Non-heterosexual women of the SDMB: A Poll

In My Humble Opinion
21
  1. What do you identify as? …Lesbian/Dyke
  2. How short is your hair? …Completely shaved [previously short & spiky]
  3. Is it a natural color? …Blonde
  4. If you play sports, what are they? … -
  5. Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay? …Not before I shaved my head. Now they do.
  6. Do you shave your legs? …Yep
  7. Your head? Your armpits? …Yes, yes
  8. What about the queer female community annoys you? …Hmm…nothing at the moment. I’m sure something will in the future though.
  9. What is your idea of dressing up? …Lipstick, mascara…that’s about it
  10. Do you wear makeup? …Not usually, no
  11. What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. ) … I have a shaved head, I tend to not wear ‘girly’ clothes [ie - dresses, heels, makeup etc], I have a girlfriend [does that come under “things I eat”?], rainbow bracelets, hmm…that’s about it
  12. What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to? … Ani DiFranco, K.D Lang, Tori Amos…the usual
  13. Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing? … Nope
  14. Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl? … Actually yes. Yes I was
  15. What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues? … General female rights, the right to marry, the right to adopt
  16. How good is your gaydar? … pretty accurate
  17. How “incestuous” is your dating scene? … Umm…
  18. Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)… monogomous
  19. Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you? … I’ve never dated a man, but I’ve had, ugh…‘relations’ of the intimate kind with them in the past
  20. Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture? …we’re all seen as man-hating butch dykes who don’t shave their legs
  21. Tell me a coming out story. Doesn’t have to be yours. Funny, tragic, whatever: … I’ve come out to everyone except for my father and my two brothers. My friends all know, I don’t try to hide it. It’s not something I’m ashamed of. The reasons why I haven’t told my brothers and father is because:
    a) My father always told us that if his children were ever gay, he’d disown them.
    b) I’m not sure how my brothers would take it…they wouldn’t be negative towards me…they’d just be shocked, I guess.
22

Ok why not…

  1. What do you identify as? Lesbian

  2. How short is your hair? Always long. Past my shoulders. It looks best that way.

  3. Is it a natural color? yep

  4. If you play sports, what are they? No sports. I’ve never been good at them. I like to ski, though I haven’t done it in years.

  5. Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay? Depends. Straight people don’t often spot me. Most queer folks do.

  6. Do you shave your legs? Yes, though I can be lazy about it.

  7. Your head? Your armpits? Armpits- absolutely. Head - that really wouldn’t be a good look for me.

  8. What about the queer female community annoys you? Wacko lesbians. Exes who don’t go away.

  9. What is your idea of dressing up? I have never ever liked wearing dresses, so it’s nice pants and such for me.

  10. Do you wear makeup? No.

  11. What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. ) Listen to all the required music. I’m a meat-eater, but I am willing to eat tofu and such if it’s put in front of me. I’d have cats if I could.

  12. What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to? Most of 'em - Indigo Girls, Melissa Etheridge, Ani DiFranco, Melissa Ferrick, Michelle Malone, Catie Curtis etc.

  13. Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing? Hmm. Well it isn’t anything I identify with but some women do.

  14. Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl? No not Catholic.

  15. What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues? Same-sex marriage, health.

  16. How good is your gaydar? Usually pretty good, but a few allegedly straight women have thrown it out of whack.

  17. How “incestuous” is your dating scene? It’s the same everywhere. You can’t escape.

  18. Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.) Definitely serial monogamy. At present I’d just like a date.

  19. Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you? Had a boyfriend years ago. Not likely to happen again.

Coming out story: My parents asked me. Got that out of the way nicely. These days, if I’m, say, starting a new job I just find the biggest gossip and tell them. :wink:

23

Are you serious here? Or is my irony meter busted?

24

  1. What do you identify as?
    Lesbian, dyke… whatever

  2. How short is your hair?
    Very short. Often it is shaved down to a military “high and tight”. Right now it’s almost finger length, and it’s driving me nuts. Time for a haircut.

