But if you flip one of them, they push apart. Explain that! Especially since if you flip both of them, they still stick together.
Prolly something to do with Apes.
Well… Magnets have opposite ends. If two of the same ends come together, they push each other apart. If you have different ends – say a ‘male’ end and a ‘female’ end – they come together. PROOF that God hates homosexuals!
(Lord have mercy on my wicked soul. I sounded like a Republican there! 
)
I learned that in like fourth grade. It wasn’t that hard. I guess jocks really are fucking stupid.
Science (and my birth certificate) says I used to come from Wisconsin. If that’s true, why is there still a Wisconsin?
Well, science says man came from apes, and we still have apes. So if birds came from dinosaurs, why don’t we still have dinosaurs? Checkmate!
Jehovah’s Witnesses have the real proof, that I saw in one of the booklets once.
Evolution claims that fish can turn into birds or birds can turn into fish! Have you ever seen such a thing? Nobody ever saw a fish turn into a bird or a bird turn into a fish!
Two apes in the zoo, having this conversation:
Ape#1, having just read Darwin’s book, attempts to explain it to his cage-mate.
Ape#2, in astonishment: You mean to say I’m my keeper’s brother?
I had one that tried to argue that a BWV can’t spontaneously turn into a Volkswagen. When I started with “First of all, cars don’t reproduce…” the look of sheer panic in her eyes about not really understanding her own argument was both amusing and pitiful. I settled for a very brief and high level explanation of evolution and let it go at that, because I’m a nice person.
Tell them “Well, I never saw your great-great-grandfather’s great-great-grandfather turn into you, but nonetheless I’m still pretty sure that you’re descended from him.”
I think the “logic” is that evolution involves survival of the fittest, so the not-fittest shouldn’t be around anymore at all. Like, if black moths started to thrive because the Industrial Revolution coated trees nearby with coal dust, then the white moths shouldn’t be around anymore, because they were all eaten by birds who saw them easily against the black.
(Of course, in that particular case, the white moths came back, but that only matters to people who actually care about the truth.)
Ah, I see. Of course that’s still an ill-informed and dumb argument, but at least it’s less completely nonsensical than it initially seemed to me.
I would not jump to that conclusion. Maybe great grand mother…
It’s a wise child that knows his own great-great-grandfather’s great-great-grandfather.
If you confront one of them that last (bolded by me) point, they’d probably just change the subject. They wouldn’t engage with it.
It’s the 'I joined this cult so I’d never have to endure the pain of thinking again–give me my talking points; that’s all I want’ mentality at work.
One amusing counter (which, again, those who NEED to think this through would ignore, because they refuse to think) I saw today:
Therefore, dusting = abortion!!!
To forestall the rise of any competition?
Someone should tell Walker that @Cecil_Adams (and company) addressed that very question in 1999.
What’s a BWV?
A BMW that has flipped onto its roof?
I plead fatigue. Or maybe the JW was a Bach scholar, I dunno…