NFL Predictions Week 1

In My Humble Opinion
1

Looks like I get to carry the torch in the first week. Welcome back football loving Dopers. As this is the first week, it going to be short on details and long on wild ass guesses, oh…, and opinions not based in football. What the hell as Mom says even a broke clock is right twice a day. Anybody that wants to come and add spreads and o/u data is welcome, cause I ain’t gonna do it. This is the first week and I plan on going 16-0. Words to the wise for the newbies, I’m a diehard Niner’s fan. Pepperland girl really hates for anyone to dis’ Denver, too bad they’ve got Jake Plummer to give you plenty of ammunition. Lets see who else minty green hates Brett Favre (must be a Chicago fan, and here I thought those were extinct). Randy Moss is still an asshole, Terrell Owens still ain’t learned to shut his mouth, and the Bengals are still the Bengals, sorry to those NFL plans stuck in Cincinnati. Let’s begin…

First up…

Thursday or should I say tonight.

Jets @ Washington

I originally picked the jets, but I changed my mind. Take the Skins.

Arizona @ Detroit

The beginning of the season and two teams who aren’t going anywhere are first up. Hey this might be Marriucci’s chance to shine. Detroit by a touch, uh maybe. (get use to that, the man doesn’t know how to finish a game.)

Baltimore @ Pittsburgh

Has Bill Cower shaved that magnetic fuzz off his face yet? Look Don Johnson, and every now and then a guy in a truck commercial pulls it off. On everybody else it sucks. Want to go half way between full facial hair and clean- shaven go with a goatee, at least you’ll be current. Pitt by a three.

Denver @ Cincy

Even if Jakes manages to throw 5 interceptions, I don’t see Cincy winning this game unless Jake is the only one on the field in Blue and Orange. Denver by oh let’s say 10 yeah 10.

Houston @ Miami.

Anybody picking Houston in this game lives in Houston or needs to score a really bog payoff. Miami by at least two touches.

Indy @ Cleveland

See above replace Houston with Indianapolis.

Jax @ Carolina

The only thing I can say about this game is that I’m glad I don’t have to watch it. Take the home team when you’re not sure. Carolina.

Minnesota @ Green Bay

Favre and Co, over Moss and Co. See ya.

Pats @ Buffalo

This should be a late season game in the snow. I’ll take the Pats in this one.

San Diego @ KC

San Diego should pull this off.

St. Louis @ NYG

I expect the Rams too come out strong. I expect the Giants to play for pride. I’m tempted to flip a coin on this one, but Warner has had an entire off season to correct his throw. St. Louis by a bunch.

Falcons @ Dallas.

The Falcons could have been the team to beat in the NFC. <Homer Simpson> Stupid Preseason. </Homer> Dallas in a squeaker.

Bears @ SF

Just so you forewarned, unless space aliens kidnap Terrell Owens or an earthquake swallows Candlestick Park, I will be picking the Niners to win every game, despite logic, injuries or restraining orders. Niners by 10.

Raiders @ Tennessee

Oops left something out in my opening comments. I feel the same way about the Raiders as I feel about the Niners except in reverse. Tennessee by 10.

Bucs @ Philly

Probably the best game on the schedule. In my perverse desire to always pick at least one risky one I’m gonna take Philly.

2

Jets @ Washington

Jets, ol’timer Vinny is gonna take this one.

Arizona @ Detroit

Detroit

Baltimore @ Pittsburgh

The MIGHTY PITTSBURGH STILLERS! Here We Go Stillers, Here We Go!

Damn Proud Yinzer Here!

Denver @ Cincy

Denver but this, if anything, may be the upset. Not that Denver has anything to speak of but ya’ know… Cincy getting a win? It could happen.

Houston @ Miami.

Miami easily.

Indy @ Cleveland

Indy, mostly due to Cleveland Clown defensive ineptness.

Jax @ Carolina

Got to agree, crap teams, crap game, take the home field - Carolina for no other reason.

Minnesota @ Green Bay

Green Bay

Pats @ Buffalo

Buffalo - Malloy, if he plays, will be taking retribution.

San Diego @ KC

Chiefs

St. Louis @ NYG

I hate Jesus Loves Me Quarterbacks but St. Louis. Verily, I hope that Brother Warner has some unrepentant sin in his heart that the Good Lord will feel the need to smote him upon the field.

Falcons @ Dallas.

Falcons but I just want to see Dallas lose.

Bears @ SF

Just to be contencious, Be… Bea… Berrss… grr I just can’t say it. San Fran.

Raiders @ Tennessee

Raiders. :mad:

Bucs @ Philly

Igles.

3

Well, I had a detailed, brilliant, insightful post that delved into the burning questions on each of these games, predicted the winner/margin/score, etc. It took me over an hour to compose, including quick bits of research. Of course the f&@king hamsters ate it. Is there a law (similar to Gaudere’s) that posits that the more time and effort that goes into a post, the more likely the hamsters are to devour it?

