NFL Picks - Here We Go Again (Week 5)

In My Humble Opinion
1

10-4 last week, not bad when you include the “upset special” pick of the Chiefs over the Broncos and predicting the farewell of a certain coach in Ohio. 43-15 on the year. By now you know better than to use my predicitons for all your betting needs, so I won’t even bring it up.

Giants 20 at Titans 23 (If this were in NJ, I’d go with the same score but reversed.)

Colts 16 at Bills 17 (Big win, short week, Buffalo wind…it all points to a Colt letdown.)

Ravens 31 at Browns 14 (Gotta hand it to 'em, unlike their Ohio brethren, the Brownies actually try to win.)

Vikings 28 at Lions 24 (Okay, I just traded for Daunte in my fantasy football league and I relly need him to score for me.)

Chargers 9 at Rams 28 (The Chargers will hold the Rams below their staggering season average of 40 points. Big deal, they still have no offense. As an aside, I can really see this game as a turning point for the Rams - the Chargers always seem to hurt someone on the other team and the Rams have avoided the injury plague far too long.)

Cowboys 20 at Panthers 30 (I will not pick Dallas to win until they start Cunningham again. And maybe not then either.)

Steelers 16 at Jaguars 24 (Dear Bill Cower, We’re sorry, but even though we screwed up your team still sucks. Love, the NFL officials.)

Dolphins 17 at Bengals 3 (The new coach inspires the Bungles and they actually score. Corey Dillon pulls himself from the game during the National Anthem.)

Patriots 10 at Broncos 27 (This week it won’t matter who starts at QB and RB for the Broncos - the Patsies are in town for their weekly beating.)

Bears 24 at Packers 23 (Okay, I really think the Pack will win this, but I have to pick some upsets, and the Packer fans are getting cocky again. Hey guys - You beat the Cardinals, get over it.)

Cardinals 17 at 49ers 31 (Mr. Owens, meet Mr. Teague. Mr. Teague doesn’t like to be shown up in front of the home fans. BLAM!)

Bucaneers 24 at Redskins 17 (The Bucs will be looking to punish someone after last week’s loss.)

Falcons 16 at Eagles 24 (I believe Chris Chandler is overdue his 900th injury. Danny Kanell to the rescue!! Yeah, right.)

Seahawks 24 at Chiefs 27 (I’m really tempted to pick the upset here, but just can’t do it.)

I see a good week ahead, raising my win percentage back above .750.

2

Gazoo, let me just tell you how much I appreciate reading these. They get funnier and funnier every week, and your assessment of the Bungles is dead-on.

And FTR, I HOPE you’re right on that second pick, although my head tells me that you’re insane.

3

Drain Bead - Thanks, I was hoping that people get a kick out of them!

4

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Gazoo *
Vikings 28 at Lions 24 (Okay, I just traded for Daunte in my fantasy football league and I relly need him to score for me.)
[/QUOTE

The Vikes are well-rested after the bye, and they’re getting a couple of offensive line starters back. They also have a great record coming out of the bye week. Denny Green just got a 4-year contract extension. The team is very healthy overall.

This obviously means that my beloved Vikes are gonna get their asses handed to them in the Silverdome.

I hope I’m wrong, but it generally works out that way.

5

Never bet against the Lions at home, no matter what their record. The Silverdome is a house of horrors. Superbowl champions go in and come out looking like high school teams. I shudder every time the Packers have to play there.

6

Speaking of the Lions, goboy might as well go ahead and get that prediciton for Thanksgiving out the way early.

7

oops meant Gazoo not goboy must me the similar lenght or something :confused:

8

No problem.

[pretending it’s week 13]

Patriots 6 at Lions 27 (Did I once say the Patsies would win 4 games this year? What was I smoking? They’ll be lucky to win one. Good to see Terry Glenn is back in the line-up, I wonder how long she’ll last.)

Vikings 35 at Cowboys 31 (Thank God! It’s about time they decided to go with Cunningham again. I know, Troy’s 15th concussion may have had some bearing on the decision. Do you think Dimitrius Underwood will absentmindedly get on the Viking plane home?)

[/pretending it’s week 13]

9

Just final: Vikes 31, Lions 24

And the Twins are leading the Tigers as I type this.

Detroit is being nice. :slight_smile:

10

This just in:

Rams 57
Chargers 31

Yeah, we won and all, but I hope there’s a real good reason the no-offense Chargers were able to score 31 points off us.

11

[baseball hijack] Twins lose 12-11. Jason Halter from Detroit plays all 9 positions and goes 4 for 5 at the plate with 3 RBIs. Season over. “Wait until next year!” [/baseball hijack]

12

We have an office pool, and two weeks ago, the Rams were 16 1/2 point favorites over the 49ers. I picked the 49ers to cover, though I did think the Rams would win fairly easily.

The Rams won by 17. Argh!

I learned my lesson: I picked the Rams the last two weeks. That team can score at will. (So much for the thinking that losing some of their O-linemen would hurt them, huh?)

Who the hell is Justin Watson? Could you or I rush for 100 yards in the Rams offense?

And with the relatively soft schedule the Rams play, I’m going to ask if anyone knows what the biggest point spread has ever been for an NFL game? We may see a record point spread this year, if the Rams defense gets their act together, and I actually think they will.

(In College, I believe those epic Nebraska vs. Lehigh games got a spread of about 50 or so)

13

#@$^%*& Lions!

14

I’m kind of a closet lines fan (Hey, I liked Lions as a kid.)

How in the world can they let Moss catch that pass thrown into DOUBLE COVERAGE with two Lion DB close enough to molest him???

My nomination for bonehead of the week award goes to Plaxico Burress, by the way.

15

DRY said:

That’s for damn sure–I almost had an embolism right there in front of the television. But much to my amazement, it didn’t matter.

16

** Skins ** win, 20-17.

Booya!

17

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by DRY *
**

In 1985 or 86, Nebraska played Minnesota. The spread was 55, and Nebraska covered.

Plaxico’s live-ball spike ranks right up there with the homerun that went off Canseco’s head.

18

Gazoo, your prognostication skills are truly scary. Can you give me tomorrow’s Supercash numbers?

Oh, and nice collision there, Butler and Williams. Practicing for when Moss comes to town?

19

Yeah, that was a nice Keystone Cops move by the Pack defense there! Sorry, no luck on the lottery numbers.

I have a feeling Mr. Burress will get mentioned in the comments for Week 6.

20

Steelers 24, Jags 13 - I think they suprised everyone there.

Though let’s not discuss Plexico’s ill-advised spike…