NEW Stupid Republican Idea of the Day (Part 2)

[Euphonious_Polemic]

@Chronos

I mean, you really hope you won’t have to do any major first aid while out hiking, but best to be prepared.

I carried one in a first aid kit while climbing. Very handy if you get an ice-axe puncture wound.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

None of you have come up with the thought that I had right away, looking at that bathroom photo? He’s talking about keeping our precious wimminfolk safe, right? And there’s that sweet innocent blonde being stared at menacingly by those DARK GIRLS. Connect the dots, people!

Edit: Okay, further down the thread, a couple of you spotted it too.

[Smapti]

A Virginia state delegate and 1/6 insurrectionist wants to charge congressmen with felonies if they write gun legislation.

Virginia lawmaker proposes felony charges for any member of Congress who...

[Love_Rhombus]

It’s….innovative, I suppose. And disturbing.

[ThelmaLou]

Musing…it occurs to me that the Republicans could accomplish their whole legal/law enforcement agenda in one fell swoop by changing the orientation of the judicial system from its historical stance, “innocent until proven guilty,” to the reverse: “guilty until proven innocent.” Much more efficient!

[smithsb]

@Smapti

A Virginia state delegate and 1/6 insurrectionist wants to charge congressmen with felonies if they write gun legislation.

In a related measure, he wants do dig up the signers of the US Constitution and mass execute them for including the totally misleading, “A well regulated Militia…” phrase in the second amendment. It was cramping his style on 1/6.

[Superdude]

@Euphonious_Polemic

@Chronos

I mean, you really hope you won’t have to do any major first aid while out hiking, but best to be prepared.

I carried one in a first aid kit while climbing. Very handy if you get an ice-axe puncture wound.

When I was working on the ambulance, we kept a supply of tampons and pads for both female issues and gun/knife/industrial wounds. They were fantastic for those sorts of injuries.

[Monty]

Wasn’t that their original purpose, treating wounds?

[eschereal]

@Buck_Godot

On the other hand I also don’t see how two black girls grimacing at a white girls washing her hands supports the notion of period equality.

I am not really seeing “grimacing”, as such. They have what I would call comparatively neutral expressions – perhaps conveying something like “glad that’s not happening to me today” ?’

[Monty]

You want efficiency? Tan the Conman wanted to give you efficiency! Just execute the accused. No need to have a trial.

[Superdude]

Yeah. But a lot of ambulances switched to ABD pads,

[Kimstu]

@Monty

Wasn’t that their original purpose, treating wounds?

More or less.

Before Kotex sanitary napkins hit the market in 1921, most women relied on homemade cloth pads (although some storemade cloth pads and disposables had been on offer since the late 1880s.) […]

For women who could afford such things and had access to them, there were options such as the “Hoosier” sanitary belt, which held cloth pads in place, or Lister’s Towels, possibly the first-ever disposable option, but the use of such products was not widespread, Mandziuk says. […]

Like a number of other products that first came to market in the 1920s, Kotex sanitary pads originated as a wartime invention. Kimberly-Clark, an American paper products company formed in the 1870s, produced bandages from a material called Cellucotton for World War I. Cellucotton, which was made of wood pulp, was five times as absorbent as cotton bandages but much less expensive.

In 1919, with the war over, Kimberly-Clark executives were looking for ways to use Cellucotton in peacetime. The company got the idea of sanitary pads from the American Fund for the French Wounded, according to historians Thomas Heinrich and Bob Batchelor. The Fund “received letters from Army nurses claiming they used Cellucotton surgical dressings as makeshift sanitary napkins,” the pair write. […]

Kimberly-Clark employee Walter Luecke, who had been tasked with finding a use for Cellucotton, understood that a product designed to appeal to about half the country’s population could create enough demand to take the place of the wartime demand for bandages. He jumped on the idea. […]

The name Kotex came from one employee’s observation that the product had a “cotton-like texture.” “Cot-tex” became the easier-to-say “Kotex,” creating a name that–like another Kimberly-Clark product, Kleenex–would become a colloquial way to refer to the class of product itself.

So the basic idea of using some kind of absorbent textile pad for menstruation hygiene had been around for a very long time, but the specific characteristics of the first commercially produced and marketed mainstream menstrual pads were, as you say, based on wartime wound dressings.

[Smapti]

@bobot

Next they’re going to blame WOKE for making them racist.

Conservative Historian Claims Diversity Ultimately Doomed Third Reich

[Monty]

I think “next” is not the right word there. That’s been one of the “go to” excuses for decades, IME dealing with racists.

[k9bfriender]

Why is Scott Adams’ blog showing up on the Onion?

[Horatius]

@Smapti

You mean woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, and woke?

Singing:

Wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ke!
Wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ke!
Wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ke!
Wo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ke!

Lovely Woke! (Lovely Woke!)
Lovely Woke! (Lovely Woke!)
Lovely Woke!

@ThelmaLou

by changing the orientation of the judicial system from its historical stance, “innocent until proven guilty,” to the reverse: “guilty until proven innocent.”

Nah, all that “proving” stuff is hard 'n shit, let’s just go with “guilty”.

@k9bfriender

Why is Scott Adams’ blog showing up on the Onion?

Because The Onion has finally admitted defeat?

[Maus_Magill]

@Horatius

@k9bfriender

Why is Scott Adams’ blog showing up on the Onion?

Because The Onion has finally admitted defeat?

“What’s my job now?” - Lewis Black, 2016.

[k9bfriender]

Upcoming article:

“The Onion gives up, reality wins.”

"For thousands of years, The Onion has delivered to trillions of readers the pinnacle of satire, exploring a parallel world of exaggeration and hyperbole to shine a mirror on our own, a caricature for sure, but a caricature that shows off both the flaws and the tribulations of our own world.

Today that comes to an end. We are no longer able to stretch the truth, no longer able to wrangle reality, no longer will we be able distort the view of the world into one of ridiculousness and absurdity. Reality has now acquired a monopoly on the absurd, and we just can’t compete.

From now on, we will engage in straightforward journalism, reporting on the actual who, what, when, and where of news stories. Because reality is stranger than fiction, and we just can’t make this shit up.

Thank you for your years of service,

The Onion Staff"

[Horatius]

You should seriously submit that.

[k9bfriender]

Unfortunately,

About The Onion

Can I submit articles or ideas to The Onion?

No, The Onion does not accept outside submissions of any kind. We will not respond to any unsolicited submissions.

Unless they meant that satirically.