Wait - Hamadryad was there?
I think I may well be the luckiest person alive.
Financial and logistical difficulties almost made me have to scrap this trip. But some remarkable people gave me some help, and for that, I must thank them. **Billdo, ** for letting me stay at your place Thursday, the outstanding directions from LaGuardia to your office (the only way I could have gotten lost is if my head had popped off of my shoulders), and the MetroCard, which got quite the workout. And of course, for organizing everything. You completely rule, my friend.
Eutychus and DAVEW0071, who covered my butt financially the entire trip, and were really really nice about it, too. Your kindness and generosity to someone so undeserving as me has completely redefined the meaning of “best friend” for me.
**Dynosaur, ** who after driving Kyla back to Michigan from NYC and just happened to still be in Michigan when my plane FINALLY landed in Detroit, went out of his way to pick me up at the airport and drive me back to Flint. In a snowstorm. He’s got an “S” on his chest, he does. Oh yeah.
Zappo and **Kyla, ** who brought me Tastykakes and really cool books, respectively. I’d have appreciated them muchly anyway, but the unexpected delay in my flight home made them Gifts from the Deities!
**TruePisces, ** for being there, and listening to me. Goddess knows I surely did need it right now. And the big screaming hug in front of the dim sum restaurant really, REALLY made me feel good! 
Of course, the rest of the hugs were nice, but that one was just so special.
**Gorgon Heap and Acrylic Vessel, ** for being terminally cool. And regardless of what you might be thinking, IMHO, we did NOT spend enough time together. We really didn’t.
I know I’m going to forget names, so I’ll say it now…I love you all. Thank you for treating me so well. I’m humbled, and just not worthy of your kindnesses.
Now, on a slightly more selfish note…dear Goddess…so many babes, so little time! Oh my. Dopers are really, really nice, that’s true. But they’re also totally smokin’ hot. I’m still sweating! Major babeage. Men & women. Holy crow. I already knew this going in, but I met a few more majorly babealicious folks (like whatmove and Spit and LindyHopper) that just made me want to cry. My hormones can’t take it, people! They just can’t! 
Okay, I’ve got to sleep eventually. But thanks again to everyone for showing me such a wonderful time. I’ll be back. Oh yes, I will. because the only thing I hate about NYC is leaving, and I’m so glad that only one of y’all saw me cry.
Much love,
Cristi
I actually said that to Hammy at Bleeker’s. She came in disguise.
More photos. Wish I had taken more, but it seems to have been a quite well documented event.
Firstly, I have to say that I’ve never in my life seen such fingerage. I’ve been through high school and substance-drenched urban life, and I’ve never- never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever- seen so many middle fingers flying with such fervor and grace… this didn’t have anything to do with a message board, tell the truth… this was a support group for deaf Tourettes sufferers, right?
B) Maeglin deserves ShorDurPerSaviorhood for being a super host, even when the excrement was striking the circulator. WisestNovel, Dynosaur, Typo-mna, Jess, Elenfair, lno, Mnementh, LaurAnge, ScottEvil, Kaya, Eonwe and everyone else (I know I forgot at least two) who crashed there made it hard to stop laughing the whole time in NYC. Even Grignr woulda been pacified…
On the other hand, there are fingers.
I got to meet JoeyHemlock, MsWas, Geobabe, Billdo, Grandfather Trout, Wonko the Sane and so many other people who didn’t make me feel skeevy for being a lurker. It was really remarkable being there to see how everyone was; the atmosphere reminded me a lot of a family reunion. Well, you know, with beer and titty and weenies and subways.
GingerOfTheNorth and weirddave are the coolest, even if they’re hideously mistaken about octopi and the Jersey Turnpike and subtle wake-up calls.
This past weekend was more fun than seeing a big rooster in a gout of flame, even if the armpits smelled of honey. Can’t wait to bug you some more.
Vix’s picture of me & Eonwe is a piss! 
Not only do I look like I’m about to be executed, but my bra is showing as well! Dargh.
I had a great time, despite my expression in the pic. I think I must’ve been tired.
First of all, I have to apologize to Billdo for neglecting to thank him in person for his hospitality for both the Sunday brunch and the stopover at his place between the museum and America. I quickly ran out of steam after the long weekend and gave at best a quick farewell to all at the brunch before heading back to Queens and sleeping for several hours. You’ve already received many thanks in this thread for your efforts; please accept mine as well, belated as they are.
