MrDibble posted this a few days ago, and the ensuing fit of laugh-crying temporarily pulled me back from the brink of insanity.
Wrong end. I got yer animal analogue right here…

Absurd Creature of the Week: Um, This Leech Feeds on Hippo Rectums
The year was 2003, and Mark Siddall was in South Africa a-hunting the elusive hippo rectum leech.