  3. Is it a natural color?
    Yep. Brown

  4. If you play sports, what are they?
    Sports? Not a chance… But I play a good game of Diablo2 on the PC.

  5. Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?
    Yes… I’ve had coworkers take one look at me and tell me I was “So Butch”. (??)

  6. Do you shave your legs?
    I don’t own a razor

  7. Your head? Your armpits?
    Again… No razor. But I’ve been tempted to shave my head.

  8. What about the queer female community annoys you?
    Tendency to embrace all things “artsy - fartsy” (movies, etc) Can’t stand touchie/feelie stuff either. And no, I don’t want to read the book de jour of the month and “analyze” it with you. WHY CAN"T YOU PEOPLE LEAVE ME ALONE!..

ops… Sorry. Lesbian email list is getting on my nerves with this crap recently.

  1. What is your idea of dressing up?
    Dockers, a decent shirt and my “good” boots.

  2. Do you wear makeup?
    Nope. Unless you count heavy use of eyeliner in the 80’s. But everyone was doing it then.

  3. What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. )
    Do? I love to go hiking and do outdoorsy things. (does that count?)
    Wear? Boots. All my shoes are boots. Hiking boots, construction boots, cowboy boots. Gotta have boots.
    Eat? Being a hardcore carnivore, I’m always at odds with my lesbian cohorts.

  4. What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to?
    Indigo Girls, M.E. KD Land. Ani. All the typical ones.

  5. Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?
    I find it laughable. I try to be “me”. If that also happens to make me butch… shrug Oh well.

  6. Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl?
    Nope. But I dated one once. Not sure how repressed she was though.

  7. What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues?
    No comment. These kinds of questions makes my stomach churn. See #8.

  8. How good is your gaydar?
    It’s okay. The gals that dress/act more like a mainstream hetero throw me off though.

  9. How “incestuous” is your dating scene?
    Old circle of friends was pretty bad. Not sure about the new friends, but I suspect it’s just as tight.

  10. Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)
    U-Haul. I’m pretty domestic and like having my lover around.

  11. Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you?
    Last guy I dated was back in high school some 15 years ago (just before I came out). Haven’t looked at a guy since.

  12. Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture?
    Well, I’m not very immersed in popular culture. I don’t watch TV, read popular mags or anything like that. So I don’t really know.

and in closing,

  1. Tell me a coming out story. Doesn’t have to be yours. Funny, tragic, whatever.
    Nothing too exciting for my coming out. Pretty boring.

I came to the realization that I was gay when I was about 16. I have always been pretty self analyzing, so I was able to figure this out without any outside influence. I had always looked at girls and thought about girls in a sexual way. I was raised in the deep south and there were no other lesbians at my highschool. If there had been, I probably would have figured it out sooner. I’d been having these thoughts since I was about 13 or so.

Anyway… The very day that I admitted it to myself, I told my best friend. She advised me NOT to tell my parents. So I go home and tell my parents. I told my Dad while we were driving to the store. His knuckles went white on the steering wheel. I seriously thought he was going to stop the car and make me get out. Her must have told Mom that night. There was a brief parent freak-out period and then everything settled down. I guess it was easier on them because I wasn’t actually dating anyone.

A year later, I starting dating a gal at school and the folks were very, very good about it. Her folks were not (insert tragic story here). People at school were okay with it too.

I think that most of the people around me acted okay with it because I never acted as if it was anything to fuss about. This is how I am. I’m not ashamed of it. It’s nothing to fuss about. Nothing to see here. Move along. Know what I mean?

Okay. Boring storytime is over now.

25

  1. What do you identify as? lesbian, queer, and occasionally, dyke

  2. How short is your hair? almost to my waist

  3. Is it a natural color? yep

  4. If you play sports, what are they? I’m a total spaz, hated PE in high school.

  5. Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay? Only when I’m with my girlfriend

  6. Do you shave your legs? every now and again

  7. Your head? Your armpits? ** thought about it, yes, every 2 or 3 days**

  8. What about the queer female community annoys you?I agree with the alternate spellings of woman, and why do all lesbians (around here anyways) must always have a bottle of beer in hand?

