I am too!
Hey NotWithoutRage, if Lamia doesn’t show any interest, I sure will. And I might live closer to you. 
Okay, so I’m a bad flirter.
[hetero male]
I just had to speak up. Believe it or not, I agree that men’s objectification of lesbian relationships is crappy. In a way, I understand it, but it’s crappy nevertheless.
Peace,
TN*hippie
[/hetero male]
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by andygirl *
1) Lesbian. I don’t identify as either butch or femme, but my friends don’t give me very high “butch marks.”
2) Past shoulder length. This is the longest I’ve had it in a really long time, but it’s never been shorter than the jawline.
3) You could say so. It’s dark blond, and I lighten it with an herbal concoction I make myself.
4) I used to canoe, but I’ve never been athletic or interested in sports.
5) No. I’m thinking of renting a billboard.
6) Only if I have a Dr’s. appointment.
7) Pits, usually. Head, never! My hair is one of my best features.
8) Excruciating political correctness. Intolerance, judgementalism, and the “true lesbian” bullshit. Professional lesbians who wouldn’t support gay rights to save their lives or anyone else’s.
9) It depends on what it’s for. Usually heels & lots of cleavage. Used to be skirts & garter belts when I still had the figure for it.
10) Occasionally. Usually just cover stick & tinted lip gloss.
11) I do my own minor car maintenance & home repairs. I have two big dogs. I only wear slacks to work, and sometimes leather after. Does sushi count? I certainly see a lot of lesbians hanging out at the sushi places.
12) Not as a steady diet, but some Indigo Girls, Melissa, and Joan Armatrading (really showing my age now, aren’t I?)
13) It’s silly.
14) Hardly!
15) I strongly support a woman’s right to choose, anti-hate crime laws, and gay marriage or recognition of gay life partners. I can’t think of any that are uniquely gay women’s rights, though.
16) I’d say about 95%
17) I’m not part of any dating scene. However, I’ve never dated the ex of an ex, and none of mine have ever dated each other. My latest ex is with someone she met on the internet.
18) My last relationship lasted a little over eight years, and ended two years ago. I haven’t dated since. Prior to that I had a couple short-term relationships without any major commitment, followed by long periods of celibacy (1-3 years).
19) I did date men for several years before coming out, and was married to a man for seven years. It didn’t work out very well at all. I was more interested in women than he was. We are still good friends, though.
20) It seems to me that the worst representation is the lack of it. When gay women are represented, they’re usually not depicted as sexual, or it’s not depicted very realistically. The movie Bound was a rare exception to this. I have been very encouraged to see so many famous women coming out in recent years.
21) One of my ex’s came out to her parents when she was about 16 or 17. Her father beat her terribly and threw her out of the house, telling her he didn’t want her to have his name. She moved to the nearest big city & lived on the streets until she eventually got involved with a prostitute. They moved into a squalid shack in the worst part of town and lived on whatever they could scrounge, until the landlord started demanding sex in exchange for the rent. They ran from there in the middle of the night with everything they owned in a pillowcase. The happy ending to this is that as soon as she could save enough money, she had her name legally changed. In all the years I’ve known her, I’ve never known what it was. She’s never spoken it again.
1) What do you identify as?
Bi-bi-bi.
2) How short is your hair?
It was really really short, but I’m trying to grow it out again. It’s incredibly curly so it’s taking a dog’s age.
3) Is it a natural color?
Yeah, but the ends aren’t MY natural color. I’ve had a fascination with entertaining hair colors ever since I managed to make my bangs blonde using nothing but Sun-In while I was in high school. I’m thinking about doing it so that I have streaks of blonde, purple, blue and red through it.
4) If you play sports, what are they?
I was in marching band. Nuff said, really.
5) Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?
Nope. As a matter of fact, a lot of people have been surprised that I was even bi. Usually they’re not thinking about my sexuality though…I’m just unfriendly.
6) Do you shave your legs?
Yes. I love that even jeans feel like silk right after.
7) Your head? Your armpits?
a) I have before, just to see if I had the intestinal fortitude. I do have the intestinal fortitude. I do NOT have the right head shape.
b) Yupyup.
8) What about the queer female community annoys you?