Spit: That bookshelf was a piece of crap before; now it’s a piece of crap with character. At least having seen my library you can now attest to the fact that I am well-read (or at the very least, I have spent a lot of money to give people the impression that I’m well-read).
I’m still trying to figure out why you and waterj2 crashed on the cramped floor of my living room instead of the space I cleared out on the floor of my bedless bedroom. Heck, I even had an air mattress you guys could have crashed on. All you had to do was blow it up at 6 in the morning
That’s right: 6 a.m. :eek: (that should explain our collective appearance at an 11 a.m. brunch)
waterj2: I’m not sure if you should visit NYC here anymore. I don’t know how many times I can stay out so late, not to mention closing two bars on one night! If you do come back, make sure you brush up on your pool playing
And I still say that the Specials were the first ska-punk band
It was quite an adventure we had on Saturday, from the last round of beers at No Idea to the subway ride (which included Spit’s turnstile gaffe and the assortment of subway sleepers that Spit wanted to wake up) to the arrival in Astoria (which included Spit running down the wrong stairs and sprinting down the sidewalk in the opposite direction from my apartment) to the late night of listening to Virginia’s own hardcore/country/punk band Avail (plus some songs from my favorite punk band Snuff :D) and recounting the night’s events and SDMB experiences.
And Spit, you weren’t the only one who provided funny moments. Remember waterj2’s story during the last round of beers? I don’t even remember what it was about, but at one point we were doubled over with laughter. Then there was waterj2’s brief but mysterious disappearance from a 4th floor walkup apartment at 3 a.m.
As for me, eventually some before several beers and after several beers pictures will be linked to this thread, assuming whoever took those pictures posts a link to them.
Before: 8I
After: 8D (I was definitely mugging for the camera by the end of the night)
Spit, I share your sentiment; the most fun I had during the weekend was late night Friday at the bar with waterj2, hanging out with Spit at the Museum, dinner with both, and the late night Astoria Odyssey. You two alone make me want to attend future Boston and Virginia Dopefests (the latter especially if BURNER and TKeana show up). Don’t be strangers, guys.
DaLovin’ Dj: It was great meeting a fellow Doper with whom I have common acquaintances, not to mention one who has musical tastes similar to mine. I enjoyed talking with you at the Bleecker Street Bar, at that second late night Friday bar whose name escapes me, and at No Idea. The next time I see you at McSwiggan’s the first round is on me.
And remember: Anthony Michael Hall was the dorky guy in Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club, Jon Cryer was the dorky guy in Pretty in Pink, and Banger was the dorky guy at the Dopefest.
BURNER (no relation ;)) and TKeana: You may be newbie Dopers, but you were a big part of my enjoyment of my first Dopefest, as I felt very much like a newbie myself among many Dopers who were already very familiar with each other. After lurking a bit at the Friday Bleecker Street Bar get together, I bumped into BURNER and my Dopefest weekend officially began right there, as we hit it off from the start. I had a lot of fun at the America dinner with a table of TKeana, BURNER, waterj2 and Spit. TKeana, we never got a chance to play pool; hopefully we will next time
Eonwe, LaurAnge, Andygirl, Kyla and RTFirefly: Glad to have made it with you through the entire Museum trip and back to Billdo’s place (along with Billdo and Spit). I think that was a record for me: the longest conversation I have ever participated in concerning Canada I admit that I take our friendly neighbors up north for granted and don’t discuss them much.
A lot of albeit brief talks with various people: whatmove (including the great username origin story and closing the Bleecker Street Bar), Ringo, Sua Sponte (sorry about my work rant; it happens when I get on that subject), Gorgon Heap and Acrylic Vessel, beerchick, scott evil, Houseman (see my parenthetical for Sua Sponte; talk to the people in Albany for me!), WeirdDave and Ginger of the North (who were also among the first Dopers I had a chance to chat with, thereby helping me to feel more comfortable among the Doper crowd), Biggirl (who I hardly had a chance to talk with but who definitely gave me the most enthusiastic “Banger!!!” greeting; I was flattered that she recognized my name :)), Jessica2 (if I had known you were shy I would have tried harder at breaking the ice; look at me: I’m virtually unknown on these boards and was definitely unknown at my first Dopfest ;)), Wonko the Sane (which has always been one of my favorite user names)…
…Unfortunately, there were a ton of people I hardly spoke with, if at all, but considering that I was at my first Dopefest and just getting my feet wet, I think I did pretty well. After all, there are always future Dopefests
Jersey Diamond: my name is neither tip of a nose, Ringo nor Another group photo. I’m Banger Dammit! This is what I mean about people with whom I unfortunately did not talk. Saying “hello” and telling Jersey Diamond my username (not to mention actually chatting with her) would have made all the difference. You did get my name right in one photo, so you’re forgiven for the others, and I thank you, as I was beginning to think that I would not appear prominently in any posted pictures at all
I’ll tell ya… this post was a pain to code!
:eek:
OK, OK, I AM FIXING IT RIGHT AWAY!
CHECK IN A FEW MINUTES;)
sorry
Whew. I’m back. What a long frickin’ flight. Even the Delta clerk at LaGuardia sympathized with me. This has been, with almost no exceptions at all, the best four days I’ve ever spent. You guys frickin’ rock!
OK, the highlights & mentions. But first, the obligatory disclaimer. If I’ve missed anyone/anything, it is most likely put down to lack of sleep or lack of lack of alcohol. So I’m sorry in advance. OK?
The Korean dinner was indeed fabulous. So much food; I haven’t eaten that much before (or am likely to since) for quite some time. Sorry you didn’t care for it, Gorgon Heap, particularly seeing as how it was my idea. Hope the Subway sandwich the next morning went some small way toward making up for it.
Rose’s Turn was gobs of fun, Billdo; thanks for your help through Penn Station and with MetroCards and suchlike. I’d still be lost in the bowels of the New York City subway system without you. whatmove did some killer singing, and I think I lost most of my voice somewhere toward the end of “Blister in the Sun”. Biggirl, you are the grooviest ever! Even if they didn’t play “I Will Survive”. And Dave, I don’t remember your getting dissed by the “Midnight Train to Georgia” chick either, but she was pretty hot, wasn’t she?
whatmove: As abovementioned, awesome turn at the mike. And what you didn’t mention about Billdo’s “Who had the fried pork?” question is that we all had communal dishes, so nobody technically had anything. Well, you know what I mean. The beer buckets were (I think) mostly bought by Spit (God bless you, sirrah!), and Hamadryad was momentarily unrecognizable because she’d morphed into a blonde! [sub]Still nuclear hot, though.[/sub] Oh, and I thought of a couple more Kittie album titles: Slash, Rip, Tear, and Slit. Whaddaya think?
Gorgon Heap and Acrylic Vessel: No problem. I was glad to have you crash in the hotel, even if the shower was really hot and the couch was like something designed by the Marquis de Sade. And what exactly were you all doing early Saturday morning before returning to the room, anyway, hmmmm…?
Cosmopolitan: Thanks for the safe trip wishes; the hotel was only a few blocks away, although I was on the wrong side of 31st when I finally got there, having never arrived from the west side before. It was great to meet you, and you are indeed a hottie! My most enjoyable cab ride of the weekend!
Morgyn: Absolutely splendiferous to meet you; that Saturday afternoon was very enjoyable. The back scritches that night were to die for; I almost turned into one of my cats. And I’m blushing major time from reading your (insanely unwarranted, in my opinion) compliments! But thank you!
TruePisces: Gee, hon, what can I say? I came up there mostly to meet you, and I wasn’t disappointed. Thank you for making the weekend everything I wanted, and so much more. Thanks for introducing me to your signature drink, and for dancing with me at No Idea. This weekend meant a lot to me. Thank you.
Zappo: You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar. Your driving skills on the streets of Manhattan are unrivaled among the annals of non-native-New-Yorker drivers. Who have navigators with detailed maps. Oh, you know what I mean. Absolutely groovalicious to meet you, good sir, and I hope I’ll have the pleasure many times over the years.
Persephone: Hair-petter extraordinare. Thank you, hon.
Awesome to meet you, not least for the hugs you give. Yours (on Thursday night at the Korean place) was the first hug I received in NYC, and will always occupy a special place in my heart. I hope we’ll meet again soon, but in the meantime, there’s always electronic communication, isn’t there?