  9. What is your idea of dressing up?button-up shirt, nice pants, cute girly-boots, make up, hair done

  10. Do you wear makeup? almost everyday

  11. What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. )Ummm, I scare the redneck people around here.

  12. What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to? I’m a big Lilith Fair fan, I like Melissa Etheridge a lot too.

  13. Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing? I’m the femme half of a “butch-femme thing” and I am "me"

  14. Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl? hardly

  15. What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues? Marriage rights, child adoption, acceptance

  16. How good is your gaydar? about 80% accurate, my g/f and I like to point out the FDA (Future Dykes of America) at the playground where our daughter plays.

  17. How “incestuous” is your dating scene?Was really bad in HS, there was a little group of about 5 of “us”, always switching and being jealous

  18. Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)serial monogamy, definitely

  19. Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you? I did in high school, not anymore though. Its working quite well

  20. Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture? I think the recent rash of breakups of celebrity lesbian couples isn’t potraying us too well, especially with Julie Cypher AND Anne Heche saying that they aren’t really lesbians now. Thats all I’m going to say about them. Don’t even get me started!

and in closing,

  1. Tell me a coming out story. Doesn’t have to be yours. Funny, tragic, whatever
    When I broke up with my (last ever) boyfriend to go out with my (irst ever)girlfriend, he called up my mom and dad and left a huge long message on the answering machine saying that “Jennifer is dating girls” blah blah blah. My mom deleted the message and said “What business is it of his?” Things have been great, there has been no lesbian “issue” in my parents house and all my girlfriends have been greeted warmly. YAY for parental acceptance!
26

Daowajan gets upset over the bisexual stereotype:)

Also on 13) The elder generation didn’t really know about transexuals untill the 80’s. So alot of female to male transexuals just identified as lesbians.

27

  1. What do you identify as?
    Lesbian

  2. How short is your hair?
    Above the ears. And very spikey.

  3. Is it a natural color?
    No. Just had it dyed - a dark copperish red

  4. If you play sports, what are they?
    I used to play all kinds of ball sports. Now I just do yoga. Not terribly into group sweat.

  5. Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?
    I get mixed reactions. Close friends joke that I couldn’t be any gayer. New people that I come out to are sometimes genuinely surprised.

  6. Do you shave your legs?
    Sometimes

  7. Your head? Your armpits?
    No - my head’s an odd shape. I don’t think it would be flattering. Pits - yes.

  8. What about the queer female community annoys you?
    Not annoy in as much, but I do get a lot of weird stares from some of my lesbian friends when I tell them I’m not interested in taking part in some Pride party or march. Not all of us want to be ‘out and loud’. I would rather show my pride in my own quiet way.

  9. What is your idea of dressing up?
    I have dark suit which I wear often to weddings, funerals, company dinners. There’s also rare footage of me in a dress.

  10. Do you wear makeup?
    Just some light foundation to cover my spots.

  11. What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. )
    I wear covered shoes all the time. No heels. I buy my shirts and socks from the men’s department. I sometimes wear a silver earring in my left ear. I have tattoos (not stereotypically lesbian, but I thought I’d mention it). I read a lot of Jeanette Winterson. I rank Desert Hearts as one of my fave movies of all time. I buy magazines with pictures of Cate Blanchett in them because I think she’s a hottie. I occasionally bitch about the fact that I can’t buy queer magazines where I live (see Q15) . I live with a cat. I am not a vegetarian but I am moving towards eliminating meat from my diet. (And I know I’m going to let my gf read this but)I check out women. All the time.

  12. What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to?
    kd lang, Indigo Girls, Michelle Shocked, Tori Amos but these form just a fraction of my music collection. Right now I’m listening to Massive Attack.

  13. Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?
    I do catch myself doing the ‘gentlemanly’ thing occasionally - like holding doors open for women, giving up my seat, sending her home first. It’s not a role-playing thing for me. I just do it because it’s nice to put others first. Other than that, you do what you’re comfortable with.

