NFL Week Five by Five

The Game Room
1

Things I think I know, but I’m probably wrong about.

  1. It was a travesty that Miami put Tua back into the game two weeks ago, then lied about it being a “back injury”. It was even more of a crime that they started him last Thursday night. They’ve got their “independent consultant” scapegoat, but further investigation should result in huge fines for the Dolphins. But no matter what the findings are or what new “protocols” the NFL enact, shit like that will continue to happen until coaches, consultants, and the players themselves put safety before the hyper-masculine desire to play football with a brain injury.

  2. Offensive line play really does matter. Elite offensive lines (Eagles, Chiefs, Lions) can make an average team/players great (Goff’s/Jamal Williams resurgence in Detroit, the development of Jalen Hurts). Bad offensive lines (Bears, Rams, Steelers) can really crush a team’s offense (Rams’ are nowhere near as good as last year, and poor Justin Fields). Trading up to get your “franchise QB” is all well and good, but unless you protect him and give him a running game, you’re only setting him up to fail.

  3. What the hell happened to Matt Ryan? Not only isn’t he as good as he was last year, he’s absolutely horrible. The offensive line isn’t helping, but that is one big cliff he’s fallen off of. Same thing with Russell Wilson, who looks kinda lost sometimes. And no, Cooper Rush and Geno Smith aren’t solutions to your teams’ QB problems.

There’s not much news outside of the Tua investigation. Blake Bortles retired. Matt Rhule may be gone if the Panthers lose Sunday. And another Sunday morning game (Yippee!) to enjoy.

Here’s your games:

THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL, 10/6 8:15 PM

Indianapolis IND +3.5 +150 o42.5
Denver DEN -3.5 -170 u42.5

SUNDAY 10/9

Super Early, 8:30 CST

NY Giants NYG +8.5 +290 o41.0
Green Bay GB -8.5 -360 u41.0

Early

Pittsburgh PIT +14.5 +640 o47.0
Buffalo BUF -14.5 -895 u47.0

LA Chargers LAC -3.5 -160 o47.5
Cleveland CLE +3.5 +140 u47.5

Chicago CHI +7.5 +260 o44.0
Minnesota MIN -7.5 -320 u44.0

Detroit DET +3.5 +135 o45.5
New England NE -3.5 -155 u45.5

Seattle SEA +5.5 +200 o46.0
New Orleans NO -5.5 -240 u46.0

Miami MIA -3.5 -170 o44.0
NY Jets NYJ +3.5 +150 u44.0

Atlanta ATL +8.5 +310 o48.0
Tampa Bay TB -8.5 -385 u48.0

Tennessee TEN -2.5 -140 o42.5
Washington WAS +2.5 +120 u42.5

Houston HOU +7.5 +270 o44.5
Jacksonville JAX -7.5 -335 u44.5

Late

San Francisco SF -6.5 -280 o39.0
Carolina CAR +6.5 +235 u39.0

Dallas DAL +4.5 +180 o43.0
LA Rams LAR -4.5 -220 u43.0

Philadelphia PHI -5.5 -230 o49.0
Arizona ARI +5.5 +195 u49.0

SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Cincinnati CIN +3.5 +150 o48.5
Baltimore BAL -3.5 -170 u48.5

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL10/10

Las Vegas LV +7.5 +270 o51.0
Kansas City KC -7.5 -330 u51.0

Matt Ryan v. Russell Wilson carried a lot more interest a decade ago, but now, not so much. With the loss of Javonte Williams (fuck fantasy football!) and the mediocrity of these two Qbs, the game doesn’t hold much interest to me.

Of course, I’m thrilled to have a Sunday morning game, and, lo and behold, it’s the Packers. On one hand, it’s great for me to see the whole game uninterrupted. On the other, I don’t have an excuse for the rest of Sunday, so it’s likely a yard work/paint the bedroom/deep clean the bedrooms day after the game. C’est la vie.

Luckily, none of the early games really intrigue me. It’s fun to see Jacksonville be a -7.5 favorite (for the 83rd time: Fuck Urban Meyer), and the Chargers/Browns game could be a very interesting watch depending on injuries. But other than that, not much.

Of the late games, both Dallas/Rams and Eagles/Cardinals games look like they could be fun. I’m unsure about all these teams (except that, without Kyler Murray, Kliff Kingsbury would have been back in college by now), and watching them to see if Dallas’ defense is really that good, if Stafford is that bad, if Hurts has been feasting on weak teams, and if Kyler can stop singletargeting Hollywood Brown would be fun.

Sunday night should be a good game. Divisional rivals, both with Super Bowl aspirations, and a couple of young stud Qbs should make for a fascinating game. I’m still waiting to see if it is Zach Taylor’s idiotic conservatism or a lack of protection by the Oline that has robbed the Bengals of their offensive excitement. Probably a little of both.

Monday could be fun to see if Mahomes gets weird again, but watching the Raiders lose isn’t as much fun now that they’re without Jon Gruden.