“Wimmin,” “Wimyn,” “Womyn”…and “You’re only bi because it’s trendy.” Hello. I’ve known I was bi since I was 12. How long have YOU known YOU were gay? So shaddup.
9) What is your idea of dressing up?
I like to go all-out with slinky clothes, hair done up, makeup…the whole nine yards. Unfortunately I can’t do this right now because my kids drew all over the walls with my slut makeup, and I haven’t been able to go thrifting for slinky clothes in ages. Oh yeah, and I never go anywhere any more, so I have no excuseto wear 'em anyhow.
10) Do you wear makeup?
Only if I “go out” or something. Not more than about 4 times a year.
11) What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me.)
I wear a Greek fisherman’s cap a lot of the time. I am almost always in jeans. Neither of these is stereotypical, but hey…
12) What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to?
I don’t listen to any JUST because they’re bi- or gay-friendly, even if some happen to be, so an accurate answer for the purpose of this poll is “none.”
13) Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?
Yeah: gag me.
14) Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl?
Not by any stretch of the imagination.
15) What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues?
Queer exclusively: legal partner’s rights. Oh, and your basic discrimination. Anything else is stuff that ANY non-Stepford woman would bitch about.
16) How good is your gaydar?
I got mine from Radio Shack, so most of the time I have to kick the crap out of it to make it work at all.
17) How “incestuous” is your dating scene?
The city in which I live is hellishly incestuous ANYHOW…and I’ve heard it’s even worse for gayfolk. Mine is sorta, but only because I only sleep with FRIENDS and…well…most of my friends are also friends with each other, y’dig?
18) Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)
Making a stab at ethical non-monogamy. It’s a pain in the ass because people just don’t GET it.
19) Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you?
Married one. Working out all right, except that people keep assuming I’m straight…OR bi-curious people want me to do them because the fact that I’m married makes me “not a threat.” :rolleyes:
20) Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture?
I think Lea deLaria is a fucking stitch. 
21) Tell me a coming out story. Doesn’t have to be yours. Funny, tragic, whatever.
My friend Rex read that you should come out to family members in a public place because they’d be less likely to raise a scene. He took his mother to a nice little Italian restaurant. After dinner, as they were sipping the remnants of their wine, he came out to her.
Apparently, a WWII air raid siren would have had NOTHING on her. He was mortified.
On the bright side, his football- and wrestling-loving father who had always seemed more more supportive of his football-playing brother than his choir-singing self was incredibly warm, saying, “So? I love you.”
1) What do you identify as?
bicurious (never been with a woman). Got tired of feeling guilty about thinking women were sexy, and told myself to get over it and just ADMIT YOU’RE BI FOR GAWD’S SAKE.
2) How short is your hair?
Nip-length.
3) Is it a natural color?
Yep, blonde with natural streaks
4) If you play sports, what are they?
No. I do outdoor thingies, though (canoeing, hiking) and enjoy weight training.
5) Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?
Not unless you count High School. People who know me well seem to have an inkling of my bi-ness.
6) Do you shave your legs?
Yes. Moisturize too! mmm silky legs.
7) Your head? Your armpits?
Never shaven my head, always my pits. (hairy pits in the gym can get weird looks shrug)
8) What about the queer female community annoys you?
Not so much the queer female community, militant feminazis BOTHER me. I want to bitchslap them.
9) What is your idea of dressing up?
Sexy tight clothes that either show a lotta leg or midriff (I can’t show cleavage, I have none.) Sparkling makeup, nothing too heavy for the eyes.
10) Do you wear makeup?
Yes. Otherwise I look like the raised dead (pale)
11) What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me.)
… I have no idea.
12) What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to?
I don’t listen to music for any sort of agenda (unless you count ‘classical’ for ‘expanding my cultural tastes’) so if I like it, I listen, if not, I don’t.
13) Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?
shrug sure. My ‘type’ is neither, so I can’t really comment.
14) Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl?
Nah, baptist
15) What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues?
Same thing as the rest of the room; rights on basis of relationship, non-discrimination, being able to piss in the men’s room. That’s it.
16) How good is your gaydar?
fair.
17) How “incestuous” is your dating scene?
I don’t really have a ‘dating scene’. I’m engaged, my friends are usually in long-term relationships, so we have the mid-day soap opera stories as opposed to Melrose Place.
18) Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)
serial monogamist. Jealous, too.
19) Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you?
Do, have, like them! They’re lots of fun. Marrying one, if all goes as planned.
**20) Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture?**The ones who are ‘in your face’ about it. I feel this is a Bad Thing[sup]TM[/sup]. Fine. You’re gay. Wanna cookie? (pushing religion, pushing sexuality, what’s the diff?) Good? The people who are gay, say so, continue on with normality.
21) Tell me a coming out story. Doesn’t have to be yours. Funny, tragic, whatever.
Don’t have one. My fiance knows, my best friend knows, the rest of the people in my life don’t need to know until I bring a girl home to meet the family. My parents would likely flip, for no real reason, as I’m not likely to ever date a woman unless circumstances change drastically.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by andygirl *
-
What do you identify as?
dyke -
How short is your hair?
used to be shaved in back–am growing it a little for kicks, but it makes me feel straight!! -
Is it a natural color?
yes–red -
If you play sports, what are they?
N/A–like to swim and used to play soccer. Also (ahem) I like to watch women’s gymnastics -
Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?
Dunno—some people pick up on it right away, others are startled to find out. I sure don’t WALK like a straight girl! -
Do you shave your legs?
Nope -
Your head? Your armpits?
Probably wouldn’t get away w/a shaved head at my office, though I’d love to do it some day. Ixnay on legs/underarms. -
What about the queer female community annoys you?
The whole serial monogamy/Uhaul thing. I’m a casual dater. -
What is your idea of dressing up?
Pants w/out cat hair on them and an ironed shirt. -
Do you wear makeup?
a little “cover-up” when necessary -
What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. ;))
Oh god–I’m vegetarian, occasionally mistake straight women for drag queens, wear plaid flannel shirts and overalls…lots of things -
What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to?
I don’t generally listen to straight musicians…my faves are Ani DiFrnaco, Janis Joplin & Indigo Girls -
Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?
Think people get hung up on it—I get frustrated because I self-identify as butch but am not ultra-butch so others don’t think I’m butch, if you get it. I’ve dated some femmy girls and topped a butch or two, so I guess I’m not into limitations. -
Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl?
No -
What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues?
VISIBILITY (x3) -
How good is your gaydar?
Better w/ guys than girls -
How “incestuous” is your dating scene?
fairly incestuous -
Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)
serial monogamy, as women in DC seem to not be capable of casual dates! -
Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you?
I’ve had a grand total of three dates w/men (2 in high school, 1 in college) in my life, all falling under the category of “am I really sure I’m gay?” -
Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture?
Mostly sucks. Frankly, I don’t want Ellen to be the queer community’s representative-for-life.
and in closing,
- Tell me a coming out story. Doesn’t have to be yours. Funny, tragic, whatever.
Will come back to this later…
QUOTE]
-
What do you identify as?
**Good question. If you ask me, I’ll say straight. If I think about it long and hard, I’m attracted to individuals, not genders. I’ve only ever been involved with one person (with who I intend to stay with forever, so the issue never comes up), and he’s male. But, in the purely physical sense, I suppose both men and women are attrative. I’m content to let sleepingdogs lie, though, since I’m in a very committed relationship. ** -
How short is your hair?
Shorter than it’s ever been, down to my shoulders. I always had it all the way down my back. -
Is it a natural color?
Umm… today. It was blue last month, though, -
If you play sports, what are they?
Hahaha… sports… Well, I sued to play badminton and swim. -
Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?
Only when I flirt with girls. -
Do you shave your legs?
Not often. -
Your head? Your armpits?
No way and absolutely (ugh, I hate hairy armpits, on guys, too). -
What about the queer female community annoys you?
I don’t know, I’m not in it. I want to join the school’s gay club (it does welcome straight membership) but I’m too shy. I’ve been doing papers on homophobia and I want to get involved. -
What is your idea of dressing up?
Makeup, skirt, blouse etc. -
Do you wear makeup?
Only when dressing up, live-action roleplaying or in a weird mood. -
What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. ;))
I don’t really know any lesbian stereotypes. -
What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to?
Umm… I like “Little Babies” by Sleater-Kinney. -
Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?
Nope. -
Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl?