Billdo: You’re a righteous dude. To you goes a large share of the credit for the weekend. Everything was fabulous, from the Korean dinner right through the brunch in your apartment. Thanks for everything you did; you’re a really great guy, and I’m proud to know you. Even if the complete printout of the check-in thread at the Thursday Korean dinner was completely hilarious. Only you, man; only you. And we wouldn’t have it any other way. You rock.
SaxFace: The only Doper who recognized my username completely out of the blue. You have no idea how great this made me feel. It was wonderful meeting you. Not to mention the fact that you’re a total babe.
Sue Duhnym: In the midst of my extremely drunken cups at the Bleecker Street Bar, I grabbed her hand, kissed it, and mumbled something extremely incoherent, but along the lines of adoration. Sorry, dear; I was swept up in the moment. Hope your time in NYC was great.
GeoBill: Great to meet you all, even though I didn’t get to spend much time with either of you. BTW, Geo, I still have your nametag from Saturday night (it’s stuck to the fedora that TruePisces was wearing, which happens to be mine). When TP and Verrain were checking out of their hotel before Billdo’s brunch, the clerk said something like “Do you know there’s a nametag on your hat?” The response was something like “We were at a party last night”, and no other words were necessary.
OxyMoron: It was great to talk with you on Saturday night; I haven’t talked school-related litigation with anyone in just years.
Seriously, though, you’re a great guy, and it was wonderful talking to you; I hope we meet again many times.
Vix and SuaSponte: Dim sum was a transcendent experience; thanks for saying “Sure!” anytime any of the waitstaff brought anything. Oh, and Sua, as I may have mentioned, the feather is representational (don’t I wish), although I should probably point out that I lost it somewhere between the bar and the hotel Saturday night. I have another one, though, so it’s all good.
Pucette: Great to meet you on Thursday; sorry you couldn’t make it until late on Saturday. You’re a wonderful person (not to mention one of the hottest DoperChicks going).
Biggirl and family: It was great to eat, drink, and sing with you on Thursday. You’re one of my favorite people for the weekend; hope to meet you again soon. Sorry you couldn’t make it on Saturday; we all missed you. [sub]The preceding two sentences were meant for Biggirl alone; houseman and zoltarb were present for many events, and were charming, intelligent, and fun to talk to.[/sub]
matt_mcl: Wonderful to meet you (it’s always great to meet a board legend), and to share the same interest in flags and other aspects of geography is just an added bonus. Hope your trip back was great, and I enjoyed being in the Istanbul chorus with you.
andygirl: Didn’t get to spend nearly as much time talking to you as I’d’ve liked; from the bit I did get to spend, I like you a lot. Hope your trip back to frozen New England went all right.
Eonwe: You’re a really cool guy; again, not enough time spent, but sometimes you can tell about people. Looking forward to the official webpage; hope Vermont (is that right?) wasn’t too snowy & icy.
hampster: Restraint? What is this strange word you call “restraint”? Just kiddin’ you, pal. Great to spend time with you, and even if this fest yielded less of the boinkable type than you’d’ve liked, it was still fun, right? Right?
waterj2: One of the most fiercely bright people I’ve met in years. Sorry we lowered the tone at Billdo’s brunch so much by talking about sex so much. I don’t even have excessive alcohol as a excuse. It was great to meet you; hope we can do so again soon.
Satan (not that he’s supposed to be reading this): What a cool dude. That’s really all I have to say, but rock on, man. Seriously.
Ginger: No, burner isn’t Henry Rollins; he’s Serj Tankian. It’s obvious! Just look at the man!
Euty: Great talking to you at the brunch; you have an encyclopedic knowledge of comedy. I look forward to picking your brain one of these days. Glad you made it home safely.
Soda: You are great. Your presence at the fest was a true highlight, and I hope you’ll make it back for many more. Even if you did beat me out for the distance prize! :p;)
Ukulele Ike: Despite not looking anything like I thought you would, you were a joy to meet. Courteous, urbane, and friendly. Thanks for welcoming me.
beerchick: Hey you drunken dancer you! This is, of course, spoken from the perspective of a drunken dancer who did drunken dancing with you on Saturday night. I had a great time, and I hope your new business goes exactly as you would wish.
