Ah, that’s lovely. Thanks ever so, your royal etc. 
(Royal SOIL, Toonie? Not bad for a jester, but I’m glad you’re not in charge of naming things.)
Oh, All RIGHT.
You people never leave Us alone, do you? All day long, it’s “I need this” and “Can’t we have that?”.
It’s enough for me to want to start an autonomous collective.
Fine–if you wear size 14 and up–you lose 25 lbs. If a size 12 and under–you lose 10.
guys who don’t use this sizing system are all supposed to be out doing manual labor for the ones who do. They’ll lose those love handles soon enough…
NOW. We are going to have a nap. <places Do Not Disturb sign on throne>
What about the guys - can they all gain ahem a few inches?
Holy crap, I’m tripping over this thing now…
I think she wants us to wrap “it” around the handle of our plow and plow that deep moist rich loamy furrow.
Plow !! Plow !! Plow !!
( Oh, great. A Court Jester with loamy furrow issues. Great. )
Back at it, Jester. We need to see some deep tilling in the early spring wheat.
In fact, I want a freaking rice paddy–plow deeper, man, deeper! Right there-that’s it. 
Hmmm. As to the sweaty, hardworking men who would like to EARN a few inches…I proclaim one millimeter for every pound lost.
that should hold 'em for a while.
eleanorigby
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As it is written, so it shall be…let it be, babe.
Just more proof that I am Queen.
Aarrrgghh, yes M’Lady. Here? Or, p’raps a bit over there too?? 
( Whistles “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” as he plows the Regal Furrow. )
[ Note to citizens- Her Highness calls her nether hair " early spring wheat". Make use of this knowledge with great care. ]
Stingy Metric Bi… why yes, M’Lady. A millimeter is so very generous of you. Yes’m.
GAck–I, I mean, We couldn’t think of anything else off the top of Our head (so to speak).
A mm IS very generous–and you get to lose weight, too! The more fit you are–the larger you become.
And it is Royal Furrow–cripes, there’s a reason you’re Jester!
Darned tootin’ - the Court Jester cracks wise. He isn’t actually wise. Never ask a man wearing clown white and a gargantuan codpiece to act above his station. 
What’s the difference between Regal and Roya, anywhoo?
Regal refers to the manner in which Royalty acts.
Your attitude is regal, but your office is Royal.
Any questions?
And change your outfit, please. We would like Harlequin pattern, stretchy leotards, with “snowboard” hat, Nike hightops and a vacous expression. Keep the codpiece. See what you can do, 'kay?
This looks like you took a picture of one you just had lying around the house. Actually, I was hoping for one of those upturned ones like I saw on tv (Blackadder, maybe?)
I thought we were carrying-on.
Anyway I propose you dub me (not to hard) the “Evil Soothsayer!”
I’ll give you bad advice and start wars and such.
Well, SOMEBODY has to be the bad guy! :dubious:
For a small fee I can do predictions too.
:dubious: 57,000 people to populate an entire planet and you want to bring birth control?
The astroglide might be useful though.
Thank you!
And anyway, I thought he dong’s coloring was ICE blue, not just blue.
Sorry to say, my adder isn’t black. However, the codpiece does keep it from poking up.
They’re calling those adders now, we use to call them trouser snakes?
Sure-they’re deadly, no?
Jake --an Evil Soothsayer? That’d be…jake! Can you wear something akin to John Cleese’s outfit as the sorcerer in Holy Grail? I like the rams horns headpiece.
Toonie Jester–LOVE the second codpiece! I have just the place for it in the castle!
<yawns> It’s not easy being Queen, you know. But someone must keep the seamstresses of small, blue curtains and square, bulky handbags in business.
Note to self: these good folk must have a place in the Kytherialand.
I still need:
A Master of the Horse
A Senior Advisor
Minister of the Interior
Several Badly Behaved Blood Relatives Who Will Embarass Me Often
Archbishop of Pink Unicorns and Og
Sheriff
Chancellor of a checkered patterned floor which will morph into Exchequer
Lady of the Robes
Ladies in Waiting (didn’t you always wonder, waiting for what?)
Page Boy (or two)
Knights-must be prepared to Quest.
Cook
Serfs
Peasants
Indentured servants/Apprentices
Assorted Other British Period Film Folk Who Will Fill In Gaps Nicely.
(I wonder if Kytheria will ever forgive me for hijacking this thread so badly…sorry.)