I got the report back from the contents of the vomit.
Am I going to want to stop eating for this?
Roast beef, mozzarella cheese, corn and raisins. Luckily, it had only been in the stomach a few hours, so it was only partially digested.
Take two aspirin, and call me in the morning. That’s a doctor joke.
I’m a doctor, not a torpedo technician!
“Why did you change over to the Navy?”
“Well, the freighter I was on was cut in half by a torpedo. Thought I’d like to be on the shooting end for a change.”
The first thing you’ve got to learn about this ship is that she was DESIGNED by GENIUSES, to be RUN by IDIOTS!
The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.
Yes, citizens, plumbing! It’s the latest invention to hit Rome! It moves water from one place to another! It’s astounding, it’s amazing!
…but aside from that, what has Rome ever done for us?
All roads lead to Rome.
But we Romans are rich. We’ve got a lot of gods. We’ve got a god for everything. The only thing we don’t have a god for is premature ejaculation… but I hear that’s coming quickly.
Look, I don’t know what’s bothering you, but don’t take your bedroom problems out on me.
I have no bedroom problems. There’s nothing in my bedroom that bothers me.
Oh-h-h-h. That’s too bad.
You have no idea the hell storm you fixin’ to let loose.
I’m half-horse, half-alligator and a little attached with snapping turtle. I’ve got the fastest horse, the prettiest sister, the surest rifle and the ugliest dog in Texas. My father can lick any man in Kentucky… and I can lick my father. I can hug a bear too close for comfort and eat any man alive opposed to Andy Jackson.
How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?.. Yeah… Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would’ve been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.
I don’t give a damn how many concussions he has left. Get Reggie Ray on the field! Fuck! Dammit!
I don’t wanna put any undue pressure on you guys, but Coach Gennero’s last words were, win or I’ll die.
And the last thing he said to me, “Rock,” he said, “sometime, when the team is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper.”
The last thing he said to me, “Doc,” he said, “some time when the crew is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to get out there and give it all they got and win just one for the Zipper. I don’t know where I’ll be then, Doc,” he said, “but I won’t smell too good, that’s for sure.”
If you put your effort and concentration into playing to your potential, to be the best that you can be, I don’t care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game, in my book we’re gonna be winners!
And even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we win! Even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days; even if God in Heaven above comes down and points his hand at our side of the field; even if every man woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn’t matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk because they’ve got all the money! It just doesn’t matter if we win or we lose. IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER!