Even if drunk off my ass, as long as my ass can find the toilet seat, I won’ t spray piss all over Greater Mississippi.
That is all.
It’s not that you won’t, even if you want to you can’t.
Have fun peeing in the woods, though. 
Oh…and we can sit and pee too, if we want to.
Because I can unzip and wizz anywhere no matter how drunk.
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Also, because vagina feels wonderful with one.
Can you spell your name with pee?
It’s the threat of legal action that’s the drawback. When you have a penis, it can be ensued.
I’m glad I don’t have one because my pants are too tight and I’m sure I’d be getting the little guy stuck in the zipper all the time. I can only imagine that would be quite painful.
Sure. I just use a stencil.
My first name begins with a pee, so I doubt I could spell it without one.
Having one makes things like painting, driving, and climbing ladders a lot easier.
Number ONE reason I’m glad I don’t have a vagina:
That bleeding thing.
Okay, I’m female, and I thought that was funny. 
Aside from the fact that, at my house, I am the painter, driver, and ladder climber. The human with the penis, here, is the computer programmer, tech services, snake-killing, trash-taker-outer.
Cite?
Uh, band name?
So what’s the number two reason? Maybe we can get a top ten going, here.
Cite which part of the statement? That my pants are too tight? That if I had a penis it would be a “little guy”? Or that getting a penis stuck in a zipper is quite painful?
That bleeding thing, eh? Try childbirth sometime, it should put things in perspective. 
We’re talking about penises and vaginas here; what’s number two got to do with it? 
Well one is hypothetical; one is obvious. You’ll have to prove your pants are too tight.