  14. Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl?
    I was raised a Catholic, but for some strange reason my parents sent me to an Anglican all-girls’ school. Was I repressed? Not really, but I sure was confused.

  15. What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues?
    Well, one very important issue to me, living in a place where homosexuality is an offence, is to have a greater number of people realise that being gay doesn’t make you less adept at doing your job, doesn’t make you a child molester, doesn’t mean you have less spirituality or ‘family values’ than the family next door

  16. How good is your gaydar?
    Rather.

  17. How “incestuous” is your dating scene?
    Again, rather. At one point, one of my friends quipped “What are we, Melrose Place? Isn’t there anyone else out there we can date?”

  18. Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)
    I did the fling thing way back when but decided I’d prefer serial monogamy. I am prone to crushes though, both as crusher as well as crushee. I’ve been with my current girlfriend for two and a half years now. She’s a keeper.

  19. Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you?
    Yes I have. I get along great with men, and I really liked the ones I dated. But I always felt as if something was missing. Never felt the urge to sleep with any of them though.

  20. Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture?
    Okay, enough with the lesbian who has to die tragically at the end of the movie.

and in closing,

  1. Tell me a coming out story. Doesn’t have to be yours. Funny, tragic, whatever.

My coming out story in short - My father was beginning to suspect something was going on between me and my friend G. So one night he took me aside and demanded to know if G was gay and that if she was ‘influencing’ me in ‘that way’. I went very quiet and said ‘No, actually, it’s me. I’m gay.’ Immediately after, my dad took me out for a round of beer and told me firmly that I was never to see G again. My pastor invoked hellfire. My mother gazed at every close female friend with much suspicion. Everybody I knew wanted me to see a psychiatrist. I went on a suicidal keel. It took me years to find a little stable ground but I did.

28

am i naive? i love the movie fried green tomatoes, and i never thought idgie and ruth were lesbains. or had any kind of romance. i just thought they were like soul friends. maybe it’s because i’m a moron, or because i’m not gay and haven’t been exposed to very many gay people…i don’t know. that just took me by surprise (sorry for the hijack)

29

**

**

Great - now I’m going to have to get even smarmier.

30

Well, I’d like to join in, here goes:

31

I knew it was time to take the old I-meter to the shop.

32

Okay, here we go!

  1. What do you identify as?

Queer, Kinsey 4.5. I have this thing for Eddie Vedder that makes me hesitate to call myself a lesbian, but I don’t mind if other people call me one.

  1. How short is your hair?

Shaggy eye-length bangs in front, past the nape of the neck in back. I prefer to keep it short, but I am growing it out to give to charity.

  1. Is it a natural color?

Yes, never been dyed.

  1. If you play sports, what are they?

I am quite unathletic and my health is poor, so no sports for me. I used to lift weights, though.

  1. Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?

Eh, probably not terribly terribly gay…

  1. Do you shave your legs?

No.

  1. Your head? Your armpits?

No and no.

  1. What about the queer female community annoys you?

That I can’t get a date with anyone who isn’t insane.

  1. What is your idea of dressing up?

Anything nicer than my usual jeans, tee-shirt, and flannel shirt uniform.

  1. Do you wear makeup?

Only as part of a costume.

  1. What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. ;))

I wear Docs and flannel shirts. I’m not a vegetarian like many lesbians, but I don’t eat red meat.

  1. What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to?

The Indigo Girls. That’s about it.

  1. Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?

Silly, but people can do whatever they like I suppose.

  1. Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl?

Nope. Not even Catholic.

  1. What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues?

Lack of mainstream visibility, poor health care, and substance abuse.

  1. How good is your gaydar?

Fairly good. I sometimes miss, but have never had a false positive.

  1. How “incestuous” is your dating scene?

I don’t date, but as for my general scene – it’s a small school, so pretty incestuous.

