so i had been in an exclusive relationship with a guy who was a known player. out for dates all the time, home to the parents several times, long nights of just talking and we waited a long time before hooking up. we were both in college and it worked for us then i graduated and he was living with his wild and crazy single player “bros”. this very easy girl lives next door. they all say she is crazy no way he can like her (she cant hold her alcohol for shit and he even ditches her at bars) and she invites herself to go on trips with them. one trip to visit friends ended in their friends saying she was crazy and not to bring her back. well, this guy and i obviously ended our relationship bc i wasnt ok with sleeping around but he always came back to me. he cries over losing me, says she means nothing she is just convenient and easy. whenever im in town he makes a point to see me, if she is with him he will still try and be all over me, tells me he loves me, cries to my friends he loves me but uses her bc shes easy. but of course, while he says all this to me and i reject him he just goes and sleeps with her. and other girls too. she was texting and my friend saw how he was texting her compliments and being very flirty and friendly via text and invited her over for dinner and a movie. now all his friends say all this shit about her and he does too but hey shes the one with him not me. i called him out he said that he and her have an agreement and he has no feelings for her and that she isnt the dating type that they just enjoy hanging out and have fun sex. sounds like the ideal realtionship to me. what then isnt the dating type. if he “loves” me why does he go to her. why does he still even try to get with me in the first place when he knows it causes drama? why not go straight to her? why invite her over for dinner and movie and hang out all the time (shes close with all his roommates) if he has no feelings? im so hurt please help me at least understand a guys perspective on sex!
i KNOW he says sweet nothings to her, my friends saw it. is this to butter her up and keep her around? but why do that if you have a no feelings “agreement”. can guys really hang out and hook up SOBER with a girl and hang out all the time (shes their neighbor and close with his friends), invite her for dinner and a movie and NEVER develop feelings? now he has made it clear he wants to have fun his last year in college and he sleeps with several other girls right now too but he graduates in less than a month and will be very close to me. he says hes graduating soon and wants to be with me shes just easy but seems like a lot of effort for easy. why does he STILL try to get with me when he knows the drama and baggage it comes with? why not go straight to her or another one of your easy girls…
No, you were not. Ever. He fed you bullshit and you bought it. From the looks of it, you still are.
Get sober, get some self-esteem, get a shift key.
He wants his cake to eat it to. And you’re letting him get away with this.
Look there’s nothing wrong with dating a lot, or sleeping around a lot, as long as everyone is cool with it.
YOU ARE NOT OK WITH THIS.
It’s like he wants anchovies on pizza and you hate anchovies. You’re eating the anchovies and wondering why the pizza tastes bad. Because it has something on it you don’t like.
Some day he may change his mind or not.
In the meantime you need to break and move on.
That means no more emotional support to him, no more backsliding and most of all getting out their again and finding someone else. There are like Seven BILLION people in the worlds, so the odds are with you 
It’s hard to let go of someone you care about, but you can call a skunk a rose all you like but in the end it still stinks.
The reason he acts like he does is because he likes to. And you’re letting him. You can’t control his behaviour but you CAN CONTROL the way it effects you.
Honestly life is too short not to stop things you don’t like. Do you really want to be on this board five years from now complaining about this guy? Or do you want to be in a relationship with someone who suits your needs.
As Sylvia says, “You can’t find love on a one way street.” So it’s time to change direction. It’s scary to leave a familiar situation but it needs to be done. Others have done it and they have no more intelligence or backbone then you. It’s just a matter of figuring out where to start.
Good luck.
Because he can. You have a very skewed perception of your relationship with this guy. He’s not doing anything a billion other guys haven’t done. He’s saying whatever he has to to ensure he continues to get some from you when he wants it. You’re just too deluded to admit that you’re not much more than a BC to him.
Yes, yes, I know, you don’t give it up every time. Right? But you do give it up enough times for him to string you along. You want a relationship. He wants sex with many girls, with you in the mix. Either admit you’re ultimately okay with this arrangement, or tell him you’re not and watch him walk away for good, which would be better for you in the long run, but only you can live your life.
Many if not most young guys are like that. Getting their rocks off is the only thing that matters and they’ll do anything to make that happen. The little head makes all the decisions. Most of them are bad lovers who don’t really care about their partners’ orgasms. Many of them have never heard of multiple orgasms and don’t care enough to try to provide them for a woman.
You need a sensitive older guy who can give you all the orgasms you were meant to have.