My private girls school happened not to be Catholic, but I was certainly repressed. -
What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues?
I don’t know enough to say. -
How good is your gaydar?
Absolutely terrible. Although I really don’t try. -
How “incestuous” is your dating scene?
EEK! The group I hang out with a school is infamous for everyone having slept with everyone else. It sucks. -
Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)
I’ve only ever had one serious crush and I’ve been in love exactly once. Now that I am, I really don’t look at anyone else. Extreme monogamy. -
Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you?
Pretty good But again, I’d say that because I love the PERSON I’m dating, not the gender. -
Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture?
Tara and Willow were cute. I can’t really think of any other representations. -
Tell me a coming out story. Doesn’t have to be yours. Funny, tragic, whatever.
**I have a few…
My friend was absolutely convinced her parents would kick her out of the house when they found out she was gay. She avoided telling them. But one day, when they at McDonals, they asked her if she was. She was quite shocked.
Number two: My friend (who is bi) and I used to flirt all the time, just for fun. Two years ago, as a prank, we made veryone believe we were dating. It was real fun 
Broke a few men’s hearts in the bargain.
We exposed the prank but rumours kept circulating. There was one that I only started dating Scott (my bf) 'cause I didn’t want my parents to know that I’m gay. My parents are very liberal, open minded people. My uncle is gay and has been living with the same man for who knows how long. My mom’s good friend is gay.
So I told my mom this silly rumour. She laughed and laughed. She told me, very truthfully, that if I told her I was gay, she’d be a little upset 'cause life would be harder for me, but that’s it.
[hijack]
Oh, ha, ha. It is to laugh.
:rolleyes:
This seems to be the perfect place to ask - do you non-het women-types find this as unfunny and borderline offensive as I do? I mean, how purile is, “Huh, huh, I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body, huh, huh, huh!”? C’mon, Beavis - surely you can do better than that.
[/hijack]
Esprix
How YOU doin’?
Given my track record, I should probably add “mentally health-wise” to the end of that famous line, but what the heck.
Normally I find it just about the least funny joke on earth, but Dr. J’s version was a little better than average since he has dined with the Indigo Girls.
I usually find that joke funny, but thats probably only because I like to say it slightly modified when someone asks me if I am gay.
That joke usually annoys the hell out of me. That being said, I don’t think Dr. J’s post was that joke.
Nobody asked the straight people, but I never found the joke offensive because I think it’s sorta true. I always thought I’d make a perfect stereotypical male. If I’d been born a man, I’d be exactly like I am today, except I’d have a penis.
The differences would be that I’d make more money and I’d have good looking guys in the porn I watch. (Try getting your husband to watch some gay porn with you because the guys are cuter. Go ahead. Try.)
O.K., I’m back. How many of you lesbians had any luck getting your husbands to watch gay porn? Not a single one of you, right?
Told ya. Impossible.
Here’s how I feel about the “I’m a lesbian in a man’s body thing.”
First of all, I think it’s demeaning to transgendered people.
And then there’s this whole concept of identity. I know full well that there is no singular Lesbian Life Experience. All the same, there are a few things that every queer person tends to go through, and it’s one of the few and tenuous common bonds that queer people actually have.
I take exception to men making that joke because it implies common experience. In high school I was threatened with rape several times because “it would teach me a lesson, I deserved it, and raping lesbians shouldn’t be a crime anyway.” There have been horrid atrocities done to people simply because of their sexual orientation, and men making that joke feels to me like a gross trivialization of what gay people have to go through. (That, and the whole tendancy to co-opt lesbian sexuality… something like 90% of “lesbian” porn is made by and for straight men.)
There’s so much more to it than “just liking girls” in my mind.
I realize that I’m being a bit overdramatic about this. And certainly, a lot of straight men first “connect” with the idea of lesbianism by realizing that lesbians like women, too. That’s a wonderful thing. Heck, I love cruising girls with my straight guy friends.
So there’s this boy at my college who is white and gay. And he tells people that he identifies as a black lesbian. The main reason for this is that he has read and agrees with the ideas of Audre Lourde. And the reason that I find him doing this so offensive is that he will never experience what a black lesbian goes through. Because he is not one. It’s not a matter of sympathizing, you understand. It’s saying “yes, this is my identity” when there is no legit basis or way that you will ever experience what it means to be that.