So, which games interest you? How is your team doing this year? Which QB has let you down the most this year? Let’s hear from you.

2

Yes and, apparently, we are “stuck on stupid” because this is something we continue to do over and over again. I remember Jay Cutler getting sacked 9 times IN THE FIRST HALF at the New York Giants years ago. It was horrific.

3

As a Chiefs fan, I am ecstatic about the the o-line play thus far this year. Last year that unit struggled at times, and KC had an average-at-best rushing attack. Sunday night showed what a difference an improved offensive line can make.

To be fair, the Rams o-line has been decimated by injuries this year, and they lost their starting center during the MNF game against the Niners.

But your overall point is well taken.

4

In gossipy news, Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen have reportedly both hired divorce attorneys. If true and they go through with it, I wonder if public perception of Brady will start to shift from warrior-who-won’t-give-up to selfish asshole (not that I’ve ever had a different opinion).

5

Somewhere in the Good Place, Jason Mendoza is crying.

6

All of the NFC West teams are tied in the standings after 4 games. Ain’t no one predicted that.

7

How will Packers fans get loaded before an 8AM game?

8

In other news that only affects me. In my IRL $$$ fantasy league I drafted Trey Lance, Javonte Williams, Kyle Pitts, CeeDee Lamb and Michael Thomas. Things are NOT going well.

9

Taylor Denney is a Chiefs fan who now works at a bar in Phoenix. Early Sunday morning he placed a ten dollar bet on a 15 game parlay, in which he attempted to pick all 15 winners. After 14 games, he had picked 14 winners. If he got the last one right, he would win over $74k. The betting parlor where he placed the bet offered him $23k to cash out the bet. He refused, choosing instead to let it ride, hoping to win the last game and the big payout.

Alas, he had picked the Rams in the Monday night game.

10

Dude, c’mon. After a good Saturday night, that’s not even a challenge. Hell, many may not even sleep.

11

I was gonna say…have you ever met a Packers fan? For that matter, have you ever met a football fan from anywhere? The beer cans don’t have time-release lids.

12

The Eagles look great. It’s hard to say that without adding in some Negadelphian equivocation, but it’s probably unfair to say they are worse than 3rd overall in the NFL. I wouldn’t argue if you put Buffalo ahead of them, despite the record. Buffalo has a better point differential against better teams. I’d have some argument over KC, MIA, DAL, and GB, but it’s close. For this week, I’m concerned. Dallas is next week, so this game has all the looks of a classic “let down game on the road” where the team is too focused on the future opponent. Arizona isn’t good, so maybe the game is closer than it should be. It will be very interesting to see if Sirianni is the quality of coach who can keep his team from looking ahead and stay focused on today

I became a fan in 1992, and I’ve only seen an Eagles team start 4-0 three times. Only once did they reach 5-0. If the Eagles do win at Arizona, and Dak isn’t back by next week and they win at home… they play Pittsburgh at home with a rookie QB, at Houston, home against Washington, then on the road against a surprisingly terrible Colts team. Could they be 10-0 going into the Green Bay game? It doesn’t look unreasonable, but it feels unreasonable

Assuming Philly is as legit as they look so far, we’re officially on Howie Roseman watch. He loves to trade and swings more deals than anyone. He especially loves to go all-in when he sees his roster can compete, and he has the ammo to make a major move happen. I would be shocked if he didn’t do something in the next month before the deadline. A small deal for a complementary RB makes sense, but isn’t critical. Instead, I think he goes after a DE like Yannick Ngakoue or Brian Burns. Someone on a collapsing team with either an expiring deal, or a younger player who still hasn’t reached their peak

13

Bloody Marys, starting at 6am, of course!

14

I find it odd that the Vikings and Saints played in London last week, and they are playing this week too. In past seasons, it seemed that the teams had a bye week after Euro-trips. Am I remembering wrong, or is this a new thing this year?

15

You remember correctly. From nfl.com last year:

Per the AP, in the 60 occurrences teams have played in London since the NFL began its International Series in 2007 – excluding the 2020 hiatus due to the COVID-19 pandemic – 55 teams have had a bye week to follow.

16

For the Saints, they are going to be playing another week without their starting QB. Winston is out, and so we will be treated once again to the Red Rocket himself, the Ginger Ninja, Mr. Andrew Gregory Dalton!

17

Oof, this is a painful game. Defenses are pretty good, but they’re not being challenged in the least. Ugly.

18

Colts go from a first and ten at the 15 to a 3rd and 38. They managed to get enough yards on 3rd down to convert a 52-yard field goal. 6-3, Broncos, at half.

19

2nd really bad interception by Ryan. This game is garbage, I’m done.

20

I don’t know I’ve ever heard announcers actively shitting on a game and admitting how bad it is let alone a tie game in the third quarter. Al Michaels was saying this is so bad it rolls around to good again and the other dude was not having it.