LaurAnge: I didn’t get to meet you, even though I desperately wish I did. You were 20 feet away (6 metres, for you Canadian folks) from me at America, but it didn’t happen, and I wish it did. Hope you had a great visit and a safe trip back to Montréal.
JerseyDiamond and Joe_Cool: Absolutely smashing to meet you; you’re both lucky, lucky people, and I wish you every happiness. Godspeed.
Well, that’s about everything I can think of; if I’ve missed anyone, it’s because I’m a humongous dork.
[Wakko Warner]Good night, everybody![/WW]
You mean Sunday?
Why, nothing. Nothing at all.
Yes. Sunday. Of course. :smack:
A likely story.
Unfortunately, I spent most of my weekend in an alternate universe. It did have its moments of levity: sipping whisky with WisestNovel and Nen, the soon-to-be-infamous reading of the Eye of Argon, and a truly bizarre game of “I, Never” in which matt_mcl revealed that he cannot hold his cranberry juice.
I would like to thank quite everyone who stayed at the too-aptly named House of Pain.
I can only imagine the reaction of the mundanes when I tell them that I had a dozen freaky internet friends staying in my apartment on the piss when this weekend’s unfortunate events unfolded. With keys to my building.
I’d also have to tell them that despite everything, my apartment was not trashed, my cats were fed and properly medicated, and that a brave band of dopers (Nen, Pucette, MsWas, and WisestNovel) showed up at the hospital at 3:30 AM to make sure I had eaten dinner.
And that one of them, MsWas, kept watch for me in the ER at 6AM so I could go home and catch a few hours of sleep.
I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention that for reasons that I do not completely understand, Elenfair, LaurAnge, Mnementh, and matt_mcl thought it would be fun to spend Sunday night, their last night in New York, in the hospital with me, visiting, chatting, and bringing good cheer. And singing the praises of socialized medicine.
But everyone who endured me this weekend deserves thanks, for kind words, damned good behavior, and for being damned good people. I consider myself very, very lucky.
Any of you will be forever welcome at my house.
Damn you people and your excellent parties! Now I’ve gone and “upgraded” myself from an interloper to a lurker. Freakin’ assimilation.
It was great meeting everybody I got the opportunity to hang out with. And kind of amusing being the person that people thought maybe they should know even though nobody did. I was really amazed at how friendly everybody was and had a fantastic time. Thanks for letting me crash.
The boards are a bit tempermental this second, so I’ll just post this link to my LJ , then update my memoirs of the weekend over the next week or so.
…If this ever gets through.
All times are so very approximate as to be laughable.
Thursday:
08:00: Wake up. Feel all right. Hit the bathroom. Agony.
10:00: Drive to Patient First. Confirm: I have a urinary tract infection. A bad one. The doctor tells me they measure the severity of the infection by the amount of bacteria in the sample; he says mine came back as “TNTC” - “too numerous to count.”
10:30: Get home, fling myself into the bathroom. Tark goes to K-mart and gets meds for me. I try several times - unsuccessfully - to leave the bathroom.
14:00: Finally don’t feel like dying. Fall into a pain-exhausted slumber.
16:00: Wake up. Still haven’t packed a damned thing. Start.
19:00: Hitsnarfle arrives. I am trying to burn a comedy CD. No go. He offers to do it for me…no problem, we should be on the road in no time!
22:00: CD finally fucking burns. Fling everything in car; get on the road. And because it’s not officially the next day until you’ve slept, I’munna keep going as if the next event was still Thursday.
01:00: Arrive at Dave&Gingy’s.
01:30: Of course we aren’t asleep. We’re sitting in front of Gingy’s computer watching sketches from “The State.”
02:00: All right, yeah, sleep’s a good idea. Sheesh.
02:15: Finally fall asleep after making squeaky noises from across the room with a toy and faces and giggling like fuckin’ 6-year-olds.
Friday:
07:00: Buglet is watching cartoons. He is also attempting to wake up Hitsnarfle, who stunningly does NOT kill him when he screams “WAKE UP!!!” in his ear. Gingy doesn’t kill anyone either. Everyone gets kudos. Coffee all around.
09:00: We were gonna leave by now.
10:00: We’re on the road! Here we come!
11:00: Delaware!
12:00: New Jersey!
13:00: NYC! YAY! Not that we can TELL, of course, because it’s been freezing cold and raining nasty splotchy rain all over the place the entire time we’ve been driving. My windshield wipers kind of suck dead llama ballz, too, so it’s more of a pain in the ass than it should be. And my thermostat’s not working properly, so the car doesn’t get REALLY toasty. And apparenly there’s a short in my wiring because the door locks keep popping up and down and the interior lights keep flashing and the “DOOR AJAR” light on the dashboard keeps dinging. Oh, and it’s a minivan but I have NO rear windshield wiper. I realize that we’re actually approaching our destination when we’re on the G. Washington Bridge. My powers of observation stun blind deaf-mutes across the globe.
14:00-ish: Arrive at the House of Pain. “A” is there and very sweet and gracious…offers to make cocoa for everyone at least four times. We cart all of our crap - including two computers (and that’s actual computers, boxes, monitors, and all…not laptops. Did I mention that we were dropped on our heads repeatedly as children?), four sleeping bags, pillows, and clothes. I mean, dayum. Dave&Gingy haul their asses to the other side of the planet to meet Oxymoron and we hang out and talk to “A” for a while. She’s very funny.
15:00-ish: J355 and Wisest Novel come back from an excursion. We all sit around. WN begins what will apparently be the trend of the weekend: mocking me incessantly. I, of course, am above that kind of childish nonsense. NEENER! NYAH! PLBPTBHTHTHTHT!!! YER MOM!
16:00-ish-give-or-take-an-hour-or-so: Elenfair arrives, looking a bit disheveled. She’s cute and perkily Cananadian.
17:00-ish: We start preparing to go out for some dinner.
17:30-ish: Dynosaur, Typo mna, and Kyla arrive. There is much rejoicing.
18:00-ish: We finally leave for dinner, with everyone in tow. WN goes into the restaurant alone at first, as he was meeting Pucette there for dinner, and had suddenly morphed into a crowd of people. Fortunately, there is plenty of seating space and Pucette r00lz, so we all go in and eat very much goddamned tasty Greek food.
20:00-ish: We fling ourselves toward the bar…name of which I have, of course, forgotten. We get off of the subway and walk for ages. Pucette is in mid-calf high-heeled boots and a miniskirt and appears very comfortable. I am in trousers and Reeboks and am a wimpy uncomfortable pile of snot. We walk for approximately 5,000 blocks and get to the bar. WHICH IS PACKED…but many of those packed therein are Dopers, so we resign ourselves to cooties and go in.
Rest of the evening: Insanity. Who can I think of who I saw there? I’m not even going to TRY to note all of the names. I remember a bunch of us affirming that yes, Biggirl is colored. And everyone else there was too, stunningly enough…not a transparent person in the lot. However, it was also confirmed that she is a traitor to black people everywhere, as she likes Nelly…and can sing along with CHICAGO and SOFT CELL and THOMAS DOLBY! Everyone knows that in the 80’s black people were only allowed to listen to Run DMC and Lisa Lisa with the Cult Jam. I mean, sheeeeeit. What else? Acrylic Vessel sat in my lap for a while and that was the FREAKING BOMB, particularly when she started growling in my ear. Several people didn’t recognize me because of my blond hair…which is only in the front, for crying out loud. One of them was whatmove, with whom I had some delightful macking action last year. When he failed to recognize me I was forced to call him a shithead. He was mortified at not recognizing me; I was incredibly amused.
01:30-ish: After much debauchery, we left…“we” being me, Hitsnarfle, Dynosaur, Typo mna, J355 (for the purpose of this narrative, “J355” = Jessica2), and Eonwe was with us by this time, and I think that may have been it but I’m not sure. In the subway station Typo mna started yelling “WEENIES IN THE POOPER” which attracted the attention of a lovely young woman nearby…who turned out to be Soda, who was hanging out with Uncle Bill and Geobabe. We all got on the train together, and a good portion of the ride was spent with Soda attempting to teach Typo mna how to say “Your armpits smell of nectar” in Swedish. Well, honey, actually, because, as Soda said, “it flows better.” I don’t think she even realized she was making a pun.