Just in case you were wondering why I hadn’t put anything in here yet…

4

Jets @ Washington

I like the Jets here. Vinnie will shock and amaze.

Arizona @ Detroit

Detroit is really that bad. Arizona.

Baltimore @ Pittsburgh

One of the better matchups. Pitt, just because they’re home.

Denver @ Cincy

no brainer. Denver.

Houston @ Miami.

“Anybody picking Houston in this game lives in Houston or needs to score a really big payoff. Miami by at least two touches.”
I just can’t say that better.

Indy @ Cleveland

Upset. Cleveland is in disarray. Indy will take it.

Jax @ Carolina

ugh. can I pick Jaxalina? I’ll plug my nose and go Carolina.

Minnesota @ Green Bay

Vikes offensive line will dominate. Green Bay’s banged up and lost some key positions to free agency.

Pats @ Buffalo

Pats. I really don’t know why. Call it a gut call.

San Diego @ KC

Good old smash mouth football. Look for at least one season ending injury. KC

St. Louis @ NYG

StL is getting all the press, could they be the real deal? Nope. Sadly, the Giants aren’t the ones to prove it. StL by 7.

Falcons @ Dallas.

Falcons run roughshod through the unprepared Dallas D. Dallas scores through the air. Tough call, but I’ll go with the Falcons by 2.

Bears @ SF

The Bears will surprise you this year.

Raiders @ Tennessee

Nuther good matchup. I like McNair as a leader, so I’ll lean towards Tenn. I wouldn’t place any bets on this one.

Bucs @ Philly

Bucs make Philly look silly.

5

For tonight, I’ll go with my head over my heart and pick the Jets, 27-24. That’ll give me a couple of days to come up with inspiration on the other games.

Anyone got the point spreads handy?

6

If it’s slow enough tommorrow I may add them, but if someone beats me to it, I wont be mad :wink:

7

Jets at Skins(-3)

Jets will win it straight up, the skins will go 0-16

Rams at Giants(pickem)

Who knows how the Rams are going to show up this year, but I’m going to go with the Rams in this one.

Pats at Bills (pickem)

This should be a good game, I pick the pats on the road.

Raisens at Stillers(-5)

Steelers win and cover, even with “killer” healthy, the Raivens D isn’t as good as it was 3 years ago. Get over it.

Jags at Panthers(-4)

Panthers but not because they are hosting. Because the Jags are bad.

Texans at Dolphins (-14)

Dolphins win but don’t cover.

Colts at Browns (pickem)

This could go either way IMHO, I’m going to go with the Colts 'cause I got Manning in 2 Fantasy Football leagues.

Broncos(-6) at Bengals

Broncos win and cover, but barely. Cincy isn’t THAT bad this year, they will win 7.

Cards at Lions(-4)

Lions win and cover, the cards get worse ever year.

Vikings at the Pack(-5)

Some idiot on tv picked the vikings as his upset special. They are lucky they get the frozen tundra in September, but not lucky enough to win.

Bolts at Chefs(-5.5)

Both teams are hoping for great playoff seasons. I like the talent on the Chargers (LT and Boston) and pick them to WIN on the road.

Falcons at Cowboys(-2)

Falcons win.

Saints at Seachickens(-3)

Whoa, the seahawks are favored? I know they finished strong, but its SEATTLE! Saints win and Holmgren is fired by Christmas.

Bears at niners(-7)

Bears are not the team they were 2 years ago, it really was a fluke. Niners win and cover.

Da Raiders at Titans(-3)

Titans win and cover over the geriatric bunch.

Bucs at Eagles(-3)

Same as the NFC Champ game of last year.

8

The Packers will win! The spirit of Lombardi said it, I believe it, and that settles it!

In Favre We Trust!

9

Well, I’m not recreating the whole long spiel I had written up before, but just to get it in before the wire, let’s go with Jets 27-21. I’m not sure if that’s what I had before, as far as score, but that is the result. My guess is that the old age and treachery of Vinnie, Martin, et al will win out over the youth and skill of Ramsey, Coles, Gardner, Canidate, etc. Plus I like C-Mart over Trung on a wet track.

10

You’ll never make it.

No, seriously; you only picked 15 games.

11

hey you’re right, ikay 15-0, I got one already :smiley:

12

Nobody else then?

13

Texans win! Hah! They’re my team, too! Go Texans! :smiley:

14

He sure did. My Bills did me proud today. :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

15

ShibbOleth-there is a way to overcome that problem.

If you type up a post longer than 3 or so lines, C&P it. Every time. At first it’ll annoy you, but you’ll gat so used to it it’ll become second nature.

Oh, and GO STEELERS! :smiley:

16

Man way yesterday wild or what! Oh and How yall like dem Niners?

17

No freaking way! Bucs all the way!

18

I’m 8-7 so at least I’d have made money.
Oh, and GO STEELERS! :smiley: