Here we go again. Another year of NFL football. Some major changes in the offseason, none more important than me no longer rooting for the Browns and instead me rooting heartedly against the Browns for giving $230 million dollars to a serial sexual harasser/assaulter who insists he did nothing wrong. I know my nfl allegiances is the #1 story of this NFL offseason. On the plus side, the biggest asshole in sports, Urban Meyer, slunk back into whatever septic system spawned his horrible form and is no longer in the NFL. Little Victories!
Other tidbits: Tom Brady misses 11 days of training camp over either marital issues or an appearance on Masked Singer. The WR market goes absolutely insane. It started with the “braintrust” at the Jags, who started the whole thing by giving a guy (Christian Kirk), who hasn’t had a single 1000 yard season in his career, one of the largest WR contracts in history. This led to inflated WR contracts, including major names being traded (goodbye Davante Adams; Enjoy Tua Tyreek Hill; Good Luck with Jalen Hurts AJ Brown; Good Job suckering the Cards Hollywood Brown) and making bank. And, of course, QB drama as Kyler Murray throws a fit to get a new contract and control over the roster, Russell Wilson leaves Seattle for Denver, and Baker Mayfield gets traded to the Panthers.
And there are a lot of interesting questions to be answered this year. Is the proliferation of mobile QBs with issues in the passing game, like Jalen Hurts, Trey Lance, Daniel Jones, Justin Fields, and Mitchie Trubisky going to lead to a change in NFL play? Can they find success? How much did the aforementioned walking pile of waste Urban Meyer hold back the Jags? Will Trevor Lawrence become a real live NFL quarterback like he was expected to be? Can NFL owners become even more sub-human? Jimmy Haslam and Dan Snyder are setting quite the bar. Oh for the days when billionaires getting handjobs at massage parlors was the owners’ biggest worries.
Enough blather, we have a whole season for that. Here’s your games, and lines, this week:
Thursday, September 8th 7:20 pm
Buffalo Bills (-2.5) at Los Angeles Rams (+2.5)
Sunday, September 9th
Early
New Orleans Saints (-5.5) at Atlanta Falcons (+5.5)
Cleveland Browns (+2.5) at Carolina Panthers (-2.5)
San Francisco 49ers (-6.5) at Chicago Bears (+6.5)
Pittsburgh Steelers (+6.5) at Cincinnati Bengals (-6.5)
Philadelphia Eagles (-3.5) at Detroit Lions (+3.5)
Indianapolis Colts (-7.5) at Houston Texans (+7.5)
New England Patriots (+3.5) at Miami Dolphins (-3.5)
Baltimore Ravens (-6.5) at New York Jets (+6.5)
Jacksonville Jaguars (+3.5) at Washington Commanders (-3.5)
Late
New York Giants (+5.5) at Tennessee Titans (-5.5)
Kansas City Chiefs (-4.5) at Arizona Cardinals (+4.5)
Las Vegas Raiders (+3.5) at Los Angeles Chargers (-3.5)
Green Bay Packers (-1.5) at Minnesota Vikings (+1.5)
Night
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-1.5) at Dallas Cowboys (+1.5)
Monday Night Football
Denver Broncos (-5.5) at Seattle Seahawks (+5.5)
The NFL starts out with a premier game as everybody and their cousin’s Super Bowl participant prediction Buffalo Bills face the Champion St. Louis (oops, I forgot for a blissful second that Stan Kroenke was an utter lying douchebag), I mean LA Rams. Should be a helluva game and a great start to the season.
Of the Early Sunday games, the Browns v. the Panthers has that “revenge game” sizzle as Baker Mayfield takes the field against the team that would rather have a sexual assaulter than him as their QB. But I’m more interested in the Eagles v. Lions. I’m on the Dan Campbell bandwagon and I’m rooting for the Lions, and I’m fascinated to see if it was just poor WR play that had Jalen Hurts struggling in the passing game.
Of the Late games, clearly the Packer game is of most interest to me, but if I’m honest, the Chiefs/Cardinals game could be so much fun. They might put up 100+ points in that barnburner. Definitely worth a watch.
Sunday night will be interesting too. Seeing if Brady needs to knock off some rust, and if the Cowboys are for real will be intriguing.
Oddly enough, I find the Monday night game likely the most tedious. I get the whole revenge game (See Baker Mayfield), but the Seahawks are not a good team, and the game could be incredibly boring.
So, which games are catching your fantasy. What was your favorite off season story? Who in the NFL do you hate with the fire of a thousand suns? Let’s hear from you.