Ahahahahahaaaaaa! Now that’s just wrong. 
The kind of guys you like will not be monogamous with you. This is just a fact. I can tell from the way you are writing and the vibes you are giving off that you are at a stage in your life where you prefer these kind of guys, whether you want to admit it or not. And that’s fine. Just accept that they will not be sexually exclusive with you.
When you’re 10 years older or so…things will probably be different.
I can tell from the frantic and clearly emotional way you’re typing that this guy has a good deal of emotional sway over you. And that’s fine. Go with it. You’re young, have fun. Just don’t feel guilty about seeing other guys behind his back, because he will keep doing it with you.
This is not true, do not accept this behavior because you think all guys are like this.
This man (Last year of college, he is a man) most likely doesn’t have the same type of feeling towards other people that you have and that’s why you’ll never understand him. To him other people are only there to use or get something from but he doesn’t care if he hurts them. Just walk away from him. I now men who have been like this since their early 20’s and it’s pathetic and sad.
The guys who just like to play the field and not get tied down because they’re young don’t usually pretend to have committed relationships and then sleep around. They just sleep around. It’s usually easy to tell the difference.
+1
Also, learn how to separate your “sentences” into paragraphs. It is very hard to read a solid block of words without capitalization. It makes you look like you are 13 years old (and your diatribe reads like it too.)
Lastly, you are SO being played as a sucker. Of course he is going to play around as long as you let him keep coming back. What motivation does he have to be honorable to either of you women? None whatsoever because you both let him play around.
Yay! 
I actually gave up trying to read the OP. There are reasons why people use capitalization and caps, and this is just rude.
He does love you, deeply, powerfully, truly, for about 10 minutes at a time, but he doesn’t think of you at all during the other times. This is why it confuses you: he doesn’t appear to be lying about his feelings, because he isn’t. They really are how he feels for that particular minute, but ten seconds later he can be feeling a completely different set of emotions, and none of them are about you. He enjoys the drama of winding you up, of playing the tragic victim of his hormones, of seeing you torn between your anger and your affection. But the rest of the time? He doesn’t even remember you exist.
For you, you could never turn that intensity of emotion on or off: if you felt how he feels about you in those intense conversations, you’d feel it all the time. So you assume he must feel it all the time, too “deep down”. But there is no deep down for this guy. When he’s with you, he genuinely, passionately loves you and doesn’t understand how he could ever be with that other girl. And when he’s with her, it’s the same way.
Let me put it a third way: you know how sex is really, really interesting until you come, and then it’s weirdly boring? And while you are building up to orgasm, it’s unthinkable that you’d ever find this boring, and after you come, it’s unthinkable that it was ever interesting? He thinks you are really, really interesting until he’s got what he wants (sex, or just intense emotional conversation) and then, like a switch is flipped, you’re boring.
Cut this man-child out of your life. He’s a hollow shell of a person and everything really wonderful you see in him is an act.
He loves you in as much as he loves that you’re nice to him and keep taking him back (and sleeping with him) even though he’s fucking this other girl.
Why is he screwing her? Because she’s easy and available, and you put up with it.
Dump him, and don’t even be his “friend” or otherwise deal with him. He’s thinking with the wrong head, and at the very least, screwing someone who’s “crazy” may get anyone associated with him - like you - swept up in some kind of big drama from her.
The only thought I have beyond “ah, the problems of youth” is:
What you’re describing is pretty much the OPPOSITE of No Strings Attached sex.
And DTMFO, if you’re sick of the scene and find someone who treats you like a human being.
Dump this douche. Ba-dum-tish.
My God, where?
Pretty clearly, it worked on the other girl, it’s worth a shot with you. He doesn’t hold you, in high enough regard, to feel fidelity. But since you’re still hanging in he see’s you as ripe for the picking.
He thinks all girls are like the ‘easy’ girl, you included. He just hasn’t hit on the right spin for you yet, but he’s working on it. And you would appear to be close to falling for it.
Any man who talks shit about the woman he’s sleeping with, to you, is barely worth the time it would take to scrape him off your shoe.
Congrats on graduating, now use your damn shift key, would ya?
You don’t need our help, he told you his perspective on sex
He enjoys sex, he finds women who would enjoy having sex with him, so he has sex with them.
Your problem isn’t his perspective on sex, it’s his perspective on relationships. Obviously he’s not interested in a monogamous relationship with you. If you want a monogamous relationship with a man, it’s not going to be with him.
OK I laughed out loud.