[ul][]Death: Your S/O’s 2 cats shredding to death a bird they caught & brought into the house downstairs while you’re getting busy upstairs. Not only will the blood curdling screaches destroy the mood - it just re-ignites the old, “I can’t fathom why you don’t make those 2 treacherous killers wear a bell” argument.[]Cold Dampness: Knocking over a 1/2 bottle of champagne off the night table and on to the mattress[]Natural Gas: The ‘I’m so relaxed, loosened-up and ready’ fart[]Inertia: Discovering that platform beds on hardwood floors can slide 8’ across a room under the right rhythmic conditionsInane Humor: A late-night repeat episode of Beavis & Butthead coming on MTV[/ul]
“Is that a leg?”
Still the winner, and all time champion.
BAND NAME!!!
Five year old thread, don’t bump, blahblah. Good read though.
All from the same woman. Spent 2 1/2 years with this witch, go figure. 'Course she was the NFL cheerleader I’ve mentioned before.
“You need to workout”
Calling out here ex-husband’s name.
“You’re boring me”
Ouch! Perhaps she wanted balloon animals or some manner of mime show?
Regardless, being told that I was boring someone while doin’ it would kill the mood pretty quick, I think.
. . . Your housemate deciding he wants to borrow a shirt from you. At midnight. Without knocking.
Or maybe something happened at band camp?!?! 
I can confirm this… from personal experience… I was the one falling asleep.
(It was a Friday night after working 16 hour days all week long, only getting 5 hours sleep each night. I made it up to her the next afternoon when I was rested, … after spending the morning apologising, reassuring her, and soothing her ego.)
And to add to JohnBckWLD’s comment about Inertia - Satin sheets are a great idea, but but combined with satin pillowsheets on the pillow under her ass yeilds a nearly frictionless surface resulting in both parties involved sliding across the bed and onto the floor. The resulting bruise on her backside forced us to find ‘alternate methods’ for a couple of days.
Or the theme from one of the Mario Bros. video games. Don’t ask me why it was in my ex’s playlist. I just got laughing SO hard that we couldn’t continue.
It’s those Baton Twirlers & Majorettes.
You are a victim of the “Girl In Uniform” Syndrome.
Or the 1812 Overture…
Be careful when you set the CD player to the random mode.
Hey I was band President!
That’s it!!!
Tall boots, short skirts, skillful with their hands…
I’ll be in ma bunk. 
President of the wierdos or the band?
Oooh, talk dirty to me.
Hell yeah! You should have simply doubled your pace and yelled, “Yeah, I’m boring you like a DeWalt 6.7 amp corded drill, baby!!! Say my name!! SAY IT!!” Etc.
I’ve gotta go with the music of Wham!, Chuck.
Iiiii don’t know…I can see the rhythm on that one helping out. If you’re young. And athletic. Otherwise, okay, you have a point.
A big, huge earth shattering sneeze- without being able to cover your mouth/nose.