Just my take on it. I’m going to take a deep breath now.
Well put, andygirl.
Peace,
TN*hippie
- I’m sorry, why are you requesting identification?
- Just short of waist-length.
- Yes.
- Does sex count?
- Not that I know of.
- Yes. Sometimes.
- Head: no. Armpits: yes.
- The “womyn-born-womyn” faction (ref: Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival)
- Highly variable.
- Generally only to work.
- What qualifies as “stereotypical lesbian”? Probably nothing.
- None that I’m aware of. Pansy Division is all-male.
- No.
- No.
- Equality (esp. in the workplace) for women, equality for gays, and more variety in sex toys.
- Not very. But I don’t try much either.
- “Incestuous”? I don’t date relatives. Ewwwwww.
- Solidly committed.
- Dated a man briefly many years ago. Didn’t go well.
- Please, Ellen, go away.
No story for now, time for bed.
Hey. I just wanna say thanks to this thread and everyone who posted in it.
That’s odd. I had this very same argument this afternoon. 
-
What do you identify as?
bisexual yet unexperienced (never gone “all the way” with a woman–yet) -
How short is your hair?
erm. At the moment? Shaved except the bangs. In the recent past it’s been halfway down my back, though. -
Is it a natural color?
Depends… I’ve seen the color in nature if that counts. Usually in flowers or sunsets, mind you. -
If you play sports, what are they?
I hate sports. I love to swim, however. Oh, and ping pong. Is ping pong a sport? No? What about darts? -
Do people look at you and think you are terribly terribly gay?
I doubt it, since I always have a child in tow. -
Do you shave your legs?
Eh… no. I used to have them waxed periodically, but I forget for 6 months at a time. -
Your head? Your armpits?
yes and yes -
What about the queer female community annoys you?
The anti-men parts (which are, thankfully, pretty limited) -
What is your idea of dressing up?
makeup, nice dress, socks, Birkenstocks. Sue me. -
Do you wear makeup?
I love makeup, but I never wear it. -
What are “stereotypically lesbian” things that you do/wear/eat? (Expansive question, I know, but work with me. ;))
Well, at the moment I have the shaved head thing going, I’m overweight, wear sweat pants most of the time, like folk music, I’m a vegetarian, I wear Birkenstocks (with socks if it’s chilly)… -
What queer/ friendly female recording artists do you listen to?
Um… I like Melissa Etheridge. Laurie Anderson strikes me as queer or friendly, but I don’t know for sure. -
Any thoughts on the butch-femme thing?
I like the femme thing more than the butch thing. -
Were you a repressed Catholic schoolgirl?
No, I was raised in an overbearingly Christian home and school, but not Catholic. -
What do you feel are three very important queer woman issues?
gay marriage, perceived femininity, a red hairdye that won’t fade so fast. -
How good is your gaydar?
pretty good -
How “incestuous” is your dating scene?
errr… not sure I understand the question. -
Describe your dating patterns. (U-Haul, serial monogamy, whatever.)
I’m in an open marriage. This means that every few years, I date someone for a while (often a long while, like a year or more) I’m still waiting for my first real girlfriend though. Sigh. -
Did you/do you date men? How’s that working for you?
Yup, married to one, in fact. Working out well… though I wish I had a libido. That’s a medication thing though. -
Any thoughts on good and bad representations of queer woman in popular culture?
Well, I wish that the stereotype wasn’t quite so butch. Seems that most people think spikey haired, studded leather wearing dyke when they think of women who like women. Not that I haven’t spiked my hair at some points in my life, mind you… -
Tell me a coming out story. Doesn’t have to be yours. Funny, tragic, whatever.
My father in law’s partner came out to his family years ago and all but one of his kids (adults) now won’t even speak to him. He hasn’t seen them in many, many years.
Um… we have some gay porn that we watch together. We both tend to prefer m-m or m-m-f to f-f or f-f-m porn. For some reason, porn movies never do anything interesting with f-f stuff, it seems.
So anyway, it isn’t impossible
Hey, doesn’t anybody listen to Meg Christian or Cris Williamson any more? Kids these days…
Dang, there’s a lot more of… that kind… of woman around here than I thought. Cool.