  1. Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)

Did not date for years due to my tendency to get involved with the insane. Made an exception to my rule for about six weeks last year to date the woman I now refer to as “Psycho Girl”. Decided I really was better off alone.

  1. Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you?

I went on a couple of dates with guys when I was >14. Does that count?

  1. Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture?

Queer women in popular culture are virtually invisible. Once we get some more representations I will worry about whether they are good or bad.

33
  1. What do you identify as?-bi
  2. How short is your hair?-below my shoulders
  3. Is it a natural color?-natural yes…my own…no.
  4. If you play sports, what are they?-no
  5. Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?-nope
  6. Do you shave your legs?-very rarely
  7. Your head? Your armpits? No. Yes.
  8. What about the queer female community annoys you? Attitude toward bisexuals.
  9. What is your idea of dressing up?-something other than jeans or corduroys.
  10. Do you wear makeup?-lipstick sometimes
  11. What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. )Do-I like girls Wear-Pants and “comfortable shoes” Eat-vegetarian
  12. What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to? Ani Difranco, Blur, Indigo Girls, Dar Williams,KD Lang…
  13. Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?I’m femme…I prefer other femmes…other than that…to each their own.
  14. Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl? Not at all.
  15. What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues? 1. Having a voice. 2. Having laws protect them. 3. Having sterotypes rethought.
  16. How good is your gaydar? Pretty darn good.
  17. How “incestuous” is your dating scene? What scene? :frowning:
  18. Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)whatever
  19. Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you? Just fine.
  20. Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture? I’m sick of seeing lesbians/bi’s for the most part portrayed as butch…there are all types.

and in closing,

  1. Tell me a coming out story-My best friend and I came out to each other within a few months…such a wonderful weight was lifted from both of us.
34

It’s much more explicit in the book, but yeah. What always cracked me up was how the rest of the characters accepted it so nonchalantly.

35
  1. What do you identify as?

Lesbian

  1. How short is your hair?

Just past my ear lobes. I tuck it behind my ears.

  1. Is it a natural color?

Yes. Very dark brown.

  1. If you play sports, what are they?

I jog, canoe, golf.

  1. Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?

No. Most people don’t believe me when I tell them I am gay.

  1. Do you shave your legs?

Yes.

  1. Your head? Your armpits?

I do not shave my head. I do shave my armpits.

  1. What about the queer female community annoys you?

I don’t really like the use of the word “queer”, I don’t like people who are “in your face” about being gay and I can’t stand it when people say shit like, “You should tell your parents…they’ll take it better than you think.” Yeah? Well, I know my parents and you don’t - so when I want the advice of someone who doesn’t know the first thing about them, I’ll ask. Until then, mind your own damn business. (Whooeee, that gets me fired up, doesn’t it??) I also really dislike how much the gay community tends to jump from relationship to relationship.

  1. What is your idea of dressing up?

Putting on a nice skirt, dress, or suit.

  1. Do you wear makeup?

Yes.

  1. What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. )

Hm. I play golf. I guess that’s stereotypical.

  1. What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to?

Indigo girls.

  1. Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?

Hey, we’re all women. But when it comes down to who I am attracted to…It’s FEMME all the way. I’m completely turned off by butch.

  1. Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl?

Well, I’m Catholic, gay, and I went to Notre Dame. Of course I was repressed!!

  1. What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues?

Hm. Employment insurance for partners, pregnancy care, and relationship advice.

  1. How good is your gaydar?

With men, it’s pretty good. With women, if they are butchy, it’s pretty easy. If they are femme, I have more difficulty.

  1. How “incestuous” is your dating scene?

REE-DICK-U-LUSS. It’s totally ridiculous - everyone has slept with everyone else. Thank God my girlfriend stay out of it all.

  1. Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)

Hm…a few long term (year in length), date around, never cheat, always give it my full attention. Currently in a relationship I hope is my last. I love her dearly.

  1. Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you?

Dated a few guys in college but always knew I was gay. Obviously didn’t work.

  1. Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture?

