Goldmember: Would you like a smoke and a pancake?
Austin: … What?
Goldmember: A smoke and a pancake. You know, a flapjack and a cigarette? No?
Austin: [shakes head]
Goldmember: Cigar and a waffle? No?
Austin: [shakes head]
Goldmember: Pipe and a crepe? No?
Austin: [shakes head]
Goldmember: Bong and a blintz?
Austin and Nigel: No.
Goldmember: Well, then there ish no pleashing you.
Austin: That’s not right.
“Yeah, three cheeseburgers, two large fries, two chocolate shakes, and one large Coke.”
“AND SOME FLAPJACKS!”
“Too early for flapjacks?”
Uh, I’m not very hungry; just gimme a double Polar Burger wit’ everything and a cherry soda wit’ chocolate ice cream.
As long as we got a dollar to spare, we eat good in this house.
Well, someone has to find an open store. We don’t even have milk here.
I ain’t tradin’ turnips with nobody.
I wouldn’t trade places with Edmund Exley right now for all the whiskey in Ireland.
To the glistening eastern sea, I give you Queen Lucy the Valiant. To the great western wood, King Edmund the Just. To the radiant southern sun, Queen Susan the Gentle. And to the clear northern sky, I give you King Peter the Magnificent.
“We’re all gonna die! And there’s nothing you can do about it… Susan!”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. And the name… is Ginormica.”
Watch your back, Jack!
Don’t worry 'bout me! I can take care of myself.
P-p-p-pow!
This is probably the first marriage I’ve ever seen that started out with a spanking!
Oo, hanky panky! Nothing like a good spanky!
There’s nothing to eat!
- Mark: Then how could you plow under your major crop?
- Ray Kinsella: What’s a crop?”
Morgan, this crop stuff is just about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend their whole lives. They’re like thirty now. They make up secret codes and analyze Greek mythology and make secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It’s a scam. Nerds were doin’ it twenty five years ago and new nerds are doing it again.
“Are all nerds as good as you?”
“Yes.”
“How come?”
“Because all jocks think about is sports. All we ever think about is sex.”
-“BB”-
Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet, detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria.
Extremely serious. It starts with a slight fever and dryness of the throat. When the virus penetrates the red blood cells, the victim becomes dizzy, begins to experience an itchy rash, then the poison goes to work on the central nervous system, severe… : At this point, the entire digestive system collapses accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence… Until finally, the poor bastard is reduced to a quivering wasted piece of jelly.