02:00-ish: Back at the HoP. We collapse. I fall asleep to the sounds of a dark room full of people giggling in waves.
Saturday:
05:30: I hear the persistant ‘wraaaaa! wraaaaa!’ of the door buzzer. When I lay down the night before, no one else had yet chosen a place to doss. When I got up to buzz WHOEVER THE HELL THAT WAS AT 5:30 IN THE FUCKING MORNING in to the building, it looked like Jonestown…bodies sprawled as far as the eye could see. I picked my way carefully across them and buzzed the whomever-monster in, then hit the bathroom and lay back down. “Whomever” turned out to be Wisest novel and Kyla coming in from going out dancing. It is worth noting that when I dined with Kyla the night before, she was exhausted and looked it. Apparently intoxication has the same effect on Kyla as spinach has on Popeye.
09:00: The door buzzer goes off again. This time I decide that someone else can freaking well wake up and get it. (I did not realize at this time that it was 9:00; I could see light coming in through the window in the other room and figured it to be about 7:30. Shows how fantastic my sense of time is.) The door opens and I crack an eyelid. People are quietly picking their way into the room…and I recognize…a Mnementh! I wave and he looks down quizzically and I whisper, “It’s a Hamadryad!” He grins and waves. Behind him are…LaurAnge and matt_mcl. People in the apartment start shifting about and waking up. I notice Scott Evil had also arrived and fallen asleep at some point. So…it’s 9:00 in the morning and there are (counts on fingers) 14? people in the HoP. And no, I don’t have 14 fingers.
09:15 - 10:00: People mill about, get dressed, shower, go about their business. Eventually we get our brains somewhat together, everyone’s in reasonably decent shape, and we are all finally sitting down to a tasty diner breakfast by around…
10:30: We feed our ravenous faces like the greedy g33ks we are.
11:15: The party (“party” meaning “group of people,” rather than “celebratory occasion”) breaks up. Some head back to the HoP. Some head downtown toward the Subway Art Tour or other points south. Dyno, J355, Hitsnarfle and I decide to be touristy and go check out Central Park.
11:30: We wander around the park, having entered it at the southwesternmost corner - right where Trump Tower is. We look at stuff. We make many many many horrible jokes and laugh ourselves damned near hoarse. J355 and I ride the carousel!!! while Dynosaur and Hitsnarfle pretend not to know us. We run across a statue of two eagles violently ripping a goat to shreds. No explanation on or around it. We find the statue of Shakespeare. You read the information about him on the statue’s pedestal, and look up and get a view of Shakespeare’s Ass. Not the best planning, I think. We wander through Poet’s Corner and end up back on the street on the west side, and start looking for a subway station. After a while, it becomes abundantly clear that one of the best ways to get a fantastic walking workout is to make the mistake of thinking Hamadryad (I was getting jealous of bolding everyone ELSE’S name) has the vaguest idea of where the hell she is going. So. We turn around and go BACK the extra several blocks we’ve gone in the wrong direction, and then the REST of the distance…back to the same subway station.
14:00: We have now arrived in gigantically sparkly glittery Times Square. You may recall that I had a UTI from Hell…well, we decided to get some coffee and appetizers at Applebee’s because a) it was warm, b) they would bring the food to us, c) it was RIGHT THERE, and d) it was pretty likely to have CLEAN BATHROOMS. We ate nachos and fajitas and drank coffee, tea, or (in J355’s case) a margarita. To leave the Applebee’s we were pretty much herded down toward a tourist-trap souvenir shop, where J355 bought Democritus the bestest t-shirt ever: “Fuck you, you fuckin’ fuck.” Very Demo-esque. Dyno and Hitsnarfle wandered off to check out an arcade while J355 chilled out and people-watched, and I went to the Sanrio store to check out the Badtz-Maru merch (the selection blew monkey-chunks, by the way). Then we all wandered down to the GARGANTUAN TOYS R US FROM HELL and spent waaaaaaaaaaay too much time looking at toys. We managed to avoid wandering into the Barbie section. We r0xx0rz.
16:00: We wend our way back to the HoP. When we arrive, lno, Elenfair, Wisest Novel, Typo mna, and Mnementh are playing “Eye of Argon.” Dyno grabs a drink and joins them while J355, Hitsnarfle and I collapse in the entryway. We spend the next 45 minutes or so laughing our asses off (although, regrettably, J355’s and mine grew back almost immediately) at the drunkards in the next room. Well…more at what they were reading than the drunkards themselves.
18:15: After somehow getting a ridiculous number of people both into and out of the single bathroom in the HoP (I’d like to mention at this point that Scott Evil looks very well put together because he spends AGES doing his hair) and hustled our happy backsides over to America for dinner. When we arrived, everyone else was already there and most of us ended up sitting waaaaaay far away from everyone else. That was fine; the usual mingling was done and all was well. Everyone was fantastic-looking. Eutychus gave me the finger. The restaurant had three sliders and fries for $7.95; talk about “unclear on the concept.” I almost got a great picture up both Uncle Bill’s kilt and Geobabe’s miniskirt, but instead I just got a bit of thigh and some plaid. Blast.
20:00: Many celebrants ajourn to the No Idea? bar. A room has been reserved. As we walk in, a big sign behind the bar informs us that Billdo’s money is no good there, and all of us pretty much nod and say “That r00lz!” because he shouldn’t HAVE to pay for drinks, damnit. He gives a rousing speech detailing the furthest-traveled Doper (Soda, of course), and all of the couples which have resulted from the boards (whose who were there, anyhow), and then everyone made with the partying. Mortimer the Very Small Sheep had his picture taken in more sets of cleavage than I care to think about. I lied. I love to think about the cleavage. ANYHOW…there was much mingling and rejoicing and all of that good stuff.
00:30: Hitsnarfle and I hop back on the subway with Pucette and MsWas to the HoP. When we get there, Wisest Novel and Nen are drinking cocktails and proceeding toward three sheets to the wind, and LaurAnge is utterly failing to fall asleep on the couch. We hang out for a few minutes, listening to Wisest Novel and MsWas discuss goth/industrial/electronic music; it was really interesting, actually. And listening to some music MsWas had put together. During this, I turned into a pumpkin and went the hell to bed. Well, to “palatte of sleeping bags on the floor.”
Sunday:
09:00: Again, Jonestown. Everyone slowly turns into a human being, amidst groans aplenty. The usual suspects (i.e., the people I’ve talked the most about in the HoP) mill around for a while and eventually make it to the subway station, where we fling ourselves madly toward Billdo’s famous Bagel Brunch. When we disembark at 72nd, I try to lead us the wrong way, not realizing that the station I was used to coming out of was both a) across the street and b) out of service. Fortunately, Eonwe and LaurAnge were both more than willing to tell me I was a FOOL AND A MORON, so we only went abut a quarter block out of our way before turning around. (You’d think Dyno would have known I was fuxx0r3d, since he’d been along on the Walk To Nowhere the day before…) About a block from Billdo’s, whatmove showed up in his jammies and accompanied us the rest of the way. When we got inside there was room to breathe as long as you didn’t mind doing it without actually allowing your lungs to expand. I’m kidding…but it was crowded. It was also AWESOME. Plenty of tasty bagels, lox, cream cheese, coffee, salsa, chips…mmm. I got to hold the BeanSprout, who is honestly gorgeous and DAMN, is he a muscular kid. We danced. He led.
12:00: Weirddave and GingerOfTheNorth and Hitsnarfle and I bid everyone very reluctant goodbyes. On the way out, we go by the Cotton Club and the Apollo which is r0xx0r. As we head toward New Jersey it starts to snow…and the roads aren’t clear until Hitsnarfle and I have already dropped off the Maryland crew and are most of the way to Baltimore.
23:45: We finally get back to Richmond. We blurt a good hour’s worth of “we did this and that and saw these people and went here and oh my god that was so funny” & c at Tark, then I took Hitsnarfle home and the weekend was at its official end.
I had a completely fantastic time and am boggled and flabbergasted (both!!!) at the incredible warmth of the people I saw. It can be verified that I was much more relaxed and at ease with all of the DoperFolk than I usually am, even in far smaller groups of people. Good mojo all around.
or rather, here. LJ
Just think how good it could have been if you hadn’t been wearing so many clothes.
I just look so fabulous and delightfully gay in this picture.
I have yet to compose my full post…
You looked gay even when you were diving into my bosom.