “I’m really busy right now, and I just don’t have time for a relationship.”
Perfect. You have your excuse. “I’m just really focused on cleaning up my finances right now. That’s why I’ve decided to stop dating.”
Or you could just tell him that he’s not buff enough 
Lots of rings and piercings, right?
Not buff enough, funny!
Not just the rings, on every finger and thumb and a few toes, bracelets, necklaces, which stay on during bathing.
Though he didnt seem to shower when I was there, first for 4 days, next for 3.
He wears clothes no man other than Elton John would wear.
I don’t want an excuse.
It was my fault for thinking it might work. I knew going in he wasnt a christian.
I now realize he doesnt really love ME, ( though I am lovable) he loves the idea he finally had a girlfriend after 20 years of trying.