No.

and in closing,

  1. Tell me a coming out story. Doesn’t have to be yours. Funny, tragic, whatever.

During orientation in law school, I was talking with a small group that consisted of 1 guy and 2 girls. The guy asked what everyone’s situation was. The first girl said she had a boyfriend. Second was engaged. He looked at me and asked if I had a boyfriend. I said, “No…” He said, “Do you want one?” I said, “It’s fair to say I’m not looking for a boyfriend.” His response, “Why? Are you gay?” I said, “Yes, I am.” Shocked the hell out of them. :slight_smile:

Tibs.

36

Okay, I’ll put in my 2 cents worth.

  1. Lesbian
  2. Short, two inches on the top, barely there everywhere else.
  3. Natural-Dark brown
  4. Only ones that you can drink beer at the same time.
  5. Usually they think I’m a guy first, then the gay thing.
  6. Occasionally
  7. Head, no. Armpits, rarely.
  8. Girlfriend tag.
  9. Khakis and a dress shirt
  10. No
  11. Birkenstocks and baseball caps.
  12. Etheridge- and a couple of local groups
  13. If it works for you- go for it. Me? Feh.
  14. Recovering Catholic
  15. Gay marriage and adoption rights.
  16. Pretty good, but far from perfect. I’ve been thrown off.
  17. See question 8.
  18. What dating patterns? Reference questions 8 and 17.
  19. Once, never again.:wink:
  20. Can’t think of any right now.
  21. One day at work, a new coworker came up to me and said, “I’m queer!” I said, “So am I, and your point is?” He said it because he thought I was gay. We both had a good laugh at that one.
37
  1. What do you identify as?
    Hetero to the max.
  2. How short is your hair?
    Shoulder length
  3. Is it a natural color?
    Yes
  4. If you play sports, what are they?
    Whitewater kayaking and rafting, cycling
  5. Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?
    They used to back when I was in college.
  6. Do you shave your legs?
    Rarely.
  7. Your head? Your armpits?
    Never my head. Always my armpits.
  8. What about the queer female community annoys you?
    Not much, really, except for their propensity for listening to Melissa Etheridge.
  9. What is your idea of dressing up?
    Skirt/dress–gotta be comfortable. More jewelry.
  10. Do you wear makeup?
    Rarely.
  11. What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. ;))
    I do not dress/behave in a way that men generally find attractive.
  12. What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to?
    None.
  13. Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?
    The strict nature of the butch-femme gender roles concerns me. One thing that I like about most of the lesbian couples that I know is that the people do not fall into strict gender roles, and seem to be very comfortable with the fact that my husband and I do not fall into strict roles ourselves.
  14. Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl?
    Nope.
  15. What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues?
    Three related issues:
    Medical care
    Poverty
    Inability to marry.
  16. How good is your gaydar?
    Terrible.
  17. How “incestuous” is your dating scene?
    I don’t date. I’m married.
  18. Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)
    Formerly serial monogamy. Now marriage.
  19. Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you?
    I dated only men. Never women.
  20. Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture?
    Anne Heche is truly evil.
  21. Tell me a coming out story. Doesn’t have to be yours. Funny, tragic, whatever.
    Well, back in my old college days, everybody thought I was a lesbian. I fit all the stereotypes–wore jeans & boots or birks, very short hair, butch aspect. I shared a bed with my best female friend. I took said female friend as a date to my sorority formal. I had no idea why people thought I was a lesbian, since it was so obvious to me that I really liked guys. I didn’t know that I fit the stereotypes. Oh well.
38
  1. What do you identify as?
    Bisexual, even though I date mostly men.
  2. How short is your hair?
    It’s somewhere between my shoulder blades and waist.
  3. Is it a natural color?
    It’s close enough. Probably a shade darker than my natural color, and curly as heck.
  4. If you play sports, what are they?
    I play basketball, soccer, and softball–I used to play on varsity teams, but now just for fun.
  5. Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?
    Nope. Most don’t know.
  6. Do you shave your legs?
    Yes.
  7. Your head? Your armpits?
    No and yes.
  8. What about the queer female community annoys you?
    A lot of lesbians won’t date me because I’m bi.
  9. What is your idea of dressing up?
    I break out the short skirts and the knee-high boots. And corsets.
  10. Do you wear makeup?
    Sometimes. Not usually to class or running errands, but if I go out or do something special.
  11. What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. )
    I eat a lot of vegetarian dishes, even though I’m not a vegetarian (except during Lent). I don’t wear Birks. I DO check out girls.
  12. What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to?
    Indigo Girls, Ani DiFranco, Rufus Wainwright, Jill Sobule…but I listen to a lot of music, and most of the musicians I listen to are male.
  13. Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?
    Butch can be okay, but I’m 95 percent femme and tend to be attracted to femme.
  14. Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl?
    Nope–I was a repressed Southern Baptist who became a liberated Catholic wild child.
  15. What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues?
    I really can’t think of three, but I can think of one: men objectifying lesbian relationships.
  16. How good is your gaydar?
    Oh, it’s pretty bad. I just don’t guess and wait for people to tell me.
  17. How “incestuous” is your dating scene?
    That’s a problem here. Everyone dates everyone else. I have a boyfriend right now, so I don’t really think about it.
  18. Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)
    Serial monogamy.
  19. Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you?
    As I said before, I date mostly men (due to a lack of interested females). It works just fine for me.
  20. Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture?
    Good representations…I guess the Indigo Girls.
    Bad representations…Ellen, that girl-on-girl scene in Wild Things, etc.
  1. All right…a coming out story. I had a friend named Jamie who was always very effeminate. He would date girls, but the relationships wouldn’t last long and everyone pretty much knew. When he finally came out in college, no one was really bothered by it. It was the same for my friend Garrett, although I yelled at my friend Michael for acting homophobic towards Garrett. :rolleyes:
39

