It seems to happen with some frequency that I’ll watch, er…see a woman walking along, and I just happen to notice something stuck to her backside. Large piece of lint, a thread, crumbs of toast, a small piece of paper or something.
And I always have the urge - whether or not I know the woman - to somehow discretely inform them, 'cuz I’m thinking they’d really want to know so they can discretely do something about it.
But I’ve never said anything, knowing there’s a good chance it won’t go over well. I don’t want to be thought of as a leering pervert.
How would you handle this? Is there a way more delicate than “Hold still Barbara, lemme get that for you.”?
ummmmm… Ma’am… I was just over there starin’ at chicks butts, an’ I noticed that ya gotcher skirt tucked up into yer pannyhose… thought ya should know…
“I couldn’t help but leer, uh, I mean notice that you have some lint on the clothes that are hugging, almost caressing your firm, round buttocks. O happy lint…would that I were in its place, even though you’ll doubtless want to brush it away, discarding it as you discard the fragments of my longing heart.”
No? Okay, how about this:
“I really like your jeans. The lint pattern across the back really helps camouflage anything that might get stuck to the fabric. Oh, that’s not permanently affixed? Never mind.”
If you don’t want to seem a leering pervert, make sure that any item you mention is in fact a fairly obvious piece of detritus. Single cat hairs or tiny flecks of dust aren’t going to give the impression that you noticed them just by a casual glance.
I once took a few quick steps to catch up with a young lady in order to let her know that the zipper on the back of her slacks was open. I can’t for the life of me remember how I phrased it, but I must have used the right approach because I have no recollection of being slapped. Nor, unfortunately, did she ask me to zip it up for her.
