I haven’t got the joke quite nailed down yet, but I assume Lindell will offer them jobs, since “close ties to the community” can be helpful.
I’m thinking it’s a form of featherbedding 
He’s going the Suicide Squad route:
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Surrender to Pillow Guy
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He says, “Join my Squad and use your proven cheating skills to help Trump win in 2024, or you’re going to jail!”
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Receive pardon from President-Again Trump.
Their fundraising pitches are hysterical and they’re all Trump, all the time. Donations to get your name on a card that Trump will actually SEE. Donations that enter you into a drawing to meet Trump.
I may have posted some of this before, but back in October I signed up for the Trump e-mail list for approximately 8 hours (I’m glad I used a throwaway account because even after I unsubscribed, they’d already sold the address to hundreds of “partners”, and that account was immediately drenched with several dozen e-mails a day.)
It was quite the adventure.
The seemed very anxious to warn me about Sleepy Joe and Phony Kamala and their Radical Socialist agenda that would destroy America. But they have the solution and it’s not voting. If I want to stop then I need to send…wait for it…money. Lots of it.
First, I got e-mails from Rudy Guiliani, Lara Trump and Eric Trump, all exhorting me to donate before midnight so my donation would be matched 700%. They never came right out and said that it was Donald Trump who would be matching my donation, but they implied it. But I ended up forgetting to send money, go figure. This caused a minor panic in Trumplandia.
Shortly after the deadline, Diamond and Silk dropped me an email telling me how important it was that we crush Joe Biden so Trump has agreed to extend the deadline another hour. I soon found out there was more to it.
Eric emailed me to tell me that his father was very disappointed in me but had agreed to give me a second chance by extending his 700% match for another hour! So they extended it just for me!
Then Don Jr send me an e-mail with a very scary looking table that showed my name (my real one even though I never gave it), my account number 
, and the word NONE next to end of month donation. Don Jr. really didn’t want to have to show my donor file to his daddy and he begged me not to let the President down.
But the President must not have been all that let down, cause he’d been emailing me directly all night telling me he wanted to see me. He wanted to impress me with his strength and watch him crush Joe Biden in the debate. He would pay my airfare, I’d get to stay in Trump’s favorite hotel and have my picture taken with him (or a VERY lifelike cardboard cutout). Of course, I had to make a donation to be entered for a CHANCE to win this golden opportunity.
But Donald told me I’m his special patriot and he really wants ME to be the winner, so I’m sure if I just send in a donation he’ll make happen. Or that’s what it sounded like…wink wink.
I also noticed that while he said the winner would get to stay at Trump’s favorite hotel, they never said they’d pay for it. So he’s probably going to make the winner pay for that overpriced room at some tacky Trump branded dinosaur with flaking gold gilt and filthy carpet.
Donald also offered, in another email, to send me a free gift if I made a donation. Before I could ponder what kind of gift wasn’t free, I got another email from the Donald J Trump account.
Someone that wasn’t Trump promised me that if I made a donation now they would put my name on a special list that Trump would actually see - and I would be #5 on that list! This sounded like an awesome chance to extend to a horrible person who had donated $0 towards Making America Great, and I took it as evidence of Trump’s forgiviness . But I wondered why someone else was sending emails from Donald’s account, and why they would be trying to get me to pay them to give Donald my name when Donald has already personally asked me to come see him in Washington.
And I had the same thought when Kimberly Guilfoyle asked me to pay to get my name put in a card she was going to give to Donald Trump. Little did she know that I’m already Donald’s special patriot and after I send my $100, he’s going to rig the contest so we can be together in his hotel.
But Donald J Trump was also very concerned that I might want a Trump Make America Great Again flag, or tee-shirt or hat and not know where to get one. I guess he wants to make sure he can recognize me when I go to meet him at his hotel, so I’ll need to buy the T-shirt, and maybe a flag.
Fox is outraged that Biden is keeping kids in cages.
Ann-Hedonia, thank you for going through all of that so that the rest of us don’t have to! I was interested to learn how the Trump cash-extraction operation utilizes the names (and accounts in those names) of not only the numerous Trump family members, but also of hangers-on like “Diamond and Silk.” Someone is being paid, presumably, fairly well in order to coordinate the cascade of scolding emails that you received when you failed to pony up. (Though as you noted, the coordination failed to ensure logical consistency in the scolding.)
(My emphasis.) I do realize that this is a commonly-experienced phenomenon on the internet. But even so: yikes.
Imagine if a political faction put as much energy and focus into policy-creation and implementation, as the Trumps do into extracting cash from their hapless fans. That political faction could actually solve the problems of the world!
WOW! This was a fascinating read!
I love this bit:
He wanted them to sue him! It’s all five-dimensional chess! Also, somehow “rebuttal” is now a verb!
When you get your ass handed to you, you need to go in for a rebuttal…
“Sorry, sir We’ll have to special order that size.”
Wonder I he will rebuttal them cyberly,
Well, the cyber is so big now.
Texas legislator introduces bill to charge women with death penalty if they have an abortion. The law also calls on the state Attorney General to enforce the law no matter what federal laws or court rulings say.
I am so tired of these jackasses. I wish they’d all drop dead, preferably from complications of syphilis. The voter-suppressing assholes can go with them. And right next to all of them should be a piece of paper saying, “Mene, Mene, Tekel”.
I often wish that the whole “Republicans are the party of evil” thing was just leftist hyperbole, but then another day goes by and another story like this pops up.
< le sigh >
MAGA MAGA TEKEL UPHARSIN
I don’t think it’s all of them, but the leadership seems to have fully embraced being the party of “I’m getting mine, and I’ll take yours, too”, and for some reason the voting Republicans keep electing them. That’s the part I don’t understand. And more recently, it seems like more and more of the voting Republicans are embracing the notion of “I’m going to make sure you don’t get things I think you shouldn’t have just because you’re [fill in blank], even if it means I don’t get it either.”
I just don’t get it. I’m tired of trying to get it.
Some people think of life as a competition, and they can only see themselves as winners if there is someone else that they can see as losers.
It doesn’t matter how low a standard of living they have, as long as they can see that there are others that are worse off.
Well what do you expect them to do? Vote for child molesting demon democrats?
I recently realized that my wife’s cousin LITERALLY believes that. As in, he’s genuinely convinced that’s what the democrats are. And he’s not exactly “wealthy”… from a practical standpoint, he definitely shouldn’t be supporting republican policies. But the only thing that matters to him is the alleged culture war.
I think there are a ton of people like him.
And this is the “Why” - because the news and social media bubble they inhabit has spent decades gaslighting them until they believe things that are the complete opposite of reality.
And as Voltaire once observed:
- Questions on Miracles [bolding mine]