/slight hijack/

Is anyone else reading this thread like you would read the personals… too athletic, not political enough, LOL…

So, Lamia, how YOU doin? :slight_smile:

40

Straight chick doing the quiz for kicks…

  1. What do you identify as?
    Heterosexual – I’ve wondered in the past if I might not be bi, but I’m pretty sure I prefer guys.

  2. How short is your hair?
    About chin length, but I haven’t had it cut in a while.

  3. Is it a natural color?
    I’m a natural blonde! :smiley:

  4. If you play sports, what are they?
    I’ve played volleyball, softball, and field hockey, but was terrible at all of them, and in high school I didn’t have enough time for sports and theater, so I stuck with the one I was good at.

  5. Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?
    No, but when I was in junior high they did.

  6. Do you shave your legs?
    Once in a while, in summer.

  7. Your head?
    I would look terrible if I did.

Your armpits?
Occasionally.

  1. What about the queer female community annoys you?
    Can’t think of anything in particular…

  2. What is your idea of dressing up?
    It counts as dressed up if I’m wearing a skirt.

  3. Do you wear makeup?
    As a general rule, only on stage.

  4. What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. ;))
    Birkenstocks, hiking boots, flannel, folk music, being quasi-vegetarian.

  5. What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to?
    Erm. Not sure…

  6. Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?
    Never seen it IRL…

  7. Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl?
    Still am. :wink: (Well, I’m still Catholic, anyway, and vary between being repressed and not being repressed.)

  8. What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues?
    Well, not being one myself…I’d probably say marriage and adoption rights are the major ones, and yeah, I know that’s only two.

  9. How good is your gaydar?
    Can straight people have gaydar?

  10. How “incestuous” is your dating scene?
    I’m married to my academic work. (Then why aren’t you doing it now? Quiet, you!)

  11. Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)
    See #17.

  12. Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you?
    See #17 – oh, all right. In theory, yes. How’s it working? It’s not. :stuck_out_tongue:

  13. Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture?
    It really annoys me when it’s used to titillate the hetero male audience.

and in closing,

  1. Tell me a coming out story. Doesn’t have to be yours. Funny, tragic, whatever.
    But I don’t know any good ones… :eek: